High Earners on MN?

[BitOfFun]

How? The actual leader of my county council doesn't earn more than £100K- where and what are all these super-maxed out occupations? I genuinely don't understand how mumsnetters (often relatively young) access these magic jobs I've never heard of.

YABU- they are there for the taking, you just made poor choices

YANBU- people here are very creative and there's an outside chance they may be lying exaggerating.

@ToryAldi
Regarding networking, I used to take advantage of professional networking forums (in person events) and conferences. Now I am lucky that most people in my industry know me or know of me.

Also, having twice in the past ended up at what I thought was a business dinner but the other party thought was a date, I took to having my PA call the other party the day before to confirm key agenda points. That issue went away as I became more well known (and older).

...twice in the past ended up at what I thought was a business dinner but the other party thought was a date...

Stop the thread.

I’m going to need you to elaborate here, please.

In 38 and work in finance. I have not really tried progressing my career due to children until the last few years where we decided we are done with having anymore so now it's focus time. I've been with my current employer for a while and it's a keeper. They are paying for me to complete my cima qualification and this will massively open doors for me for the future as well. I'm currently earning £35k as a non qualified finance manager and should be edging £40k by the end of next year as I progress with my qualification. We also have £6k+ in bonus each year if we hit profit targets so that bumps salary up even more! It's not as high as others on here but I've managed to go from £25k to £35k in two years so I am very pleased with that and quite excited for the opportunities within the business in the future. Next step finance director when i qualify and The opportunity to buy into the company long terms plans would be to eventually set up on my own for my final working years as a consultant and earn as much as I can for retirement.

Nothing too awful 😅. Or even that unusual I think.

The first wasn’t that bad - just that I kept trying to talk about business whereas he kept reiterating “tell me about you”, while gazing into my eyes.

The second (years later and a different guy), was mortifying. He turned up with flowers. I don’t know how he got it so wrong.

Chuggington2 oh I agree! I would find it very hard to sustain that level of work commitment and juggle my family life, even with a very equal DH. I'm very impressed with women that can and do.

Most women on these threads about pay are telling the truth. you can tell from the details they give. I always find it interesting to hear how they got from A to B and I hope women who earn less don't feel upset or jealous. Loads of men and women are very happy not earning much. However if it matters to you then hearing how other women did it helps.

We were also like Pegasus and Caroline except I had my first child with my husband just over a year after we married and I was 22 and on £6250 a year (£20k in today's money) so we had a fairly low income start with 50% going on childcare and everything else we spent on pared right down. By the time the oldest was about 7 I was earning more - pay tends to go up year by year in City law firms. Scanning my diaries in the last year I could see back to then how it went. For example we found the cheapest rooms in a ski resort without bathrooms other than down the hall but we did have a skiing holiday in 1991 when the children were 3/5/7 which was obviously more expensive than in 1988 when we had a week at Butlins with the very very new baby, 1 and 3 year old - they enjoyed that too of course.

We also did as they did too - in getting a cleaner when we were due to have our 3rd child which certainly helped and with the twins in the later 90s we even found someone to babysit them on Saturday and Sunday mornings whilst we both worked or drove the older children around to parties etc.

I hope covid 19 does not damage women's career gains which have been achieved since the 1970s in particular. My teacher mother only just avoided losing her job just because she married in the 1950s (they didn't have children for 10 years as they needed her pay - my father was an impoverished medical student and then bought a house and only then had babies 8 years + after marrying). She says she was the first woman in Newcastle to claim the married man's tax allowance as she was keeping her husband. Mind you her mother was widowed in 1930 with a new baby and never remarried and her own mother was widowed twice, the last time in 1917 with 10 children so I suppose for 100 years this family has mostly had women paying for everything!

@PegasusReturns yes I completely agree with you about the pandemic disrupting the formal boys club. If women don't take advantage of this disruption though, we will sadly go backwards.

@Ploughingthrough the juggling at this level is definitely not easy. Money makes things easier in one sense because we have the help but on the other hand I long for the day when I am not managing people at home and work. Dh is equal to me in career terms and yes does pull his weight but usually only when directed. So a lot of the home labour is still done by me. What I have come to realise is that I have survived this long both because I don't need a lot of sleep, and, I am quick thinking and calm under pressure. I admire those in similar positions like Pegasus and Xenia who go on to have more than 2 dcs.

