To try to prevent the Christmas crap landslide now?

[mintyfreshh]

My DCs are small and currently the only grandchildren on both sides. Their grandparents go big at Christmas, think three or four 4ft high bulging sacks of toys, each!

Last year I asked very politely for fewer toys, as we simply do not have the space. Also my children felt completely overwhelmed and bored of opening them. I think I worded it like 'Please don't feel you need to buy lots of things for the DCs, we are happy with one or two things'

I would much much rather they had one or two gifts that had some thought put into them eg math puzzles for my autistic DS instead of hundreds of character toys and games that he is not interested in at all.

Last year I regifted/gave to charity over half the toys within the first month of opening them. Some are never opened.

I'm trying to prevent this waste occurring again but trying to find a way to word it effectively and politely. I am aware that my kids are lucky to get anything at all and we are always very grateful for the things they get, sending thank you cards etc.

Any ideas AIBU? Has anyone managed this successfully?

Yes, autistic dc situation too. Only grandkids ...

I worked out what they actually needed and wanted then sent a polite letter saying that we would be most grateful for help with x rather than heaps of plastic, could they limit toys to just one each (still lots as with uncles etc it added up!) We had just moved so it was nice bedroom furniture items eg desk and chair, bedside table etc. Following year they got Nintendo handhelds so grandparents paid half each including some games, ... and so on. Now they are adults one grandmother generously paid for halls for this year, other grandparents bought fancy backpacks (some fashionable Swedish brand). Get to grips with the situation, get them to put money into savings maybe?

Oh gawd I have this fear and my baby isn’t even born yet! First grandchild in the fam and my mum is very excited - thinking of having this convo with her sooner rather than later - we live in a tiny 2 bed no extra space for loads of toys and things - I want to take the baby to swimming lessons and things like that and would much prefer she gave useful gifts like that rather than stuff! But I dunno I’d imagine a lot of plastic toys are on their way

Oh and my parents bought all of their bikes for either Christmas or birthdays, I would suggest it 3 months or so beforehand so she was aware they had outgrown the previous one. According to my dd my mum has promised her a car for her birthday if she passes her test, yes the present situation doesn't go away but at least it's not plastic toys!

So much kinder to have these conversations, ethically and financially. The complete waste of money and resources stresses me and the guilt associated with feeling ungrateful too.

These are ongoing long term conversations...'not just for Christmas', including the value of the suggested and provided gift...the photos and chat about the zoo visit, the plans for the cash, time to play with the brio..turns it all into a positive rather than a negative.

My MIL is the same. She insisted on getting a 'stocking from Santa' to make out he had been to hers too (despite DCs asking why he left presents there). That only stopped when there were duplicates one year, as the DCs were getting old enough to twig... she agreed to stop to keep the magic going for DCs a little longer.

As for the other crap, we have asked, she doesn't listen - in the past we have tried to leave stuff there to play with at hers. Not sure how that will work this year as I can't see us being allowed there (Mark Drakeford's decision, not MIL).