To ask what keeps you motivated to take care of yourself?

[allthingsglitter]

During lockdown I’ve gained 1 and a half stone.

I’ve always been a bit up and down with my weight but going to work, seeing people regularly, nights out etc, all kept me motivated to keep my weight stable.

Since lockdown I haven’t done any of the above things.
I gave birth 3 weeks before lockdown so I’m
on maternity leave. I’ve met a few friends post lock down for a walk, we go to a weekly baby music class, but that’s about it.

I just seem to have lost all motivation for self care.
I hear my friends talking about a new face mask they’ve tried, the hair cut they’ve had, the healthy lunch they’ve made, the appointment for a manicure.

All I can think is, why bother?

I shower every day, brush my teeth, wear minimal makeup (foundation) but I don’t go much further than that.

I don’t paint my nails, or take long relaxing baths.
I don’t wear perfume (Although I have several bottles)
I run a brush through my hair but don’t style it.
I don’t have a skin care regime (just use water and a plain moisturiser)
I’m not making good food choices either.

All I keep thinking Is, well I’m not going anywhere or seeing anyone so why do
I need to bother making an effort.

It’s just making me think, did I only ever make an effort for the sake of other people, rather than myself?

Was my motivation for self care to impress other people?!

What keeps you motivated to look after yourself?

I think there’s a difference between self care and preening.

For me self care is about taking care of my physical, mental and spiritual well being. I’m very much an introvert so it’s about making me feel good on the inside. Keeping a healthy weight, fit and well fed (as in eating healthily) keeps my outer shell in its best position to house my soul and I owe it to my soul to have a good home. Looking after my own needs creates a content and balanced mind which helps me interact with both myself and others in a more pleasing and fulfilling way. Looking after my soul means growth of the real essence of me and it’s this that’s important. Whether my hair is perfect or my nails done isn’t about self care for me but it might be for others if it improves their mental wellbeing.

Overall it’s about valuing yourself and doing it for you rather than anyone else. Seek to make yourself contented first and foremost as you deserve It, it’s not about putting on a show for others

@Ihatefish

Seek to make yourself contented first and foremost as you deserve It, it’s not about putting on a show for others

Love this.

[quote allthingsglitter]@doadeer

* I want DH to think I'm hot!*

God my DH sees me with my boobs whacked out, baby sick all over me, proper mum bun on top of my head.

Poor guy hasn’t seen hot for months [/quote]
My DH saw all this too! But he always saw huge boobs (haha) and we would still have a date night each week where I wore my hair down and a tight dress with stockings and he wore a shirt I liked and my favourite aftershave. Haha.

This works for us x

I've lost a stone in lockdown. It's given me something to focus on. And I think if obesity is a risk factor (for many illnesses in general), then that's good motivation

I gained weight in lockdown through a combination of comfort eating and drinking! Eating things I would normally limit and having a LOT more wine etc than usual. Coupled with working on a computer pretty much all day, being stuck in the house, wearing slobby clothes (bottom half - pjs / joggers etc) well....it was bound to happen!

None of my jeans or trousers fit, everything feels tight and I felt rotten. About 10 days ago I just woke up one morning and said enough is enough.

I've cut back on everything - no alcohol / treats and very healthy meals. I've lost 6lbs so far and feel really motivated, I see my wardrobe full of lovely things I can't fit into and I'm really determined.

Last week I got my hair colour done in the hairdressers and I bought a quick drying Essie dark burgundy nail polish and gave myself a mini manicure. I'm not brilliant at them but it definitely felt better.

I want to feel better in myself now and get back to my more normal shape and size,

good luck OP, it's not easy with a tiny baby!

I remember that I really enjoy self-maintence once I've done it, even if I feel like I can't be bothered beforehand! I never think I need a haircut, but once I've gone to the salon I feel better and think I should have gone sooner. I never want to go for a run but once I've been I feel brilliant! So I try to do these things for my future self even if I feel like I don't want to in the moment

Was this your first DC? Seems likely!

Apart from weight gain / food, which is a health issue if you’ve become overweight, the things you mention are mainly ‘grooming’, rather than self care.