I’ve finally realised how much people judge based on looks, so I’ve decided to hell with it and to use it to my adavantage

[Lardlizard]

I know it’s not very feminist, but it’s dawned on me in recent years how differently people treat you when your wearing nice clothes and your hair and make up is done
So I’ve decided to just rembrace it and to just go with it

It is the way it is
So might as well make the most of the situation

I've recently gone from driving a banged up Polo (which I loved) to driving a Qashqai - I mean its hardly anything posh or fancy but I have noticed people respond differently to me - like I'm taken more seriously now I no longer drive a banger.

Not sure I can be arsed dressing any differently though. I am lucky with work as I've never had any dress code whatsoever pretty much all my working life. So I dress how I want to anyway. Sometimes I make more effort. These days I swim in the sea every morning (yes thats a superwoman stealth boast), spend seveal hours in a fleecy onsie and get dressed in time to pick DD up from school. so I hardly see anyone anyway

My boss once told me that I'd been promoted chiefly because they had realised I was taking my career seriously.

And the reason they noticed? I'd started taking in a briefcase

Really?

Most days when I used to go into work (now WFH) I always had to dress semi smart and put makeup on.

Lockdown came and I thought stuff it who's gonna see me apart from cat or people I know - so generally most days at home alone it's no makeup - however if I go out - even just to park or to shops etc I put on makeup - sometimes just eyeliner, mascara etc but often recently eye makeup (eyeshadow) because I like it, want to use it up and play with it.

Female neighbour with 3 DC who rarely wears makeup probably due to time etc has commented saying how nice it looks, but I'm not necessarily doing it for me or outside world (nice to get admiring looks) but am doing it because I want to - and it makes me feel better.

I have a few friends who don't wear makeup a lot - one friend almost never - another friend does wear a little bit but when she's dressed up and with it on she looks nice and another friend who's moved abroad was always like me - full face!

If people treat me nicely or less nicely if I wear makeup or not I find that pretty sad to be honest and very shallow.

nice clothes? really depends - when I had money I wore Joseph clothes etc and yes, those who knew what they were were a bit that I could afford them at my age and I've since got fatter so they wouldn't fit me anyway! I don't really bother with designer stuff now - the odd bit here and there but generally no.

If I wanted to I'd wear Massimo Dutti or stuff that 'looks more expensive' but can do that stuff cheaper anyway.

I just stick rigidly to the men's dress code and nobody's ever bothered me for it. I love wearing suits, boots and ties, or button-up shirts and nice jumpers, because I like the way it looks and there isn't any sense that it's been designed to appeal to men or any sexualised element to it, it's beating them at their own game.

Never felt that so I just dress the way I want and don't wear make up etc.

OP: wear what makes YOU happy. If that happens to be heels and dresses, or if lipstick and a coiffed hairdo makes your day feel better, crack on and enjoy. I'm all for that.

What I wouldn't be doing is paying too much concession to what other people think of me or how I'm treated (as long as it isn't with rudeness or contempt). If they are people I care about then they won't care anyway, and if they're not, or are strangers to me, I've no reason to care what they think.

Feminism is irrelevant. It's about redressing serious social injustices experienced if you're born female and constrained by damaging feminine stereotypes. It's not particularly interested in individual choice (provided that said choice is available to be freely made in the first place).

As long as you are neat and tidy and you don't frighten the customers, wear what you like!

I lived with a female friend who was stunning. And it was very noticeable that I was treated differently in her company. Honestly breaking down in the car was never a problem and we got a lot of free takeaways. She was mostly oblivious to it. I think she thought life was like that for everyone. But on the flip side she got a lot of unwanted attention and some of her men were twats, and I suspect people thought she was a bimbo when she was clever.

I agree op.

Dropped my car the garage and Was in gym leggings and a hoodie with my hair in a messy bun. No make up.

Asked about a certain car they had and if it came in a hybrid version. Clearly
Couldn't be arsed just said no and walked off.

Came in to pick my car up, jeans, nice coat, hair blow dryed And make up on. Fucking falling over themselves to make me a cup of tea to take on my way in my Travel mug.

I always read threads like these fascinated because i've honestly never noticed a 'pattern' of people treating me one way when i'm 'dressed nicely' and one way when i'm not. I'm not very observant at the best of times, though...

Good for you OP! I'm really fortunate that my boss (and DP) don't worry about such things but then I'm in tech so it's all good! But you go for it!

If only society valued us for the content of our characters, and not the content of our reflection in the mirror.

People judge you on appearances, it’s human nature. I live in jeans and flat shoes but I make sure my clothes are clean and well-fitting and my hair styled so I always look reasonably presentable and feel confident, then I don’t have to waste time thinking about my appearance

Nancy yes it’s that type of experiences exactly

@Navillerax

I always read threads like these fascinated because i've honestly never noticed a 'pattern' of people treating me one way when i'm 'dressed nicely' and one way when i'm not. I'm not very observant at the best of times, though...

same here

now I am wondering if I am equally ignored or the opposite

I honestly believe it's more about confidence and how you present yourself than looks only. Some women have admitted on MN that they are uncomfortable being seen without a full face of make-up on - I genuinely couldn't care less, and I haven't got time to redo my make-up if I have a shower at lunch time!
It's not impossible that the day they are make-up free women who do care give vibes of discomfort and insecurity or something and people react accordingly.

I don't think I need anything from people who would dislike me because of my appearance. They can enjoy their opinions & I will enjoy my ignorance about their opinions.

-Unrepentant ScruffBag

I shower, deoderise, wear clean clothes, brush my teeth and hair and wear comfortable clothes and shoes that I like and are not unlike what I see most other people wearing. I smile and make eye contact and am generally pleasant to people. If I'm going to be judged negatively because I haven't got make up on, painted my nails, wearing a skirt and heels, or whatever, then really, I don't care for that person's opinion. Life is far too short for that shit.

I shower, deoderise, brush my teeth and hair, moisturise and wear clean, comfortable clothes and shoes that I like and most other people around me wear (basic, decent grooming, in other words). I smile and make eye contact and am generally pleasant to people. If I'm going to be judged negatively because I haven't got make up on, painted my nails, wearing a skirt and heels, or whatever, then really, I don't care for that person's opinion. Life is far too short for that shit.

Sorry for double post, thought first hadn't worked.

I feel more confident if I go out dressed nicely, nails and hair done, so i think that really does help. And people do treat you better. I think it’s a subconscious thing with people that they judge you to be more respectable and trustworthy. I know its not fair because that’s not how it works.