Mother in law drinking and smoking

[Faye1991]

Hi I have 3 kids my youngest is 1 year old and my partner only child, my partners mum smokes weed all day and drinks every day the smell on her is vile my whole house ends up smelling of weed she thinks it’s okay to build up in my home and smoke it even though me and my partner don’t smoke or drink and have asked her not to. She wants to have my 1 year old for a week at her house and I’m so scared I don’t want my son around drugs or alcohol so I said no but my partner and I argued he said give her a chance! But if she can’t stay away from drugs and wine for 2 days when she comes to visit she sure isn’t going to do it for a week. Any advice please? Am
I over reacting?

Honestly, the fact you even have to question this makes me question your parenting decisions.

I have had many arguments about this but my partner always ends up arguing with me, his mum argues and swears at me when I say something I have no family and seems I’m constantly in the wrong. I’m not a bad parent and I don’t allow her to smoke in my home when I go to work and come back I can smell where she has smoked in my home. I love all my kids and I’ve been with my partner for 3 years before that was in a dv relationship for 8 Years

So your dp is happy to have his baby and your other children subjected to second hand cannabis smoke and is happy to allow his mother be abusive to you?
He’s a shit.

Your partner argues with you and his mother swears at you? He needs to be an ex. Did you do the freedom programme or similar after the abusive relationship? None of this sounds healthy.

Faye you are NOT over reacting at all. How dare she stink out your house, but worse inflict passive smoking and weed on your baby.
. If something happened you would never forgive yourself.
Don't feel you are over reacting to stand up for your baby and your other children.

If your partner thinks it is OK for his mum to smoke weed in your house when the children are there why are you still with him?

You need to raise your standards as far as men are concerned.

I don’t allow her to smoke in my home when I go to work and come back I can smell where she has smoked in my home

If you're still letting her come back then you are allowing her. I'd be seriously considering my relationship with a man who thinks is OK. You're definitely not overreacting.

I've got news for you-you're in abusive relationship number two. They are endangering your child and unfortunately you are being abused into conforming. This is a child safety issue and could end up under police and social services investigation. Cannot fathom why your dumb ass husband thinks it's ok?

The next time she smokes in your home, ask her to please leave and not come back as she clearly can’t respect your wishes or your home. Your partner sound like a right dope. I wouldn’t be sticking round to raise a child in family like that, he’s clearly not man enough to stand up to his mother to protect his only child. She is probably still wiping his arse when ur at work. If he loves her and her environment so much, he piss off back to live with her. Did you not think about this before you had a baby with him or even discuss his mother and her role when you were pregnant?

Your dp is an arsehole, you need to look at why are you with someone like this.

I agree with PP. Your partner thinks it is ok for your one year old to stay with someone stoned/drinking for a week, and doesn't back you up on insisting his mum not smoke weed in the house. I would struggle to be with someone who couldn't back me up/protect the children on such important issues.

No way. You also don't want to risk social services getting involved in your life, if someone reported that you are leaving your child with someone like that social services will be on you like a ton of bricks for not safeguarding your child. X

@Faye1991

I have had many arguments about this but my partner always ends up arguing with me, his mum argues and swears at me when I say something I have no family and seems I’m constantly in the wrong. I’m not a bad parent and I don’t allow her to smoke in my home when I go to work and come back I can smell where she has smoked in my home. I love all my kids and I’ve been with my partner for 3 years before that was in a dv relationship for 8 Years

Sounds like you need to get shot of the pair of them.

Is this woman looking after your child while you work?

Regardless of anyone's opinion on weed, its drugs.
I wouldn't dream of letting anybody on drugs look after a 1 year old.

Why the hell would your baby ever be going to stay with her for a week anyway? Absolutely bizarre.

Absolute no to the stoner, and please rethink your partner as well. Does the druggie have any responsibilities in life, like a job?

@Faye199 - do not put up with this. Absolutely no way.

Your mil would not be allowed back in the house as she obviously smokes while you’re out, let alone the swearing at you! Why is your dh allowing this? Does he favour her over you? Looking after your baby is a huge no-no, why on earth would you want him away from you for a week? With a weed smoking boozer? No way! If your dh can’t stand up for you and your baby, you will have to, by leaving if necessary.

No, she doesn’t sound fit to be left in charge of your child for a week. Is there a reason this might happen!

Why on earth would a one year old be staying with her for a week anyway? Even if she did behave herself.

@babygroups

Why the hell would your baby ever be going to stay with her for a week anyway? Absolutely bizarre.

Exactly.