To be worried about what my DS did to get banned from this?

Cocomarine · 14/10/2020 00:06

www.net-aware.org.uk/networks/discord/

YABU to have a teen with a computer using social media, and not already have at least a vague idea what Discord is.

AnathemaPulsifer · 14/10/2020 00:07

Discord. It’s a chat room thing. He probably just annoyed someone in one chat room. Probably nothing to worry about. You should definitely have some idea what your kids are doing online though.

Cocomarine · 14/10/2020 00:08

Seriously, what is having a random look on his computer going to achieve? If he was banned from Discord for sending racist messages to another user, for example - where are you going to find that?
Talk to him about what he uses and how, and get familiar with at least the basics of the social media he’s using. Discord is a really big one.

Original poster

Sovietd0g · 14/10/2020 00:08

@Cocomarine How was I supposed to know what that is?

Anyway, I’ve had a look at that link, and he’s old enough

OP posts:

SadLove · 14/10/2020 00:09

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. Do some homework on it and google as much as you can. I think as parents of teens we need to be aware of as much as possible on their pc’s/consoles for their own protection.

Leaannb · 14/10/2020 00:10

[quote Sovietd0g]@Cocomarine How was I supposed to know what that is?

Anyway, I’ve had a look at that link, and he’s old enough[/quote]
By being a parent and knowing what they are doing on the internet

Babyroobs · 14/10/2020 00:10

[quote Sovietd0g]@Cocomarine How was I supposed to know what that is?

Anyway, I’ve had a look at that link, and he’s old enough[/quote]
I have 4 teens and had no idea what discord is, so you're not alone.

Elsewyre · 14/10/2020 00:13

@Sovietd0g

I overheard my teens chatting earlier. My DS (14) was telling his sister that he got banned from something on his computer. I think it was called Diskord, or something like that at least.

Should I be worried about what this is, and what he did to get banned?

Also, WIBU to look on his computer to see if I can find anything bad?

Chat software, can be for literally anything

If hes a child the number 1 reason for being banned is, being a child.

If you think a bunch of 20+ year olds want a 10 year old in thier chat kinda thing.

Making irritating noises, swearing, beating the person who runs the discord at the game you're playing. All likley reasons.

Deciding your kid is a white supremacist over this is probbaly jumping the gun, it's not like mods really care they will ban for whatever they want as it's a private chat

SadLove · 14/10/2020 00:13

Btw you’re already proving you’re a good parent for caring enough about it, try not to stress too much, your DS will have to learn a lesson now he’s banned so hopefully that will remind him to be careful how he communicates on there in future.

Chocolatedeficitdisorder · 14/10/2020 00:15

I kept the passwords for my kid's Social media until their 16th birthday. I logged in regularly and looked at what they were doing and what others were saying to them. I dealt with things I didn't like. It didn't make me popular but it was part of my job as a parent.

Cocomarine · 14/10/2020 00:17

[quote Sovietd0g]@Cocomarine How was I supposed to know what that is?

Anyway, I’ve had a look at that link, and he’s old enough[/quote]
Are you serious?

The link I gave you, is the NSPCC Net Aware link - so as mainstream as you get. Amongst the thousands of apps and games out there, it lists 68. Just 68. Discord is one of them.

If you have a teen, that’s like saying 🤷🏻‍♀️ “Well how am I supposed to have heard of Snapchat and Instagram?”

I’m not so naïve as to think that kids tell us everything, or that they can’t hide things... but it’s pretty rubbish of you just to be, “how am I supposed to know?” As a parent, you make it your business to know.

CarpetDiem · 14/10/2020 00:18

My DSs use discord & the main reasons for being banned are if you bully or are offensive/ homophobic/racist.
However they can also get ‘kicked’ from the server- similar to someone unfriending you on Facebook which is probably what’s happened

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 14/10/2020 00:20

By being a parent and knowing what they are doing on the internet

You can know what your teens are playing or how they are communicating online, but unless you sit behind them and watch their every move you won't know what they are doing on it all the time.

iswhois · 14/10/2020 00:21

Is he into computer games? They are used quite often for that. Could have gotten into a dispute with another player etc

YayGlitter · 14/10/2020 00:25

DS got banned from discord once for calling someone out for being a sexist dickhead, so he might not have done anything terrible. He could have said something awful but most likely he was just being a bit annoying.

