To think it’s impossible to exercise with young children?

[lineandsinker]

As the title says, really.

Mum to 13 month old DS. Prior to having DS, I went to the gym 3-4 times a week. During mat leave, I went out for daily long walks with my LO.
Returned to work 4 days a week in Sept (am a teacher) and I just can’t find the time to exercise.

I leave for work at 7.30am and usually get home at 5.30pm. DH arrives home at 6.30pm. By time DS has been fed, had a bit of time with me, been bathed and put to bed, it’s 8.30pm. Once DH and I have had dinner and cleared away / prepared for next day, it’s 9.30pm. We usually go to bed around 11pm so we’ve had a little bit of time together and also time to sit and watch the TV to relax.

On my day off, DS is an early riser. I’m usually exhausted from the working week and can’t push myself to do much more than a brisk walk outside. DH and I try to do longer walks with DS at the weekend, depending on what else we have planned but doesn’t always work out like that.

Due to COVID, I am a static teacher - have to stay at front of room. Drive 25 mins to and from work. DS is shattered and hungry from nursery so can’t take him for a walk once we get home (have tried this already).

AIBU to think it’s nigh-on impossible to exercise when you have small children? I’m really beating myself up about how little exercise I’m doing, particularly as I’m used to being quite active.

YANBU! It’s fucking hard.

It's hard but doable!

I don't get much time with my husband as we work opposite shifts, so us spending time together usually involves me doing aerial yoga, skipping or hula hooping while watching a film together.

I also have quite a lot of exercise equipment at home so often do late night exercise at home. And I do one exercise class at the weekend when my husband has the children.

I appreciate it's not the same as the gym, and it's shit having to do it late night or while spending time with your partner. It's the only way I've managed so far. I had to find a way as my mental health was suffering without

It’s do-able. Can your DH take an evening so you can head to the gym?

Right now there’s shed loads online to do too

It's hard to get to the gym or even to leave the house so I do stuff at home.

Found this exercise programme https://ourparks.org.uk/couch-to-fitness

Which is free, 30 minute videos so just need to find a spare 30 mins in the living room. My DD is 6 and finds it fun to join in or just sit, point and laugh

It's really tough. I had a similar schedule to you when my daughter was young, and broken nights plus a stressful full time job meant I was exhausted. I was at the gym regularly from my teens until my pregnancy and really missed it when I couldn't go. My daughter is now six and I am finally managing regular exercise again - in what would have been my commuting time pre-lockdown.

I don’t think it’s impossible but I think you have to really prioritise it.

I have small kids, one who doesn’t sleep but I get up at 5.30am and go to a gym class 3-4 mornings a week and squeeze in a run at the weekend while DH has kids. He also runs at the weekend and runs a few evenings in the week.

I go to bed at 9pm in the week but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. I do it because when I am exercising, in spite of the lack of sleep, I feel a million times better, have more energy and tend to eat better. It’s the only alone time I get all week too which is a bonus. I’m also a teacher and am at work 8-4ish M-F.

It’s not impossible and not trying to be smug about it but I think thinking its impossible is part of the issue.

It is difficult but it depends what you want to prioritise. It sounds like you are prioritising family time which isn’t necessarily the wrong answer. But there are times in your week you could definitely prioritise exercise.

It sounds like you and DH both do bath and bedtime? If you really wanted to exercise you would leave it to DH a couple of nights a week and either head to the gym, go for a run or do a workout at home. Yes it means less time with DC but that’s the decision you have to make. From the times you’ve given you could do an hour from 6.30pm and still out DC to bed?

I’m not back at work yet from mat leave but have minimal time during the day once I’ve factored in school runs, entertaining the baby and general stuff i need to get done during the day. 3 nights a week I do a YouTube workout after the kids are in bed (8ish at the earliest, usually later). DH sometimes gets our dinner ready whilst I do this or I will after if he’s working late. Yes this means we eat very late. I try and do buggyfit once or twice a week. Could you find a class for your day off?

Weekend is more difficult at the moment as I’m not going back to the gym yet and don’t fancy working out late evening on the weekend. In the summer I would use the garden. The best I manage at the moment is a YouTube workout when the baby is sleeping (if I’m very lucky!) and DH is out with our eldest. It’s been about 4 weeks since that worked out.

I really don’t see why you can’t do anything on the weekend, particularly with only one child to look after between the two of you.

I get up at 5.30am when my husband is home to run before work , or use my lunch break and also on days off I run with a buggy.

