To ask what keeps you motivated to take care of yourself?

[allthingsglitter]

During lockdown I’ve gained 1 and a half stone.

I’ve always been a bit up and down with my weight but going to work, seeing people regularly, nights out etc, all kept me motivated to keep my weight stable.

Since lockdown I haven’t done any of the above things.
I gave birth 3 weeks before lockdown so I’m
on maternity leave. I’ve met a few friends post lock down for a walk, we go to a weekly baby music class, but that’s about it.

I just seem to have lost all motivation for self care.
I hear my friends talking about a new face mask they’ve tried, the hair cut they’ve had, the healthy lunch they’ve made, the appointment for a manicure.

All I can think is, why bother?

I shower every day, brush my teeth, wear minimal makeup (foundation) but I don’t go much further than that.

I don’t paint my nails, or take long relaxing baths.
I don’t wear perfume (Although I have several bottles)
I run a brush through my hair but don’t style it.
I don’t have a skin care regime (just use water and a plain moisturiser)
I’m not making good food choices either.

All I keep thinking Is, well I’m not going anywhere or seeing anyone so why do
I need to bother making an effort.

It’s just making me think, did I only ever make an effort for the sake of other people, rather than myself?

Was my motivation for self care to impress other people?!

What keeps you motivated to look after yourself?

I guess to feel good about myself. To feel nice .

I always feel happier when I feel good about myself.

I think we can all feel a bit unmotivated at times, even more during / following a lockdown.

Having a holiday booked is always a good motivation for weight loss and eating well.

Most of us won’t have that incentive at the minute but that usually does the trick.

My love of style keeps me motivated plus I HATE seeing myself looking pale and exhausted. I definitely do it for myself.

I want my daughters to see a healthy happy mum picking them up at the school gates. That motivates me slightly but tbh I've never made loads of effort in term of makeup.

I’ve never really had a particular style for fashion, but I do know what you mean.
I do love wearing new things.

Interesting post OP, I struggle with this myself, find self care difficult in general but having a baby this year hasn’t helped.
Is it to do with your self esteem? You have to think you are worthy of caring for? Not sure...

Good question op.

You have a young baby, it can really put you off all the effort when you're so busy looking after someone else's needs.

I am vain enough to be motivated by feeling attractive, I guess. I remember after I had my first child I went a bit lazy for a year or so. I don't mean zero effort, but definitely less. I also didn't lose the last 10lbs or so until I had stopped breastfeeding, and having extra weight on me makes me feel gross.

it depends how you define taking care of yourself - what does it mean, in real terms - for you?
eg for me it's about making sure I go for a walk with the dog - easy way to get some exercise in
moderate my cookie intake
try to exercise at least 3 x week, but its okay if one of those sessions are yoga
blow-dry hair instead of letting it dry into a rats nest

at the moment, that's taking care of myself for me. other people might do more - it's all individual. you might feel that you are taking care of yourself at the moment with what you're doing as listed above, if you don't, what would 'taking care of you' look like?

@OnePotato2Potato

Interesting post OP, I struggle with this myself, find self care difficult in general but having a baby this year hasn’t helped. Is it to do with your self esteem? You have to think you are worthy of caring for? Not sure...

@OnePotato2Potato

I was wondering that regarding the self esteem too.

I don’t feel like my self esteem is particularly low at all.

I think it’s more that life feels bit on hold right now, you know?
I’m just struggling to find a motivation to put effort into myself.

I wonder if I was socialising more I’d be making more of an effort but then that makes me feel like that’s for other people and not for me!

Oh, and I'm thinking about it - if I didn't see another person I'm not sure I would bother with nice clothes and makeup. I have always liked to look good for my partners though.

It's not for other people though, I wouldn't say? It's pride in your own appearance and I reckon if I got stuck alone on a desert island with a box of makeup I wouldn't put it on, unless I got really bored. I bet most others wouldn't either.

