Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be concerned about DD

60 replies

TinaTraybake · 15/10/2020 21:10

When I picked up my daughter from school she seemed down, but I know Thursdays aren't good days for lessons at her school according to her and her brother so I just assumed she was a bit bored and would perk up when we got home. Usually my DD (aged 13) and my DS (almost 12) go out skateboarding around the block together when they come home from school. Today when we were back at home I asked when they would go skating and my DD replied with "not today, there's too many people from school around" This is when I started to worry something had happened at school because normally she isn't bothered about what people think and although she doesn't like school, she's never had a problem with the people there. I've asked her if anything has happened today and she's just said she's a little tired. She's been quiet all evening which is really out of the ordinary. I've asked my DS if anything happened today as they go to the same school and he said when he came out of school loads of boys were laughing and he heard a few of them say her name. After we had tea, DD asked if she could stay home tomorrow. When I asked why she said "no reason I'm just a bit fed up of it"
She went to bed 45 minutes ago which is also unusual for her as she's 13, she normally goes to bed at 9. I don't want to nag her about it but there's definitely something up and I'm really worried about her. I'm sure something has happened today that she isn't telling me and I don't know what it could be if she doesn't want to tell me. I'm also debating whether to let her stay at home tomorrow just to rest or if I should make her go to school as usual.

OP posts:
Wiredforsound · 16/10/2020 03:48

Please don’t keep her off. You can’t keep kids off just because they’ve had a bad day at school and it would just mean she’d worry about it over the weekend. Teaching them avoidance coping strategies won’t make the problem go away. With a bit of luck this is a storm in a tea cup and she’ll come home happy tomorrow.

TinaTraybake · 16/10/2020 08:15

Hello, she's up and dressed for school and we've had a chat already. I've said I have no problem with her staying at home today but we should probably talk about why she wanted to stay at home. I also said though that if she thought whatever going on at school could be made worse in her head if she had the day off and then the weekend maybe she should go in to school. I think at the moment she's going to school today but maybe she'll change her mind last minute. Thank you everyone for the advice

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 16/10/2020 08:20

Really hope she is ok.

TinaTraybake · 16/10/2020 11:08

DD went to school and I've just received a message from DS saying he's spoken to her and all seems fine. I'll see how she is when she's home.

OP posts:
VeggieSausageRoll · 16/10/2020 15:33

@TinaTraybake

DD went to school and I've just received a message from DS saying he's spoken to her and all seems fine. I'll see how she is when she's home.
Hope all is ok. Your son sounds lovely Smile
firesong · 16/10/2020 15:38

My daughter was like that for a couple of weeks and it turned out that a boy in her class was tripping her up and whispering that nobody likes her (they were 7/8). I imagine that either something embarrassing happened as someone else said, or that someone was hassling your dd Sad

TinaTraybake · 16/10/2020 16:10

@VeggieSausageRoll Thank you so much.

The kids are back from school now and DD seems much more like her usual self. I'm hoping whatever happened was made worse in her head and it actually wasn't that bad. I think when DH gets home I might take DD out shopping or do something similar just both of us and I'll just see if anything comes up in conversation.

OP posts:
MsEllany · 16/10/2020 16:27

@TinaTraybake, don’t you ever have days where you just don’t feel on top form? Your daughter has told you nothing happened. Don’t push push push. She’s at that age where hormones are a huge issue, I remember crying my eyes out with rage that mum dared talk to my tap dance teacher.

I get you’re worried but try not to meddle and coddle too much.

TinaTraybake · 16/10/2020 16:40

@MsEllany
Yes, I do have days like that but I was concerned because my daughter was happy and talkative when she went to school and when she came home was quiet, seemed sad and didn't want to do things she normally enjoyed. I haven't nagged her and I know hormones are a huge issue so I don't want to make a huge fuss about it. Thank you for the advice.

OP posts:
Sally872 · 16/10/2020 17:04

Glad all seems well. Hope for your own peace of mind you get some more information but think you are doing the right thing giving her a chance to talk but not pressuring her. Main thing is she faced school and is better today. Smile

New posts on this thread. Refresh page