I’ve finally realised how much people judge based on looks, so I’ve decided to hell with it and to use it to my adavantage

[Lardlizard]

I know it’s not very feminist, but it’s dawned on me in recent years how differently people treat you when your wearing nice clothes and your hair and make up is done
So I’ve decided to just rembrace it and to just go with it

It is the way it is
So might as well make the most of the situation

You can be free to be and wear what you want. A bin liner or a designer trouser suit. The choice is actually yours. Liberation for me is freedom to be acceptable and accepted in anything.

If you feel better go for it. I would say people probably are not treating you differently, but whatever you are doing is giving you added confidence for whatever reason, something you need to explore. Why are you more confident when stylishly dressed?

As a rather plain looking, middle aged woman I can’t rely on my looks for any favours.
However I did find at work that people took more notice of me when I was wearing a ‘power’ suit. Unconsciously or not they assumed I had some kind of authority and would defer to my opinion.
So yes I would dress in the way that helps you along the most.

It so depends on the circumstances and being appropriate, surely?

I have never noticed any difference if I am wearing make-up or not, or if I am wearing a suit with flat shoes or a dress with heels at work, or any difference either if I am wearing work clothes or exercise clothes.

But I wouldn't turn up at work all scruffy, and if I was still into that kind of things, wouldn't turn up at a club wearing shorts and a sweaty oversized tshirt.

I make an effort as I feel more confident - I don't want to look like a bag of washing just because I'm in my mid sixties. Sadly, people do judge a book by its cover.

My hair is grey but clean and styled, my pull-up elasticated waist jeggings don't look shabby and these days, I co-ordinate my face mask. If other people don't like it, hard cheese.

I am confused that you are still on the old-fashion nonsense of confusing feminists and scruffy or unattractive however, haven't we evolved from that by now?

@nutmegtea

I suppose it depends on what you like, I tend not to like the very glam or very polished look. I think its a bit boring and conventional, not very imaginative.

Glam is such an over the top “look”. Ditto polished. However, the following are always helpful:

Having neat, shiny hair - I favour a length just reaching the shoulders.

Wearing natural make up so NO eyeliner, heavy brows, heavy foundation, bright lipstick!

Wearing appropriate clothes which are in natural fabrics and in subtle classic colours. Clinging is bad. Too short is awful. Not fitting properly is equally unacceptable.

Wearing a light scent.

Avoiding heels especially scuffed ones.

Wearing good coats.

Carrying a nice bag which is not bling yet or showy.

blingy

Nope it’s just as awful to see a man with bobbly joggers a T-shirt with holes and his stomach hanging out. It costs nothing to take a bit of pride in ones appearance.

By that I mean there is nothing feminist about it.

I stayed at a nice hotel a couple of years ago for work. Checking in, I'd been travelling for four or five hours and felt gross (stuck on the A1 for hours in the sun) and didn't look terribly presentable. I got quite a cold reception.

On the second day, dressed smartly, make up on, the same man was much more helpful.

I have found that looking healthy makes a difference to the way people react to me. When I’m not looking after my health, I become invisible. When I’m healthy, I’m more vibrant, and people notice me and respond favourably.

Perhaps it’s how you feel in nicer clothes, and the confidence that people respond to.

It is a very annoying but true part of life that you are judged on how you look. I don't mean your physical appearance - I mean how you dress and present yourself. I will always remember going into a local department store one day dressed "down" as I had the day off work and got very little help in the department I was looking in. Next day, same department, dressed smartly (as usual) for work it was a very different kettle of fish. People shouldn't treat you any differently if wearing jeans or a smart suit but they do. It is not surprising and no big deal.

This is an interesting thread because we live 6 months every year in France. Here they do 'dress up' a bit more when they go out. I like it, I save my older clothes for home and co ordinate when out.

It's amazing how crappy a lot of people looked in the hot weather in England, mostly the men. I know it's lookist but what do we go on when we don't know a person?

So many rich people make an extra effort to look a mess, upmarket shops or hotels do not look down at scruffy looking customers. You will be turned away if you don't respect the dress code, but a posh hotel won't raise an eyebrow when you turn up at reception. Even if you are not famous!

It's more about confidence than anything else.

To be honest, I bet I’d have a better time with ketopenguin and auto, in my jeans and hoodie; than with someone who dresses to impress others.

It's amazing how crappy a lot of people looked in the hot weather in England

people seem more shocked about how "undressed" the Brits are when going out in the cold and rain

What ever you choose to do re. clothes and your looks, do it for yourself not everybody or anybody else.

This was special during our Lisbon trip

I realized this long ago too OP and use it to my advantage wherever possible. Working in a male-dominiated industry means I get what I want and more often when I 'dress to impress'.

If men are that stupid that they are swayed by a woman who is dressed well then I'll exploit that all I can. I don't see a problem.

HOWEVER, women react less favourably. You can't have it both ways. If I look like a slob, women are all 'oh, there there pet, life is so tough' - if I dress well and make the effort, it's 'who the fuck does she think she is'.

It's amazing how crappy a lot of people looked in the hot weather in England, mostly the men.

**

Hahhaha. I know. Men should not wear shorts

Wear what you like, what makes you feel good, what you are happy in. If that's a full face of high end make up and the clothes recommended on the How to Look Expensive threads, fabs. If that's a bare face and your favourite comfy leggings and jumper, fabs. All that matters is that you like it. Sure, we could all do with acknowledging that our likes and preferences don't happen in a vacuum and we are influenced by social norms- I prefer to remove a lot of body hair, that's definitely a result of socialisation and not an innate preference- but my bottom line is, do what makes you happy.

Things have changed a bit though, when I worked In Bond Street in the 70s , the 'posh' shop workers literally ignored the customers who weren't dressed to impress.

It is a very annoying but true part of life that you are judged on how you look. I don't mean your physical appearance - I mean how you dress and present yourself.

My cousin and her husband are very wealthy, don't work and love to drive a battered old car and wear clothes with holes in them. Last year they took their very sick young cat to a vet and were told there was no option but to put her to sleep.... the vet assumed they wouldn't be able to afford the specialist treatment that was needed. Thankfully they ignored that advice, got a second opinion, and the cat had an (expensive) operation and made a full recovery!

… so yes, wearing what you please can have repercussions. It shoudn't be that way but you will be judged.

I find that men and women are more friendly when I wear a nice dress and red lipstick. I think it’s ridiculous but it makes life easier and as a high functioning autistic woman, I want my social interactions to be as smooth as possible.

If I’m scruffy I don’t feel confident because I’m not sure what people are thinking and if I dress too sexily it seems to annoy other women and they look me up and down and don’t smile.