Ghosted by a friend of 20 years?

[Midlifelights]

I think my friend of 20 years has ghosted me- she isn’t responding to any message I send (this has been going on for about 2 months) and when I suggest meeting, no reply. She’s active on Facebook but just no reply to me. I have literally no idea what is going on. I have asked if she’s ok. Nothing.

Aibu to wonder what’s going on? It’s making me feel really paranoid. Anyone else had this happen to them?

It’s all happy lovely posts on Facebook but no reply in real life and I can see she has read my WhatsApp’s.

I was thinking Covid rules / political differences too.
The events this year have been divisive.
I have definitely distanced myself from people who (talk shit) have outrageously different views to me.

I'd wonder if its the new partner being controlling in some way or has taken a dislike to you for reasons unknown amd she has 'chosen' him over you. I had a friend who while not ghosting, would become so self absorbed over any new relationship she would only initiate meet ups etc when single or make effort to respond to invites etc. It was almost funny but highlighted hwr own insecurities about being single. She would also reinvent herself to any new guy even if it meant dropping friends, music whatever she thought he wouldnt like or fit into the relationship narrative

Either way I didnt drop her, just quit initiating and we drifted apart. I feel sad as she was a good friend.for a while but it was all one sided - and not just to me. All her close friends from when I knew her said the same the thing. I kept her on fb so I suppose if she genuinely wanted to keep in touch she would but she hasn't. She's recently divorced so who knows if I'll here from her but I won't initiate or make any effort.

Its sad but I'm one of those people who never clings or over invests too much. in friendships. Friends come and go in life but its always hard when old friends drift. I would focus on other friends you have. If there isn't an obvious reason the issue will be with her, and its unlikely something you can fix, or should tbh.

Let it go, you're pandering to her if you keep sending messages. For some reason, she doesn't want to engage. You've messaged repeatedly, you've done your bit and the ball is in her court now. It doesn't really matter what the real reason is, she's stopped being a friend and let you down. You should be angry not asking her to throw you a bone. Sorry to be harsh, I've been in your shoes and it's shit but I found I felt better once I let it go.

Why o why is everyone focussing on "messaging" ?
"Don't message her again" "message her one last time"
What ever happened to lifting the phone? With Covid I guess popping by is out...

I had something similar happen to me. At the time i worked in a male dominated service and therefore helped any rare females who came along. Long story short we became best friends and went through some bonding trials together. One day of no contact turned into many days and then weeks. I was told by someone that she had stated a relationship with someone from the old work place, a man of money who I couldn't bear to have near me. He had barred her from speaking to me! Gob smacked was not the word. I could believe he would do that, I could believe she would agree to it. I couldn't believe she actually go along with it. A follower of rules we were not! A few years later we met up at funeral. I spoke with him first, he was surprised I was so chilled. we talked old days and she wasn't mentioned. Later and after much alcohol, she came to me like a long lost love. She had permission for us to be friends again. I shook my head in amazement, she was a user, I had come to terms with that, she only wanted me to entertain her, go on days out etc. She was talking about me visiting their two holiday homes and it would be like old times. I just brushed her off. Some people have relationships based on their needs at that time, when the need is over so is the relationship.