To think it’s impossible to exercise with young children?

[lineandsinker]

As the title says, really.

Mum to 13 month old DS. Prior to having DS, I went to the gym 3-4 times a week. During mat leave, I went out for daily long walks with my LO.
Returned to work 4 days a week in Sept (am a teacher) and I just can’t find the time to exercise.

I leave for work at 7.30am and usually get home at 5.30pm. DH arrives home at 6.30pm. By time DS has been fed, had a bit of time with me, been bathed and put to bed, it’s 8.30pm. Once DH and I have had dinner and cleared away / prepared for next day, it’s 9.30pm. We usually go to bed around 11pm so we’ve had a little bit of time together and also time to sit and watch the TV to relax.

On my day off, DS is an early riser. I’m usually exhausted from the working week and can’t push myself to do much more than a brisk walk outside. DH and I try to do longer walks with DS at the weekend, depending on what else we have planned but doesn’t always work out like that.

Due to COVID, I am a static teacher - have to stay at front of room. Drive 25 mins to and from work. DS is shattered and hungry from nursery so can’t take him for a walk once we get home (have tried this already).

AIBU to think it’s nigh-on impossible to exercise when you have small children? I’m really beating myself up about how little exercise I’m doing, particularly as I’m used to being quite active.

@IwishIwasyoda

No help with anything, my house is presentable. It might not be up to everyone’s standards but I’ll trade that for my exercise.

TBH the only thing I sacrifice is the evening ‘with my husband’ which most people spend watching telly or playing on their phone anyway. If you have time for an hour of tv then you have time for half an hour of exercise and half an hour of tv.

It’s really hard, especially if you have a difficult child. I used to be able to go running with ds in buggy when on mat leave, but once back at work it was really difficult. He’s not so bad now but used to wake every few hours. His bed time is 7pm but sometimes he’s still refusing to sleep getting on 9pm. He wakes between 5:30-6, so no chance of getting up before him to exercise.
I’ve started making DH take over bedtimes and watch him for a couple of hours at the weekend so I can do a few long runs etc,

YANBU. It's really hard. I've got a 6mo and a 3yo. I find it even harder now with the 3yo as I can't strap him in the pram for a walk and though he enjoys walks, his limit is about a mile before he starts trailing along at a snail's pace.

A few teachers at my school do club together and do a 20 minute circuit in the PE hall at 7am every morning, or sometimes a bit of running round the field. Covid has made it harder but it was a good way of fitting in some exercise, as I never have the energy to do it after the bedtime routine.

I'm kind of resigned to the fact that I'm never going to be as fit as I was for a while yet. A really keen runner I know said once her children were old enough she would take them to the play park and then run laps round the wider park perimeter while they played and she could keep an eye on them.

I started going out to aerobics when my baby was very young, but stopped once I went back to work. Small children, work AND exercise are difficult to fit in and I was really tired.

I started going swimming once a week when my son was 4.

I agree an exercise bike might be a good idea, link it with Zwift or watch netflix and it is a lot less boring.

And get DH to take baby at weekend so you can go to gym or for a run. Most times when mums can't get time for exercise it's because their partners don't step up or they have this romantic fantasy of "family time". Going out for a 5k run on a Sat and Sun morning doesn't encroach on family time, you've got the rest of the day.

It's so hard to find time! I know how hard this can be especially when you liked exercise before. I tried some of the jo wicks videos. Ds2 loved bumbling around/crawling on me while I did them!

I try and fit in some planks, press ups, squats etc into my day it does make a small difference

It tough, mega tough, I have 2st to shift a 20 month old that is only just sleeping better (think 8+ wakings a night) full time job, husband who works night five nights a week.

I'm hoping it will get better

Big hugs

13 months is a tricky age. And it's not the having small children. It's having small children AND working that's tricky. Not impossible, have some schedule everyone is aware of, eg evening or morning excersize. Also I try and do some floor excersize when I can and my toddler loves it. Initially a hinderence lying on me and crawling under my plank tunnels but now at 2 she joins in with excersize is very sweet. But I would love to be able to just go out for a run when I wake up like I did pre child

If it's between an extra 30 mins of sleep or 30 mins of exercise then I'm choosing the sleep every damn time.

We did very little except survive the first year after we had DD but after this we got bikes with a baby carrier and started cycling. 3 years on, we're still doing it and really enjoy our twice weekly cycles.

It's really really hard. I feel for you, I'm only just coming out the other side of it now, and my children and 4.5 and 2. I have spent the last few years being obese as a result of weight gain during pregnancy compounded by shoving quick fix carbs down my throat because I have no time and zero energy or time to exercise.

Now, I have one in school and one naps 2 hours a day so I do mine then (am a sahm so easier for me than you). They also sleep at night reliably now, so I'm not trudging through the day exhausted constantly. Living rather than existing is how I see it. And am nearly back to a healthy weight six months after I started with the healthy diet and exercising.

It will pass, honestly. One day you'll get a full nights sleep again, not be so tired, and be able to use your evenings as you like. Or it'll be easier at the weekends.

You're in the trenches now. Be kind to yourself.

It’s really, really hard. I would say that committing to something each weekend, plus a week night (leave DH to do bed time) would be a good start.

DS is 3 and I’ve been managing to fit some kind of exercise in since he was about 6 months. BUT it is essential to my mental health so I really do need to shoehorn it in, of my mood dips massively. Currently I’m getting up between 5 and 5:30 to go for a run and shower before DS wakes, and I head to work. I do a long run on a weekend morning, so it’s not a big deal if DH and DS have to cuddle in bed for half an hour before I get home and we have breakfast together. One evening a week I have running club, so DH does bed time.

