Ever feel uncomfortable?

[Autumnlight78]

Do you ever feel uncomfortable in your partner’s presence?
I’ve been feeling this more and more..I actually feel happier and more ‘Comfortable‘ when it’s just me and my toddler Dd.
Starting to dread weekends and eating out, with nothing much to say or a tense atmosphere..makes me end up feeling so low inside.
Do ever of you honestly feel like this ever?

*Any of you

No, I don’t. And I wouldn’t stay with someone who made me feel like this.

Why on earth would you? You must know you deserve better?

No. Never. What is it that makes you uncomfortable?

No, never. Does your partner frighten you?

Is he the father of your child, @Autumnlight78? Do you have to see him?

Can you put your finger on why there is a tense atmosphere?

Eh, no. What makes you feel this way?

Never. The exact opposite. But with my ex? Definitely.

Yes, i have. When i was with my exH, I frequently felt like this. Its part of the reason he's an ex. I have never felt like that with any subsequent boyfriend or with my current partner.

No, I never feel more comfortable than when it's just DH and I.

No, definitely not frightened. I guess it’s just ‘Awkward’ a lot of the time, not always, but a lot. He’s the father of my Dd, we’ve been together a long long time, since we were teenagers..which I guess makes it stranger how it can feel so awkward?
Today for example, nice walk out, sat with Dd at a table waiting for drinks to come, he asks what’s wrong with me, I say that nothings wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️I’m just sat here, he says I look miserable, I say again that there’s nothing wrong I’m just sat here trying to relax..it’s just my face, must be!
My mood then plummets straightaway and we sit in silence, aside from chatting to Dd to compensate for the silence.
It shouldn’t be like this, should it..

I'm sorry I don't think this is normal, I only ever feel complete when I'm with DH and DC (even though he drives me mad sometimes). I think you need to revaluate this relationship x

Christ yes. Often, but nowhere near all the time.

Usually when there is an argument brewing. But then it passes, and we’re back to giggling at wonderfully dumb in-jokes, as if we were a couple of teenagers.

I think every relationship has moments, sometimes prolonged moments, of tension. But the question is more about whether they balance out.

No it shouldn’t be like that. Do you live together?

It’s so, so common for teen relationships to fizzle out. You’re not the person you were then. And that’s ok!

Life is too short for awkward silences with your life partner.

Don't stay, our emotions are here to indicate if we are on the right path or not. You are clearly on the wrong path by being with him. I had one like that, I hated family days, holidays and weekends because he was always there being 'tense'. I binned him and now look forward to holidays family days and weekends.

Never. Why would you be with someone who made you feel uncomfortable?

All the time OP. I avoid being home with my partner alone. It is not a good sign and definitely contributes to MH issues. Try and figure out why asap, then tackle it if you can.

@Keepithidden

All the time OP. I avoid being home with my partner alone. It is not a good sign and definitely contributes to MH issues. Try and figure out why asap, then tackle it if you can.

This makes me sad for you. Why don’t you leave?

@Autumnlight78

No, definitely not frightened. I guess it’s just ‘Awkward’ a lot of the time, not always, but a lot. He’s the father of my Dd, we’ve been together a long long time, since we were teenagers..which I guess makes it stranger how it can feel so awkward? Today for example, nice walk out, sat with Dd at a table waiting for drinks to come, he asks what’s wrong with me, I say that nothings wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️I’m just sat here, he says I look miserable, I say again that there’s nothing wrong I’m just sat here trying to relax..it’s just my face, must be! My mood then plummets straightaway and we sit in silence, aside from chatting to Dd to compensate for the silence. It shouldn’t be like this, should it..

I could have written that myself, all of it 😅. Quite spooky.

Honestly, I think it’s just a case of occasionally needing to reconnect. DH and I often read too much into each other’s comments and body language, meaning we each think the other is in a bad mood and then it spirals.

But if we both become aware of it and make an effort to emotionally reconnect, then it soon sorts out.

(But this is MN, and the most common response is always “leave the bastard”)

@Keepithidden That’s what I try to do too a lot of the time, but my daughter obviously loves us being together and that family time. I could cry for her, I feel so fake.
During the week it’s ok as he’s at work, then home and only a couple of hours to bed, but I should look forward to the weekends..it feels so lonely at times..

No, definitely not. DH often works long hours and I love it when he is home for any length of time. A whole weekend together is bliss.

We have been married 40 years and I have never felt that way

@TheLastStarfighter

(But this is MN, and the most common response is always “leave the bastard”)

Don’t be ridiculous. OP hasn’t said this is recent or a blip or anything like it.

@OhCaptain actually she has “feeling it more and more” and “starting to feel” both imply this is a recent thing. But I am sure OP can answer for herself.

I’m feeling it more and more, but, it has been on and off like this for a long time really. It goes through periods of being okay, then periods when I feel like we barely know each other or are on the same wavelength anymore.
I’m really envious of all of you who never experience it and feel the most comfortable ‘With’ your partner.