Aibu - joint presents for Xmas and birthday

[Mothertocrazy91]

Hi wondering who is being unreasonable here !

• daughters birthday is within a few days of Xmas. Me and her dad are split up and I care for her alone ( he sees her maybe 3 times a year ) including her birthday.

He normally asks me for things she wants ( I provide most of the presents and treats / day our for birthday or party etc )

However it’s been bugging me for a few years that out of the stuff I list for him that she likes he genuinely picks one and gives it to her for both Xmas and birthday.

It really annoys me - he is a single guy living with parents with a full time job I just don’t see why he can’t get her a separate gift for both !

Don’t get me wrong other people do but I can’t say anything to them as we are thankful for the gift but he is her daughter.

When he gives it ask sweetly, "Is it for her birthday or for Christmas?"

hes a deadbeat dad... mine did the same, 2 visits a year and a joint gift in xmas paper (never even asked for likes just got random non age appropriate stuff usually) and an attitude that he was the best dad ever and I should be greatful/honored

your not unreasonable hes an ass but honestly I learn in my 30+ years to just accept it because they never change and if you expect more you only hurt yourself (I'm speaking as a child but if parents drag the fight out it keeps you thinking about it) for what it is, you DD will see him for what he is on her own and you dont need to protect her from that all you have to do is be a good parent and she will always know she has you and doesnt need him

I dunno, when I was a teen I often got joint birthday and Christmas presents and my birthday is in November! It was if I wanted something more expensive than my parents were up for spending though. My brother did the same and his birthday is October 😂

That said it was our choice and we knew the deal. We’d also get a small “on the day” Xmas present.

On the other hand it sounds like your ex is getting quite small presents in the first place, and he sounds quite mean overall.