DH prefers evening exercise, so he tends to do something once DS goes to bed at 7ish. He goes to badminton one evening a week, so I do bedtime alone that night.

Does your DC nap reliably? Could you squeeze something in around that on your day off?

Oh, and my lovely friend has just started doing the Joe Wicks programme- which I think is 20-30 minutes a day, from what she says. Could you find the time to do a 20 minute HIIT video from YouTube a few evenings a week, before dinner? You could always do it as a couple.

Its tough and to be honest, when you do have time to yourself it's not always top of the list (for me anyway). You could go at 6.30 and let your DH do bedtime on his own. Back by 7.30/8 for dinner. My kids are 4 yo and I still find it hard to find the time.

Agree - when I returned to work post mat leave and added a 3 hours commute there wasn't time unless I spent less time with my partner or my son.

The only way I managed gym once a week was to sacrifice one bed time with my son.

I agree it's super hard! My 13 month old is still waking up 1-2 times every night too. I get up at 6 to get her ready for nursery and start work at 8. My partner picks her up at 4 30pm and I finish work at 5. Then with cooking, bath, bedtime, washing up, prepping for work the next day I usually sit down by 8pm, and that's only if she has gone to sleep on time which is rare at the moment. I am too exhausted to go for a bloody run!

Its doable, you could go straight after work or before you eat.

I do little things like when the kettle is boiling ill do as many squats as I can whilst I'm waiting...or do lunges to mix it up.

I have kettlebell St home so easy to do even quick 10 mins whilst pasta is on to boil etc.

I'm counting lifting and carrying a 13 month old and equivalent to a weight lifting session. So although you don't get conventional exercise, you burn way more calories than if you had the same schedule pre children.

Youngest is 5 and it's only now I have actual time. Yanbu at all but I'd say there's a lot of classes on YouTube as alternatives to having to leave the house for the amount of time it takes to get to the gym exercise and get home

I don’t have any advice but just wanted to say I’m finding it hard too. It was fine when I was on mat leave - long walks with sling, runs with buggy, etc - but now I’m back at work it’s so so hard.

Everything comes at the price of something else - time with my son, time with my DH, household chores, food shopping, healthy cooking, sleep.

I’ve been taking the dog out for a run after my son’s in bed but that’s not so easy now it’s dark.

I’m so heartened by other people on the thread with older children saying they managed to exercise again eventually!

I wouldn’t have prioritised exercise at all until I recently noticed the difference it makes to my MH. Like I’m a different person for a couple of days after I’ve had a run. I can handle life. So now it’s non-negotiable. I plan my weeks around when I’ll be able to leave my DH with 3 under 5 (including a BFing 1yr old velcro baby) and sneak off for a run. But I never would have done that until it became a need, rather than just a want. So yanbu, it’s basically impossible, til your life becomes impossible without it

Its really hard. Be both try to do 3/4 excercise seasions a week though.

We do this by tag teaming - we both get back from work about 5.30/6 then 1 will take toddler and get him fed while the other goes for a run or bike for 40-50 min.

The excerciser will then come back and put the toddler to bed while the other either also does some excercise or makes tea or just has a bit of a sit.
We then eat together about 8ish
We then eat together

Weekends we will both do an hour each at some point in the day.

Sometimes it doesnt work and you cant be arsed, also I havent been to the gym for ages because it takes too much time, being able to do something straight out of the door like a run feels more time efficient.

The only way to go it is if you both work as a team and accept sometimes it doesnt work out also it depends on wether you really want to prioritise it.

It is really hard, when mine were small I did home workouts but you have to be very self motivated with those. Could you alternate evenings with DH? Exercise conversely does give you more energy but don’t beat yourself up, fit small bits in as and when you can.

Solo parent to twin toddlers. No family/support, so zero chance of joining a gym, but I could do stuff from home...if I wanted to. Before the girls, I did weightlifting, was very active etc etc, but it ceased to be a priority, then was no longer feasible. Nowadays, my daughters, work commitments and good friends are my priority; as is sleep. I walk a lot, but I'm not fit in the sense that I used to be. If you really want to exercise, you'll make the time; I, personally, don't!

Yup it is hard and I don’t know many (any off the top of my head) who manage it. I’ve just bought a bike with a kids seat so that I can at least cycle about a few times a week. I live close enough to work to cycle in and plan to cycle to the park/shops sometimes too. I’ve never been a gym person myself but I’ve always exercised and not being able to do anything more than walking for the last 1.5 years hasn’t been great.
The only other thing I have tried is doing yoga in the evenings at home, but to be honest I just don’t have the discipline to do it regularly enough.

I cannot recommend The Body Coach workouts enough, there is so many free ones to choose from. I started doing them during lockdown & they helped me lose 8lbs (also not going to soft play & having coffee & cake helped )
I have a 4 year old & 1 year old & am normally exhausted by the time they’re in bed, but I tell myself it’s only 20 minutes out of my day & I’ll still have time to watch tv for an hour & chill afterwards. There’s even 10 & 15 minute videos so if I really can’t be bothered I’ll do one of them & normally I’ll then have perked up so I’ll add one of the abs workout on afterwards. Don’t get me wrong, there’s weeks when I just really can’t be bothered so I don’t do any. But I try do 2-3 a week, or a 30 minute run, & I just started back at the gym this morning. Again I told myself it’s only 1 hour out of the day, I’ll get home & showered then we’ve still got the rest of the day to do something as a family.
I think it’s more finding the motivation rather than finding the time. 20-30 minutes is nothing out of the day, but finding that initial energy to do something can be tough. I also tell myself, in the words of Nike, just do it!