Bouledeneige · 14/10/2020 00:25

Jokes. All parents are aware all the time what their teens are doing online.

Get real. And yes, they have smoked weed too.

Naive.

Frappuccinofan · 14/10/2020 00:26

Discord is a gaming chat room thing. There’s lots of individual communities/chat rooms, and they all have their own individual “rules.” Similar to Reddit, but in a live chat format.

He could have been banned for anything, from low level spamming, posting spoilers, trolling etc to things like doxxing or hacking, to more extreme things like racism. I would say the low level stuff is more likely. He could have even been banned for the mods not liking him/his username, the “rules” aren’t necessarily strict.

MiddleClassMother · 14/10/2020 00:32

YANBU. It's very easy to get banned off discord according to my DH. It's basically a chat room and if you annoy a chat moderator you're out

MonaMinute · 14/10/2020 00:46

All of the parents saying they’re strictly monitoring their child’s internet use...know passwords etc...do you not realise that by the time they’re teens, if you’re too rigid with this, they’ll potentially have another account you don’t know about, or access sites on friends’ phones etc.

There are so many sites out there OP you can’t possibly know all of them. I think the best way is to educate your teen about internet safety and reassure them they can to talk to you without judgement about any issues they have encountered online.

MeltingIceCaps · 14/10/2020 00:56

All parents are aware all the time what their teens are doing online

You can know what your teens are playing or how they are communicating online, but unless you sit behind them and watch their every move you won't know what they are doing on it all the time

Yeah but there's a big middle ground between knowing every single thing they ever do online and never even having heard of a major chat room that your teen uses, given all we're told about being wary of our teens' use of social media and chatrooms.

safariboot · 14/10/2020 01:00

Discord is a site that lets anyone set up chat rooms (known as "channels" and grouped in "servers").

Anyone can set up a "server", and they can ban anyone from that server for whatever reason they like. So if he's banned from a server that probably means little.

Online services often use "ban" to refer to temporary suspensions, not just to permanent bans.

If he's banned by Discord itself he might have done something more significant, such as persistent harassment or abuse of others. Or he might just have got a server ban and made another account to try and skip round it, or his account got hacked, or all sorts of other possibilities.

SamsMumsCateracts · 14/10/2020 01:08

I have a fairly popular discord server relating to a hobby of mine and I moderate several others. The things I issue bans for are bullying, racist or homophobic language, being offensive on purpose, being a child, sharing too many personal details (those get several warnings about the dangers, but if they carry on I ban them for their own safety), inciting hate, doxxing, spamming and persistently flouting the server rules. Each server has different rules, so I would guess that you DS broke the ones on that particular server.

Valkadin · 14/10/2020 01:20

I am in discord it’s a gaming community with different rooms, people schedule events and do just chat you can send photos and tbh I keep my settings strictly locked down.

Cocomarine · 14/10/2020 08:16

@MeltingIceCaps

All parents are aware all the time what their teens are doing online

You can know what your teens are playing or how they are communicating online, but unless you sit behind them and watch their every move you won't know what they are doing on it all the time

Yeah but there's a big middle ground between knowing every single thing they ever do online and never even having heard of a major chat room that your teen uses, given all we're told about being wary of our teens' use of social media and chatrooms.

This. To never have heard of Discord, means you haven’t bothered to do the minimum of reading around how your child might be using the internet. Is it a losing battle that your teen might set up accounts you don’t know about? Maybe. Is that a reason not to keep up to date with how they are likely to be using their technology? No.

Chocolatedeficitdisorder · 14/10/2020 08:27

All of the parents saying they’re strictly monitoring their child’s internet use...know passwords etc...do you not realise that by the time they’re teens, if you’re too rigid with this, they’ll potentially have another account you don’t know about, or access sites on friends’ phones etc.

Anything is possible, but I knew what my kids were doing in our home and on their/our devices. That's as far as my responsibility could go but I certainly took that on rather than duck it.

I was tough with my kids but I have no regrets. Screen time was limited, computer games were very limited, no tvs in bedroom and mobile phones were given up at night.

My kids did well at school. One has finished university this year and the other finishes next year. They weren't distracted by social media during their school years.