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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to see family from local lockdown areas

43 replies

JosieP91 · 10/10/2020 10:48

My husband's family are wanting to come and visit us in a couple of weeks. They have had a hotel booked for months apparently. But they are currently in a local lockdown area and are telling DH they aren't and are allowed to visitConfused

I have tried telling DH they aren't allowed and are lying about it but he is convinced they wouldn't do that and I am mistaken...also it seems like I'm causing trouble on purpose because I am not the biggest fan of these people but that is honestly not the issue here.

The fact they are lying to us about it infuriates me plus we have a small baby so I am not comfortable putting her at risk if they are from such a high risk area and clearly aren't taking the rules seriously.

DH is about to go away for a while for work so I can understand them wanting to see him before hw goes but I am not at all comfortable breaking the rules for this.

AIBU to refuse to let them to come?

OP posts:
The3Ls · 10/10/2020 10:53

I am in a local lockdown area. I would be allowed to stay in a hotel (just my household) then meet up with you +not my household) as long as outside or in. "covid safe" venue and two meters apart. They may not be lying. Also my city is very high but my actual area covid is very low. I'm less than a km from a boarder to an area that is not of concern at all

sirfredfredgeorge · 10/10/2020 10:55

What area has a lockdown that bans travel to hotels as a household and then places higher restrictions on them than locals, I do not know of any places in England with such.

HugeAckmansWife · 10/10/2020 10:55

there are different rules in different areas and they may change on Monday anyway. The actual risk to your baby is minute and no-one is actually going to come and arrest you or them if you do it. I'm very very uneasy about making it illegal for private citizens to see their own families. Just because someone lives in a "higher risk" area does not automatically mean they personally are higher risk. Are they mixing with lots of people? Going out a lot? Someone in Cornwall with very few cases could be doing this and be much higher risk than someone who has been mostly staying home in a lockdown area. In short, make your own choice but don't do it or not because of this bonkers farce of "rules" that are being arbitrarily brought in with no consistency or logic.

Original poster
JosieP91 · 10/10/2020 10:56

Ah ok. Well they are expecting to come to our house but if I tell them we can only meet outside then that is allowed?

OP posts:
wishing3 · 10/10/2020 10:57

I guess it’s quite easy to just check the exact details for that area, then if you’re right just screenshot it and send it to DH/his family saying ‘oh no! Looks like the visit is off the table til after your local lockdown.’ Or if it is allowed and you are not comfortable because of baby then don’t feel pressured.

Gancanny · 10/10/2020 10:57

I'm in a local lockdown area and we can still travel within the UK or abroad, we have to follow any rules in the area we visit and be aware of the self-isolation rules when travelling to and from certain countries but other than that there are no restrictions in movement. They wouldn't be breaking the rules by visiting if the rules in your area allow more than one household to meet.

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 10/10/2020 11:15

What is the point of local lockdowns if people can still travel outside their area? Surely that just means its spreading further?

Cocomarine · 10/10/2020 11:19

You think they’re lying, and he thinks you’re mistaken.
Why on earth have you not just googled the rules for their area? They’re feeling available online 🤷🏻‍♀️
I’d be pretty pissed off with you accusing my relatives of lying.

Mooseflake · 10/10/2020 11:19

Why don't you just google the actual government advice, and show it to your DH, rather than relying on people's biased interpretations?

Original poster
JosieP91 · 10/10/2020 11:22

Well I was hoping for the actual rules not biased opinions.
I have googled it and it says they are in lockdown which is why I am confused as to what to do.

OP posts:
Elieza · 10/10/2020 11:31

Say to DH ‘let’s google the situation to see what the facts are about lockdowns and travel, visits etc’ and look together.

That way he can ‘find’ the answers himself and appreciate that there are rules his family must follow. Look the rules up too and perhaps write them down so you have a reference document.

I’d he sees the truth in black and white on the government website he can’t say you’re telling porkies. And the notes you take together will be a reference doc you can stick under his nose if they have any further telephone conversations about it so he has the facts to hand.

Check regularly as guidance can change.

I’d be following the rules to the letter. And telling him to do the same.

