Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To refuse to see family from local lockdown areas

43 replies

JosieP91 · 10/10/2020 10:48

My husband's family are wanting to come and visit us in a couple of weeks. They have had a hotel booked for months apparently. But they are currently in a local lockdown area and are telling DH they aren't and are allowed to visit

I have tried telling DH they aren't allowed and are lying about it but he is convinced they wouldn't do that and I am mistaken...also it seems like I'm causing trouble on purpose because I am not the biggest fan of these people but that is honestly not the issue here.

The fact they are lying to us about it infuriates me plus we have a small baby so I am not comfortable putting her at risk if they are from such a high risk area and clearly aren't taking the rules seriously.

DH is about to go away for a while for work so I can understand them wanting to see him before hw goes but I am not at all comfortable breaking the rules for this.

AIBU to refuse to let them to come?

OP posts:

Original poster

JosieP91 · 10/10/2020 11:56

They are from cheadle

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 10/10/2020 12:01

@JosieP91

Thanks everyone. Thing is when I googled it said they aren't allowed to mix with other households in or outside. So I don't understand why they are saying that it's fine. I am sure plenty of people are happy to break the rules so they may just be saying it so they can come. I don't know. It is really confusing. Guess I just have to take their word for it...

Quick email to their local council inquiries should clear things up.

Mooseflake · 10/10/2020 12:03

Don't take their word for it - take the Government guidance website's word for it. And as pp said - show it to your DH so he can see the truth.

Cocomarine · 10/10/2020 12:10

@JosieP91

This is just bizarrely passive

You’ve read the rules. So why does that mean you have to take anyone’s word for it? They can travel outside their area, but they can’t meet you in your home or private garden. So it’s a no. If they want to break the rules, they’ll have to do it with someone else 🤷🏻‍♀️ Your husband can meet them (as can you) outside of your home, following your local (and national rules) It’s not hard.

NameChange84 · 10/10/2020 12:13

So not far from me.

Cheadle falls under Stockport and these are the rules

you must not host people you do not live with in your home or garden, unless they’re in your support bubble

you must not meet people you do not live with in their home or garden, whether inside or outside of the affected areas unless they’re in your support bubble

it's advised that you should not socialise with people you do not live with, unless they’re in your support bubble, in any public venue - this applies to inside and outside of the affected areas. Examples of public venues include pubs, restaurants, cafes, shops, places of worship, community centres, leisure and entertainment venues, or visitor attractions and parks

So they can’t meet you in your home or garden, by law.

They are ADVISED not to meet you at a pub or park etc but it’s not illegal. They are free to visit pubs, parks, restaurants etc in their household in your area and they are allowed to go on holiday.

Gancanny · 10/10/2020 12:28

Thing is when I googled it said they aren't allowed to mix with other households in or outside. So I don't understand why they are saying that it's fine

Thats the rules for their area but if they travel to a different area they have to follow the rules for that new area. For example, here in Northumberland I can't mix with another household as that's the rules in Northumberland but if I travelled to my cousin in London I could mix with her household provided we observed the rule of six as that's the rules in London. You are bound by the rules of whichever place you happen to be in at that time rather than the rules of the place you live.

Original poster

JosieP91 · 10/10/2020 12:29

@Cocomarine No need to be patronising. It is hard actually when the rules are different everywhere and when I don't want to accuse people of lying but make sure I am sticking to the rules. It is hard.

@NameChange84 Thank you-that's cleared it up for me

OP posts:

Gancanny · 10/10/2020 12:30

It is hard actually when the rules are different everywhere

It is and all these regional rules have done is to confuse people as its overcomplicated the issue. Part of the reason for low compliance is lack of understanding.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 10/10/2020 12:35

This as a few months ago so my memory could be hazy but I'm a Leicester poster and I'm sure at one point we were categorically not allowed to travel out for holidays, in fact I heard of people who had holidays booked being proactively contacted by cottage owners etc to say they were having their bookings cancelled due to being Leicester folk?

As I say I may have mis-remembered but it makes sense as surely if you can just travel willy billy it's the opposite of trying to contain transmission?

I also may be feeling bitter as Leicester has been royally screwed over throughout this shit show

Cocomarine · 10/10/2020 12:49

@Gancanny that’s wrong. Rule 17. You can travel out of area, but you can’t go into someone’s house - regardless of their local rules.

www.northumberland.gov.uk/coronavirus/Latest-information-and-advice-on-Coronavirus.aspx

Cocomarine · 10/10/2020 12:49

@tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz Leicester really has had it tough!

StealthPolarBear · 10/10/2020 12:54

I live in an area of local lockdown. My parents aren't. I've always assume the no mixing rule applied to me means I can't travel to their area and meet them

Cocomarine · 10/10/2020 13:01

[quote JosieP91]@Cocomarine No need to be patronising. It is hard actually when the rules are different everywhere and when I don't want to accuse people of lying but make sure I am sticking to the rules. It is hard.

@NameChange84 Thank you-that's cleared it up for me[/quote]
I just don’t understand why, if you’re finding it hard, you’re happy to just accept @namechange84 post, or the opinion of the people you’re posting about. Why do you think someone on here is going to be more accurate than the government / council websites? Just because someone says they’re from an area and posts on the internet, doesn’t mean it’s right.

No offence intended @namechange84 what you’ve written sounds correct (though who knows come Wednesday which of us will be Tier 3 and what that’s actually going to mean?!) I’m certainly not saying you’re wrong... just that there are official sources, and I think they’re the best place to go.

LakieLady · 10/10/2020 13:06

It is hard actually when the rules are different everywhere and when I don't want to accuse people of lying but make sure I am sticking to the rules. It is hard

I agree that it's hard to know wtf is going on in different areas, tbh.

I've been saying for weeks that the whole of England (ideally, whole of UK, but because health is a devolved function that may be impossible) should have 3 or 4 different sets of rules, and the rate of new cases in any given area should determine which set of rules apply there.

I also think that the Welsh government are right to restrict out-of-area travel in areas where infection is high.

Gancanny · 10/10/2020 13:14

Rule 17. You can travel out of area, but you can’t go into someone’s house - regardless of their local rules.

I can still socialise with her though, just not in her house.

Cocomarine · 10/10/2020 13:19

@Gancanny

Rule 17. You can travel out of area, but you can’t go into someone’s house - regardless of their local rules.

I can still socialise with her though, just not in her house.

Yes absolutely you can still socialise with her, out of Northumberland. But you can’t, as you said, just follow the rules of the area that you are in at that moment. You follow the out-of-area rules for Northumberland residents.

That’s why I come back to my point that OP shouldn’t be relying on what people post here - no matter how well meaning they are.

I agree that it’s a pain to have different rules in different areas, and for people coming from different areas. But with the joy of the internet, it’s not THAT hard to google, make sure you’re on an official site, make sure it’s up to date (so Northumberland council website trumps a 2 week old Newcastle newspaper report) and read it through.

It’s just more confusing to ask on MN, than to read an official source.

Original poster

JosieP91 · 10/10/2020 13:30

@Cocomarine OK, I see your point but I did read the guidelines and that's why I have said they shouldn't be coming. But when people from there are saying they are allowed-that their area is different it's confusing. I guess I am just seeing what others think because I am going to have to basically tell them they can't come and don't want to do that if they are right.

OP posts:

Cocomarine · 10/10/2020 13:42

Stick to your guns 👍🏻
They can argue that they are happy to break the rules... but they can’t argue that they’re not breaking them. If only everyone was conscientious like you 🙂

Flip

1 2