To reduce the risk of poor health as I age.

For me, my idea of 'self care' changed when I had a kid. It was no longer having a haircut or wearing make up (although I do still love those things, but only when I have baby free days). Instead it became about healthy eating, mental health, and getting some time away from being Mum. I realised I was a better person and a better Mum if I had a proper nights sleep and was mentally healthy and was a healthy weight.

@justsayso

you might feel that you are taking care of yourself at the moment with what you're doing as listed above, if you don't, what would 'taking care of you' look like?

Yeah I suppose to an extent I am, I shower daily, clean clothes, brush my teeth, wash my hair.

But then again, aren’t they all essential care rather than “self care”.

I don’t have the motivation to paint my nails, or do a face mask, all the extra bits to make myself feel good.

I was at the music class with my baby today, took off my shoes and saw how dry the skin was on the heels of my feet...

I have plenty of foot masks, foot files etc, but for some reason I haven’t taken care of my feet for months!

I work full time in a very demanding job and have two small DC so it's really difficult to find the time for self-care. I make an effort with clothes, make up and have my hair cut and coloured every six weeks even when I'm knackered and it feels a hassle because I know that it's beneficial for my mood. I could probably have an extra half and hour in bed in the morning if I didn't make any effort with my appearance but if I feel that I look nice it allows me to walk into work feeling more confident and sets me up for having a better day.

@firesong

It's pride in your own appearance and I reckon if I got stuck alone on a desert island with a box of makeup I wouldn't put it on, unless I got really bored. I bet most others wouldn't either.

You know, that’s a good way to describe how I feel...

I haven’t seeing much time with people recently so maybe it’s the feeling of being alone that’s dampened my motivation!

If I dont take some sort of care of my self I feel vile. I have to have a shower or bath every day, and least of all make sure I have some mascara and eye brows filled in so I look semi okay if I'm not going to put my whole face on or I'm having a lazy day. It's my own mental health that motivates me to look after my self, as if I look dreadful I feel dreadful.

You have a young baby so cut yourself some slack. It's taken me until my youngest is four to gain some semblance of motivation to take care of my health. I had zero motivation when nackered. I see exercise as just another job that needs to be done, a bit like cleaning the house. Wish I felt different but I dont. When tired I didnt do it. Set myself smaller goals like a walk in the sun with the pram etc.

I think make time for things you enjoy but if getting dressed up, pampering etc doesnt give you pleasure then dont bother. If you used to love it and now dont then maybe work out why. Losing interest in pleasurable activities can sometimes be a sign of depression.

I know what you mean, op.

I try really hard to keep slim, but now I'm thinking what's the point? May as well stuff my face and gain 3 stone? But then none of my clothes will fit and I'll hate being big

For sure it's a constant effort to keep slim, eat healthy food, showering, make up etc

@DDIJ

I brush teeth, wash hair and wear deodorant.

I threw almost all of my clothes out and just have 2 tops and 2 bottoms now. Before I was 20 I enjoyed wearing nice clothes but now I don't go anywhere and I think everyone would laugh at me if I wore anything nice. Same with make up. If I tried to look nice people would laugh.

I have untreated rosacea that has turned into rhynophyma.

I don't eat properly.

@DDIJ

Why do you think people would laugh at you?

I don't know... I just never don't feel motivated to look after myself.

I want to look in the mirror and be happy. I want my son to think I'm lovely. I want DH to think I'm hot!

I enjoy having a beautiful skincare routine... This is non negotiable - I'm low maintenance with makeup and hair but I enjoy looking after my skin.

Oh I'd also say... I've had a horrendous injury from pregnancy and exercise is very difficult. It's made me realise how important it is when you physically cant it's awful. Having lots of exercise makes you feel amazing.

@doadeer

* I want DH to think I'm hot!*

God my DH sees me with my boobs whacked out, baby sick all over me, proper mum bun on top of my head.

Poor guy hasn’t seen hot for months