This virus killed my colleague who was only a stone overweight, middle aged with no underlying conditions. You just can’t tell what symptomless person has it or how badly it will affect you and yours if you get it.

Florencex · 10/10/2020 11:35

There are different rules for different areas. Local lockdown does not necessarily mean they have to stay in the area. They are quite possibly allowed to travel and stay in a hotel.

If their specific local lockdown allowS travel, they should only meet up with people in covid secure settings and need to socially distance. So you could not for example share a table in a restaurant, but you could have separate tables in the restaurant. They definitely should not be coming to your house if they are in local lockdown, no local lockdown grants that much freedom, they really might as well not bother if that was allowed.

yellowmaoampinball · 10/10/2020 11:36

It's not enough to just Google and see they're in lockdown op - different areas have different rules. I'm in a local lockdown area in Wales and wouldn't be allowed to leave and stay in a hotel but parts of England may be different.

TheDuchessofMalfy · 10/10/2020 11:39

Yeah I think it depends. I think it’s only welsh lockdown areas where you can’t leave the area - are they in Wales? In England I think you can and can stay in a hotel, not sure about Scotland and NI.

But it think it’s fine to say you’re only comfortable meeting outdoors.

NameChange84 · 10/10/2020 11:40

I’m in Greater Manchester and we’ve been locked down for ages, people are still going on U.K. breaks and holidays abroad - they are allowed to. I think there are or were some parts of Wales (very few) where a town was locked down and no one allowed in or out but that’s all I’ve heard.

Unless they are from there, they are allowed to travel, stay in hotels etc.

If YOU are in a local lockdown then you can’t meet anyone in your home or garden. Elsewhere you can if it’s 6 or less. Feel free to say you are only happy meeting outdoors, socially distanced etc.

They really aren’t doing anything illegal though.

GreyishDays · 10/10/2020 11:40

In Scotland we can’t leave our health board area in one of the 5 high ones. Except for a booked holiday I think!

Cocomarine · 10/10/2020 11:41

But if you’ve googled, you know the rules. Why would you trust someone on here to be more accurate than that? Confused

ProudAuntie76 · 10/10/2020 11:42

Just tell us where they are from and we can help.

It’s only some of Wales that we can’t leave or visit.

Frazzled2207 · 10/10/2020 11:43

I’m in GM and we are allowed to leave the area but are now allowed to mix with other households indoors if we do. But the rules will change nationally on Monday.

Frazzled2207 · 10/10/2020 11:44

Are NOT allowed not now allowed

The3Ls · 10/10/2020 11:45

Yes in my area you can't go in houses or travel to non lockdown areas and visit houses. But I have meet people (outside for walks due to personal choice I like it and it's safer) outdoors or in covid secure places.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 10/10/2020 11:45

Local lockdowns in Wales forbid travel outside of your local authority boundary unless it's for work or to provide care for a vulnerable person
May not be the case in this instance but shows yet again that people seem unable to understand that there are different rules in the devolved nations
And small rural communities really don't want people travelling there from high infection rate areas

LindaEllen · 10/10/2020 11:48

It depends on the area. Where we are at the moment we aren't allowed to meet indoors or outdoors - no mixing with family groups at all and no unnecessary travel out of the area. But until this was increased last Saturday, we would have been able to stay in a hotel and meet family in a public place (just not in the home).

So just check the restrictions for their area.

I'm absolutely fed up of people thinking the rules don't apply to them, or that their situation or their need to see family counts as an extenuating circumstance.

We either all need to stick to it, or none of us should have to - as it's not fair that some people are just basically living as normal, and it's those of us who stick to the rules who are suffering - with the rule breakers making it last even longer!

Nicknacky · 10/10/2020 11:48

Greyishdays You can leave those areas, Nicola Sturgeon said that you “shouldn’t” but there is no restrictions.

Original poster
JosieP91 · 10/10/2020 11:55

Thanks everyone.
Thing is when I googled it said they aren't allowed to mix with other households in or outside. So I don't understand why they are saying that it's fine. I am sure plenty of people are happy to break the rules so they may just be saying it so they can come. I don't know. It is really confusing. Guess I just have to take their word for it...

OP posts: