To share the stupidest thing I have ever heard

[Sparklfairy]

My friend is away in a country that a few days into her holiday brought in quarantine restrictions upon returning to the UK. No big deal to her, she can wfh and organise deliveries etc.

She just told me she was chatting around the pool and people are confused about when quarantine actually 'starts'. Most have convinced themselves it's the day after you land 'to give them time to go shopping and get food and everything ready and stuff'.

So you're quarantined, but you have a magical window of time where you can get supplies and merrily skip round the supermarket infecting everyone saying 'Oh, I'm not in quarantine until tomorrow'.

I'm not sure if they're spectacularly thick or just so entitled they've twisted the rules to suit themselves. I don't normally get annoyed about CV or what other people do but really!?

My very favourite is my friend that thought narwahls were mythical beasts, like unicorns. I LOVE that. I don't think it quite fits the bill of stupid. Beautifully ignorant. She's extremely intelligent.

@CauliflowerBalti I thought that until a few years ago when I saw them on a David Attenborough programme 😳😳😳

@CauliflowerBalti

My very favourite is my friend that thought narwahls were mythical beasts, like unicorns. I LOVE that. I don't think it quite fits the bill of stupid. Beautifully ignorant. She's extremely intelligent.

I only realised about 5 years ago, aged 30ish that they were real

@Butterer. All trained nurses know the difference between type 1 and type 2 diabetes. Do you?

@thismeansnothing

It's the moment you land.

They should be pointed towards the news stories where people in the IOM have been put in prison for not going strait home when getting back to the island and stopping to get petrol/food on the way home.

You need to look at the gov website. It clearly explains that stopping for food is permitted. Some people have care needs/autistic children who will only eat certain things. Don't be so ignorant

@rorosemary

My DH has a not-so-bright family member that once asked at dinner what chicken was made of. I wish he (or I) was joking, but it's really true.

PLEASE tell me someone explained it to him?! 🙏🏻

I know someone who is a teacher at a secondary school (around 1200 children). This person came from Spain (after spending all the school summer holidays there) just a few days before school started in September and said ‘oh, since I traveled back to the UK by bus and I didn’t do much in Spain I don’t need to quarantine’. I’m still outraged every time I think about it!

@itchyfinger

Our school isn't letting siblings do joint school photos this year because it means mixing bubbles. Like the siblings dont already live together and travel into school together

I think it's you who isn't quite getting it here..... ☺️

Utterly thick. Of course it's when you land

A woman was talking about her hamster, and how she couldn’t work out if it was male or female.

Her friend advised that if it laid eggs it was
Female, and if it didn’t it was male.

Unfortunately I was the idiot friend, I was a bit tipsy and had birds in mind rather than hamsters

American visitor to our office in England: "Did you guys get much radiation from the bomb in Grenoble?"

After much thought we worked out she meant fallout from the nuclear meltdown in Chernobyl.

@DoubleHelix79 and @MairzyDoats

DH has an App. on his phone that takes an ECG which he can then mail directly on to his cardiologist.

@whydoicomehere

I’ve got one better - a librarian who was referring to George Eliot as “he” and “him”. A librarian in Warwickshire!!

If it was someone working in a library then it's unlikely they were actually a librarian. Libraries are usually staffed by library assistants, an unqualified role probably paying around £10ph or by volunteers.

Exactly ! Some of these assumptions about 'librarians' could probably come under stupid comments !

I used to work as a library assistant , and yes I've heard of George Elliot,'Evelyn Waugh but I couldn't tell you what they wrote or when they wrote it, nor could I tell you their backgrounds .

This is certainly not one of the qualifications of working in a library . We did a test on basic numeracy and English , including a test that we would understand the library filing system. In interview we were asked about books that we read ; the fact that I read contemporary/ bestseller fiction went down just fine.

@ReceptacleForTheRespectable Re. compass poles reversing, you know which piece of classic literature immediately sprang to mind: Jules Verne's Journey to the Centre of the Earth, where exactly that happened, to the fury of Professor Lidenbrock.

A parent thought that "pin the tail on the donkey" was a very easy game, if all you had to do was pin the tail on the donkey. You could understand a child not realising that they have to be blindfolded, but a parent...

On the subject of identical twins and people who think they’re cleverer than they are, in one of John Sutherland’s essays about Shakespeare he says that of course it makes no sense that Viola and Cesario in Twelfth Night get mistaken for each other because “opposite sex twins are never identical”. He’s obviously learned that as a fact but not understood that “identical” in this case is a purely technical term and that nothing prevents fraternal twins looking very similar.

I've just remembered another one. When I was doing my professional training, a friend doing the same was struggling with sorting out her new flat that her mother had bought for her. I went over to help and she was baffled that there was no WIFI connection on her laptop and phone. I asked it she had called an ISP to open an account. She looked at me blankly and said no. I said have you called BT to get the phone line connected yet? Nope.

Had someone patiently “explain” to me that gross was pronounced like cross because they’re spelled the same.

Working in a school abroad a few years ago, one of the dads from England kept asking me how i felt about brexit..he and everyone knew I was Irish so I shrugged and said it wont actually effect me.

A few days later he asked again and said was I not worried I wouldn't be allowed to continue working in the country we were in...I said no again as I'm Irish.

He then said...and I kid you not..
"oh are the islands not included in it? Is it just the mainland that Brexit applies to ?"

That's actually the second time in my life an English person couldn't understand that the republic of Ireland is not in the uk and is a separate country

Then another time an English person told me that the Irish language doesn't actually exist...its just words we made up years ago because we couldn't grasp the English language 🤣 wtf.

@pepsirolla

I work in a beauty department, caught a woman putting a lipstick tester directly onto her lips having unsealed the tester by removing the "not a tester" seal and looking into a mirror with a large " Do not use the testers, please ask for assistance" sign on it We had to bin it . She said didn't realise would be a problem! Not advisable in normal times, cold sores etc but in the middle of a pandemic no cure for stupid I guess

Might be better to have signs saying "if you break the seal you must buy it and pay for it" same as the china shops used to say "if you break it, you pay for it"

I'm buying a house & I was shown round a property by one of those eager & patronising young estate agents who talks in slogans, like Boris Johnson. He showed me the garden & said, "It's west facing, so you'll get the sun in the morning".

My cousins wife corrected me in public on the spelling of my own child's name. Like I would get that wrong after 12 years. It's the classic spelling of a top ten name.

I think this was in the 1970s, as I was quite little, but I remember it clearly.

My recently married aunt and uncle announced they were emigrating to South Africa. In those days, apartheid was a major item on the news just about every day. So our whole family took a dim view of this plan, but no-one felt talking to my aunt and uncle about it would change their minds.

After several months of excitedly planning and preparing, they suddenly announced it was all off. Next time they came to visit, my Mum asked what had made them change their minds. My aunt said some-one had told her (I remember these exact words) that “in South Africa, the white people are really really nasty to the black people.”

At least her heart was in the right place, once she knew.

Snog 🤣 hilarious.

What did you say back to her ?