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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s no one else’s business

33 replies

Voolou · 10/10/2020 18:22

if I choose to give up my bedroom so that my dc don’t have to share. So we moved into a council property last month after probate renting for years. Me and dh were made up to get the house even though it did need a degree of work to make it decent. We decided to give up our bedroom so that our ds’s don’t have to share. Eldest ds is a teenager and youngest ds is 10 and has special needs. They had previously shared a bedroom but our eldest ds didn’t get a moments peace and we decide it wasn’t fair. So me and dh have moved into the dining room which we are happy with. But my family have had a few things to say on the matter. They think I’m spoiling my dc and ridiculous for giving eldest ds our bedroom. But I think due to circumstances we have made the best decision. Both me and ds are one of 4 children and we both are to share with our siblings which we hated as we had no privacy what so ever. I admit that I made a snide comment saying I want better for my dc and that they didn’t ask tone born, we decided to have them, so why shouldn’t we do what we feel is best for them. I know at the end of the day it’s our decision but I’m sick of being questioned and made to tee like I’m stupid for being willing to give up our room. But my dc come first. They always have an always will. So why do people have a problem?

OP posts:
Sunnydaysstillhere · 10/10/2020 18:26

Because the people you have told are too selfish? They couldn't do it
..
I had the dining room for a year when I left exh. Wanted dc to have their own space. Worked fine for us.
Your dc, your choices.
I have always had the box room with a double bed wedged in anyway!!

NorthernBirdAtHeart · 10/10/2020 18:26

Ignore them. I would do the same.

AdoptAdaptImprove · 10/10/2020 18:28

You’ve done just the right thing to suit your family, and are showing great regard for the needs of your children. That’s just what parents should do! Cut off any future conversation with family if they broach the subject again; enjoy making your bedroom beautiful; and get on with your lives. It’s really nobody’s business where you sleep. Unless they’re offering to buy you a three-bed, in which case I’d bite their hands off.

GazingAndGrazing · 10/10/2020 18:29

Ignore them. Am I right in thinking you have converted one room in to a downstairs bedroom for yourself not just a camp bed set up in the room used to eat in?

Soubriquet · 10/10/2020 18:30

I would do the exact same thing if I had the space

katy1213 · 10/10/2020 18:32

Of course it's nobody's business. Why would you even mention your sleeping arrangements to them? Anyway, it's no longer a dining room, is it - it's a downstairs bedroom.

Original poster
Voolou · 10/10/2020 18:32

Hi. Yes we have a separate dining room off the living room. It’s warm cosy and means we get some privacy so I don’t see what you he problem is.

OP posts:
toffeekiwi · 10/10/2020 18:33

I did something similar that the family objected to like yours are, I kept my bedroom but made the dining room into a teenage den for the one who had the box room so they had extra space.

Original poster
Voolou · 10/10/2020 18:34

I didn’t really talk about it much. But family have obviously been to visit (separately) since we moved and i’d happened to leave the bedroom/dining room door open so they seen for themselves.

OP posts:
VinylDetective · 10/10/2020 18:35

There isn’t a problem. Tell them to mind their own business.

OnlyJudyCanJudgeMee · 10/10/2020 18:37

My DSis has one child and gave them biggest bedroom, while parents sleep in the medium-sized one. I think it is good idea, but some family members think Dc shouldn't have bigger bedroom.
I am absolutely with you on your division of your house, OP. It seems fine.

amusedtodeath1 · 10/10/2020 18:41

A room is a room, put a bed in it it's a bedroom, but a dining table in and it's a dining room.

Take no notice, it may not be conventional but so what? It works for your family, that's the only thing that matters.

StarCat2020 · 10/10/2020 18:44

They sound pathetic, ignore them

PanamaPattie · 10/10/2020 18:52

A room is a room. Your room with your bed in it is a bedroom. If you were to put a desk and a bookcase in it - it would be a study. I don't see the issue. Use your living space to suit the needs of your family.

Justwingingmotherhood · 10/10/2020 18:52

I would of 100% done the same thing.

PanamaPattie · 10/10/2020 18:54

@amusedtodeath1 - cross post - my typing is too slow!

funinthesun19 · 10/10/2020 18:56

I plan on doing the same after Christmas. (I’d do it before, but it’s a big cost to redecorate and buy new furniture, and Christmas is eating up all of my spare money right now)

I’ve had negative comments from my parents about my plans, but I know it’s the right thing to do. I don’t mind sleeping downstairs at all.

girlicorne · 10/10/2020 18:57

We moved a couple of years ago it was unplanned and the kids were really upset as we had been in our last house 9 years and it had been all they had known. To cushion the blow we gave them the big double bedrooms and we have a tiny box room that just fits our bed in. Like you I put my kids first and want them to be happy. It’s no one else’s business!

Sunnydaysstillhere · 10/10/2020 18:57

Anyone who comments ask them with a straight face are they offering to buy you a bigger house?....

Givemeabreak88 · 10/10/2020 18:57

My mum was Like this over the fact I gave my kids the bigger room! My thoughts were that they were sharing so with two in a room they should have the bigger room but I never heard the end of it from my mum she was disgusted 😂

changednamealways · 10/10/2020 18:59

You sound like wonderful selfless parents

S111n20 · 10/10/2020 19:10

I think it’s a great idea. Tell them to sod off.

PlanDeRaccordement · 10/10/2020 19:16

Ignore them. We did something similar. Having 4 DCs and in a 4 bedroom home, we turned one of the 2 downstairs reception rooms into a bedroom for our eldest DC. We didn’t think it fair for two to have to share and two to get their own rooms.

We don’t have a dining room either. We have an eat in kitchen. Dining rooms are pretty useless in my opinion. So I think you did the right thing for your family to make the house a nice home for them.

WinifredSanderson · 10/10/2020 19:18

I did exactly this when we left my exh as I thought it would be lovely for my DC to finally have their own spaces. No ones business but yours.

Smallereveryday · 10/10/2020 19:19

We have 7 kids between us . (3 mine and 4 DH's.) we have a 4 bed house with dining room. DH eldest 2 decided they had had enough of court fights and general bad mouthing about DH .. and voted with their feet to live with us full time.. we werenof course thrilled... and converted dining room into their shared bedroom (14 &16) .. then as soon as my eldest went to Uni , one moved into her room until holidays.. worked perfectly as we had enough room to eat in kitchen or laps.

DH youngest two were in out bed and we were on sofa bed until kids got to the point that they had sleep overs /moved out/went to Uni... Dining room was the saviour because 3 years later the younger 2 moved in.. rinse and repeat..