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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mother in law drinking and smoking

47 replies

Faye1991 · 11/10/2020 16:35

Hi I have 3 kids my youngest is 1 year old and my partner only child, my partners mum smokes weed all day and drinks every day the smell on her is vile my whole house ends up smelling of weed she thinks it’s okay to build up in my home and smoke it even though me and my partner don’t smoke or drink and have asked her not to. She wants to have my 1 year old for a week at her house and I’m so scared I don’t want my son around drugs or alcohol so I said no but my partner and I argued he said give her a chance! But if she can’t stay away from drugs and wine for 2 days when she comes to visit she sure isn’t going to do it for a week. Any advice please? Am
I over reacting?

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 11/10/2020 16:38

YANBU to refuse to let her have your child.
YABU to have her smoking in your house. If she can’t abide by your house rules then she’s not welcome.

Leaannb · 11/10/2020 16:43

I smoke and I occasionally drink. However, there is an appropriate time to do those things. All day long is not it

vodkaredbullgirl · 11/10/2020 16:44

Hmm Tell her to stop smoking weed in your house. Or ban her from coming into your house.

peakygal · 11/10/2020 16:44

YANBU...A year ago I had to stop my DD now 12 going to het bio DFs house for this reason alone. He just would not stop smoking it around her, bringing her to buy it and at one point sittings her down and educating her on how natural smoking it is and how good it is for her.. SS said I did the right thing as its a child safeguarding issue. Too many people are so blasé about weed but its illegal for a reason

peakygal · 11/10/2020 16:45

Apologies for typos!

ShalomToYouJackie · 11/10/2020 16:47

Why on Earth are you letting her smoke in the same house that your baby is in? That's ridiculous.

What she does in her own time is her business but she sure as hell would not be looking after my children or doing that in my house.

TheQueef · 11/10/2020 16:50

Don't allow her to smoke in your home or skin up!
Necky cow isn't she?Shock

FlorenceNightshade · 11/10/2020 16:53

A definite no from me too. Why does she want him for a week anyway? Do you actually need childcare?

I’d tell her you don’t want your DC exposed to her lifestyle so it won’t be happening but if she wants to see him under your roof and following your rules then fine. If not go LC and let your partner deal with her

MissConductUS · 11/10/2020 16:58

It would be insanity and irresponsible on your part to let your one year old stay with her for a week. A baby needs his actual mum. A continuously stoned and drunk caretaker would be even worse. Your son needs you, not some drug abuser.

C8H10N4O2 · 11/10/2020 17:00

I can understand why you NC'd for this.

Peanutbutteryogurt · 11/10/2020 17:02

Why on earth would anyone have your one year old for a week anyway?

Yogawithmydog · 11/10/2020 17:05

If she got too drunk or stoned to properly care for your one year old over the course of a week, he could suffer neglect, injury or harm. I would never in a million years let her have him. Never.
I'd also never have let her smoke that shit in my house either but that's another battle. Does your partner smoke it?

1starwars2 · 11/10/2020 17:12

Why would you and your partner even consider it. Clearly she is no position to adequately care for a baby. Your child isn't a belonging she can have a go with.

nimbuscloud · 11/10/2020 17:18

This is crazy.
Are you not all stoned from the weed smoke?

Vivi0 · 11/10/2020 17:20

I can believe you allow her to do this in your home.

I wouldn’t let her have your one year old for a day, never mind a week!

2bazookas · 11/10/2020 17:21

Tell your DP that you will give her a chance;

All she has to do is stay stone cold sober without any weed or cigarettes or smoking of any kind, as long as she's on your property. Not just once. Every single time she visits.

nimbuscloud · 11/10/2020 17:22

How old are your other children?

AlwaysLatte · 11/10/2020 17:23

I 100% would not have anyone smoking, whether cigarettes or especially drugs, near my child. Not even for an hour, never mind a week!!

CandyLeBonBon · 11/10/2020 17:24

Nope

Audreyseyebrows · 11/10/2020 17:25

She smokes in your house ?

Yanbu, don’t back down on this.

LightDrizzle · 11/10/2020 17:28

I misread it as her wanting him one day a week, and voted YANBU, she shouldn’t have him unsupervised.
I’m gobsmacked to learn she wants your baby for a week.
Stop letting her smoke in your house. If your partner keeps arguing about it, contact SS.

Ginfordinner · 11/10/2020 17:30

You and your partner need to grow a backbone and not let her smoke in your house. It can't be that difficult.

And don't let her look after your child unsupervised.

cherrybun01 · 11/10/2020 17:31

why is she smoking in your home? I'm actually amazed you still let her round. I'm sorry and it's probably hard because your partner inevitably allows her round but you need to grow a back bone asap. either tell her shes not coming round until she can handle being away from that shit for a few hours or take your son out when she is round doing it. not a chance would I let my baby be exposed to that. madness

Quaagars · 11/10/2020 17:33

No way would she be smoking in my house, weed or otherwise.
YABU for not putting your foot down there.
She's entitled to smoke and drink in her own home, but would need to accept making that choice means she wouldn't be looking after child if she did!
I wouldn't be happy with it.
Just no

katy1213 · 11/10/2020 17:35

I wouldn't have her in the house.

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