Honestly, I found the years with very small children the ones when I was best at sticking to an exercise plan. Going out to a class or for a run was the only time I got to myself. I am much less motivated now they are older and I can sit down with a cup of tea or have a lie in. It helped that I had mum friends who were going to the same classes so it was a social thing as well. It’s also trickier now they’re bigger as their activities take up a lot of the weekend.
If you want to make time for exercise, one of you looks after the dc while the other does exercise. An hour or so a couple of times a week should be fine for one parent to hold the fort alone in the evening and makes a real difference. I think it’s easier to stick to if you have to go out or if you have an online class booked rather than saying you will do a dvd (in my case anyway!)

I’d also add some children are easier than others to look after. One of mine is like an excitable puppy on steroids- always onto the next thing, constantly on the go, doesn’t shut up etc. One of my friend’s children has always been very sedate and considered. She could get a yoga dvd on and her little girl would do puzzles or colouring for an hour without disturbing her. She was totally shocked when she first had mine for a play date and looked totally frazzled when I picked her up. When I had hers, it was so easy.

I feel your pain OP. I am a teacher with 2 year old and pregnant with my second. Since returning to work when my first was 1 I have really struggled. During maternity leave I was a member of a gym with a crèche that was fab but I changed when I went back to work and now since Covid never go. Just riding my contract out! During lockdown I managed to do 30 mins every morning. I already get up at 5.15am for work so no early time. Weekend was doing ok but now Covid has happened can’t get on classes anyway!!!
No solution but agreeing wholeheartedly. Home workouts are my only chance!!!

I used to use weekend mornings for a class/ long run and try to shoehorn something like a short run/ shred DVD in early or late.

I took up C25k because I could do it at any random time, usually later than 10pm after the cluster feeds.

It's not impossible, but not easy if you don't prioritise it.
For me weekends are the easiest time, it's not hard to carve out one hour on Saturday and Sunday if your partner is around as your time to exercise.
I usually do that, plus one evening midweek-again it's not necessarily an ideal time- usually 830 when i'd much preferred to be watching TV, but one week sat evening out of 5 is very doable if you commit to it. The rest of the week I just squeeze in 15 minutes walks here and there (e.g. part of commute or walk to shop after work to get milk etc)

If poss, cycle to work and use stairs instead of lifts and escalators

You're correct op...I was a wohm with a toddler and a full time job. I had no time. I mean I could have woken up at 5am and gone for a run if I was that type of person...sod that

Do you both have to do the evening routine??
Once your DH gets in hand baby over and go to the gym! If he gets in at 6.30 you could spend an hour at the gym or class and then be home before bedtime.

Yes there is time - when mine 13 months they were in bed by 7pm although I worked later so it was DH doing bedtime - 8.30 sounds like a late bedtime. If you want to make exercise a priority it sounds like you’ve got a lot of dead time in the evening which you could easily utilise. I was never one for getting up at 5am - seems crazy and risk of waking the little ones. Mine are now older and not in bed til 8 Which makes it much harder!

If you can hand over DC to DH one night a week, and go for a 30 min jog, plus carve out one or two 30-60 min slots at the weekend, then you couid make a real difference.

Not just fitness, getting out is good for your wider wellbeing, and you'll sleep better

And really seek out active things to do during half terms and the holidays

The children are an added issue, but I’m working full time as a teacher at the moment and I can’t even manage a walk most days. Even weekend days. It’s utterly, utterly exhausting at the moment.

Sorry, meant to say my DDis an adult and has her own home. I live alone. No responsibilities to anyone but me. And I still can’t find even 20 mins when I’m free AND have energy.

I think it also depends how easy your toddler is. If bedtime is a struggle or long-winded, or if they still wake a few times, it's hard to get the motivation to workout after bedtime or early in the morning.

Yes, you could fit it in but it depends how much you want to prioritise it over other things like family or couple time. There's no shame in saying that's more important to you right now.

I agree OP, and to be honest if there's a bit of time at the weekend when DH and I are both not working or cleaning the house or tackling the garden or trying to fit in the friends and family we used to have so much time for and now see rarely, I want to spend it with my husband and my child, not playing tag with DS while we alternate gym sessions.

My Mum managed to do it at home with tiny me trying to join in It depends on the children and the circumstances I suppose.

We got a cargo bike so that I could use that instead of a car when possible - then I was getting exercise while with DD. Others have suggested a running buggy - same idea, doing exercise while you look after DS.

It is hard. I have two and really really have to work hard to get exercise in.

The only way we manage it is one of us doing bath and bedtime while the other gets to exercise. There are tonnes half hour exercise classes on YouTube. It’s not ideal but it’s better than nowt!