@TheLastStarfighter oh that's awful! I would have been sat there the whole time doing this -->

@CarolineBingley I truly feel like I’m coming out the other end with managing “home” as well as work and it makes such a difference!

We no longer have either a FT nanny or housekeeper. I was looking at hiring a PT housekeeper at beginning of year but Covid hit and it hasn’t been possible.

I have a very good cleaner who comes in regularly and we manage with meal/laundry services but I do look forward to the day when DH and I just eat out all the time and I have someone into clean once/twice a week

Yes networking is a challenge, as you say, as any kinds of private meetings that would be totally fine for a male mentor and his male protege will be seen as dates - if you're lucky, just by third parties. If not so lucky, also by your mentor...
The simple solution would be to find a female mentor, but in most companies, there are still a bunch of men and maybe a woman as head of HR, so that will limit your options.
So you have to make it really, really clear that your interest is purely professional. Spell it out, if you need to.

Just in case it accidentally put anyone off, my experience was only twice in a 25 yr long career, and they were very, very easily dealt with amicable and with humour. I don’t think there was any bad intention.. They also weren’t mentoring situations, just what should have been normal business contact.

I would choose a female mentor over male simply because a woman is more likely to understand the blockers and prejudices that another woman will face. Happy to take coaching from anyone though 😊

@KatharinaRosalie

Yes networking is a challenge, as you say, as any kinds of private meetings that would be totally fine for a male mentor and his male protege will be seen as dates - if you're lucky, just by third parties. If not so lucky, also by your mentor... The simple solution would be to find a female mentor, but in most companies, there are still a bunch of men and maybe a woman as head of HR, so that will limit your options. So you have to make it really, really clear that your interest is purely professional. Spell it out, if you need to.

We are a small company and so the mentor would be dh - I love the idea of getting the EA to formalise the arrangements - it's not something anyone but dh would ask the EA to do - but it's an easy change to make and I can see how in this situation it sends the right signals. We do want to support the woman we have in mind (if she accepts the job), to be successful - she is technically brilliant but the next level up will and should stretch her, we want her to succeed - in a supportive environment that tries to understand the unique challenges of not being a white male.

CarolineBingley and other high earners really, do you find that you are the personality type who doesn't worry too much? I mean can you compartmentalize and rationalize quite easily? Part of my problem is that I'm a worrier by nature, I worry about whatever is coming up at work and I worry that I dont see my kids enough, etc etc. and this is on an only mildly responsible professional job! I fear if I took anything much higher paid, I would be overwhelmed with worry and not be able to stay well myself. This is part of the reason I no longer apply for promotions, as I can cope with life as I am and am able to keep my worries in check! It's silly really because my children are fine and my job is going well- I could cope with a promotion probably but fear I cant. Just wondered if you dont really fret too much or if you have really good coping strategies?

This has been such a fascinating thread! So, I live in central London and I’m the director of a charity. I’m on just over £60K and I earn quite a bit less than most people I know. I love my job, though, so I’ve always seen it as a decent trade off. DP works in Finance and earns almost twice as much as I do. So, between us, household earnings are pretty average for our social circle. We’re both in our early 30s, no children yet, five degrees between us and we network our fannies off.

@Ploughingthrough Not sure if I qualify as a high earner, but I’m quite senior and no, I’m not a worrier at all. I tend to assume things will work out and they generally do. I’ve also found that my job (I can’t speak for others) has got exponentially easier the more senior I’ve become. More responsibility, but far less gruntwork and lots of room for creative thinking. It’s great fun!

@Ploughingthrough

CarolineBingley and other high earners really, do you find that you are the personality type who doesn't worry too much? I mean can you compartmentalize and rationalize quite easily? Part of my problem is that I'm a worrier by nature, I worry about whatever is coming up at work and I worry that I dont see my kids enough, etc etc. and this is on an only mildly responsible professional job! I fear if I took anything much higher paid, I would be overwhelmed with worry and not be able to stay well myself. This is part of the reason I no longer apply for promotions, as I can cope with life as I am and am able to keep my worries in check! It's silly really because my children are fine and my job is going well- I could cope with a promotion probably but fear I cant. Just wondered if you dont really fret too much or if you have really good coping strategies?

