People who blow hot and cold..

[DearyTearyMe]

Do my head in. Why?

Don't worry. Their arses are full of splinters. That's what sitting on the fence does.

In the case of my partner and my Dad it is a passive aggressive technique to control you / make you feel grateful when they are nice and scared to piss them off.

I know exactly what you mean op.

Control.
They think they can treat you however they like at any given time.
They think you are beneath them and that they don’t have to make an effort.

Don’t fall for it when they’re nice OP.
Grey rock them.

I have several friends like this. Does my nut in.

How are we meant to know where we stand when people do this? Bloody ridiculous.

How are we meant to know where we stand when people do this?

They do it precisely so that you DON’T know where you stand with them. Control.

I can't understand wanting to be that way.

Can fuck off!! Manipulative,controlling head fucks. Generally unpleasant people

There are 2 people that came to mind when I read your post.
Both school mums, one day they'll be over friendly and the next blank me.
They aren't friends with each other either.
One of them mostly acts like she's never seen me before on the school run but if I bump into her in town or at the shops she's friendly as anything.
I think they're weird and try not to give it head space.

CBAAAAAA with that kinda mindset. Just be chill, makes everybody's lives so much easier.

(I hate being surrounded by miserable people)

Mine is a work friend. One day super friendly and I'm the best thing since sliced bread. The next day can't barely look at me. Doing my head in.

Grey rock all the way

Take her for what she is. If she's funny or entertaining, enjoy her company. If you're in the mood to talk to her, talk to her. But give her no more than you cba giving at any time.

I've got a boss who acts like that (workwise, e.g. when giving feedback)
Everyone hates him. He's a controlling insecure prick, really.

Makes me think of my exh

I've got to say I could be a "school mum that blows hot and cold" and it's not because I'm manipulative or controlling. It's because some days I've got time and space to chat and other days I'm rushing to grab the kids between one meeting ending and another starting and I've got a huge amount on my plate that day. Some people are better when they have time.

It's definitely not a time thing in my case. Perhaps they just hate me.

I would be a bit careful about attributing dark motives here too... yes some people are arseholes.

But some people are depressed. Some people are insanely busy, worried about their jobs, struggling financially etc.

If you don't have time to stop and chat on the school run or immediately return phonecalls etc it may just be that you have more urgent priorities.

Like @Boom45 if I’ve got time I’ll be lovely and invest in the person in front of me, and if I’m in a rush or having a terrible day I’ll seem distracted/ not focused, so I suppose I could be one of the hot and cold people you mean.

I had a boss like this. She was an absolute cow in work then really nice in social situations. Nope. If you're an arsehole then fine, but own it.

Is it just u they do it to?

Yes, just me.

I've got a school mum friend like this. Some days she will text me non stop, but in person at the school will conveniently pretend she hasn't seen me or will blatantly walk straight past me. Sometimes she'll chat, other times I'll be ignored. I can't be arsed with it.