Honestly, I find that you’ll get past anything with experience.

There’s some activities I automatically perform now that five years ago would have me scared shitless. But I did them.
Sometimes I learned from my failures, sometimes I learned from my successes.

I hope covid 19 does not damage women's career gains which have been achieved since the 1970s in particular.

I read an article saying that in lockdown male academics submitted 50% more journal articles than usual, and female academics 50% less than usual :(

Otoh where I live I've seen lots of men (including DH) who usually commute and are now wfh doing the school runs and pushing babies round the park.

Plouging, yes. I was once interviewed by a journalist who was doing a series of interviews with successful women. She said we all had the same thing in common - we felt we had done a good enough job at work and a good enough job at home. That is how I feel . I can feel content with a job well done where perfectionists and worriers would constantly instead feel they had not done enough at home or work. I am lucky in that respect. That does not mean I am slapdash however.

Vodsell I remember the first time I gave a legal talk - very worried and then I just made myself do it again and again until the only thing I ever worried about was if the train would be on time and if I could find the venue.

@Camomila

I hope covid 19 does not damage women's career gains which have been achieved since the 1970s in particular.

I read an article saying that in lockdown male academics submitted 50% more journal articles than usual, and female academics 50% less than usual :(

Otoh where I live I've seen lots of men (including DH) who usually commute and are now wfh doing the school runs and pushing babies round the park.

And we have lots of our male employees asking to work less to spend more time with their babies and their hobbies! It actually a bit frustrating - we are struggling to find people (men or women) who want to work full time at a senior level. It's very specialist - so it's not an employer's market.

What I find confusing is the number of threads where people talk about their high earnings, giving the impression that the demographic is wealthy. Then you get the threads about things like people shivering in wooly hats and coats rather than switch the heating on which tells the opposite story. Something doesn't add up.

@DrCoconut

What I find confusing is the number of threads where people talk about their high earnings, giving the impression that the demographic is wealthy. Then you get the threads about things like people shivering in wooly hats and coats rather than switch the heating on which tells the opposite story. Something doesn't add up.

It's a wide demographic - how many people are members of MN? Even with 200,000 members. The top 1% will be 2000 members

@DrCoconut

What I find confusing is the number of threads where people talk about their high earnings, giving the impression that the demographic is wealthy. Then you get the threads about things like people shivering in wooly hats and coats rather than switch the heating on which tells the opposite story. Something doesn't add up.

What a load of nonsense.

MN is one of the most popular and widely used parenting sites there is. It gets huge amounts of traffic. In the old days, there was definitely a narrower demographic and it leaned towards the Nappy Valley Yummy Mummy. Those days are long gone and there is a broad range of users with a broad range of incomes and experiences nowadays. The users posting on the ‘high salary’ threads are not the same ones posting on the ‘struggling to get by’ threads.

@DrCoconut
People are weird about Spending on heating for some reason. They will happily pay more for dinner out one time than what it costs to have a cosy house for a whole month. I’ve never understood this.

Reading with interest.

Even at top salary bands I fear that lockdown has reversed (Perhaps irretrievably) women’s fortunes, with the majority of homeschooling/housework on their shoulders. More women were placed on furlough etc I believe too.

And I think the “old boys” network still going strong - from that busy state of the car park at my local golf club, golf has not been cancelled!

[quote Waterdropsdown]@DrCoconut
People are weird about Spending on heating for some reason. They will happily pay more for dinner out one time than what it costs to have a cosy house for a whole month. I’ve never understood this.[/quote]
That's my childhood - no heating but steak for dinner and whisky galore!

@DrCoconut

What I find confusing is the number of threads where people talk about their high earnings, giving the impression that the demographic is wealthy. Then you get the threads about things like people shivering in wooly hats and coats rather than switch the heating on which tells the opposite story. Something doesn't add up.

I’m really confused that you can’t grasp the concept that different people with different lives post on different threads about different things.

London is a wealthy city with many high-paid people living in high-value property. It’s also has an awful lot of people who are homeless through poverty. Would you walk up to a homeless person and say “I’m so confused why you’re poor when I’ve just been in Harrods and didn’t see anyone have their card declined at the till”.

Also, just to add, not everyone who posts on MN is British. In my country, the equivalent of £100k would put you into the top 5% and almost 15% of households have an income of over £100k.