To ask what is a reasonable expectation

[fmlfmlfmlfm]

I've had an almighty bust up with my son. I spent 40 minutes writing the post for it to get lost due to username issues.

So very quickly

If your child was 17, working part time, at college part time , does their own washing and deals with their own room, quite independent re sorting food etc and doesn't get charged any rent and you pay for their travel to college etc

What would a reasonable expectation be of them in your house?

To clarify - your rules over

Curfew
Smoking weed
Chores
Having gf to stay

I just want to know if I'm being unreasonable in my expectations.

I'm

Weed and girlfriend staying would be a no-no at 17 for me. Weed in particular, I've seen too many young lads turn their brain to mush with that shit plus my sister works in mental health and the stories she tells you would shock - and often starts with weed so there's no way I could condone my own child starting down that route. He'll do it anyway of course but I wouldn't tolerate it in or near my house.

Curfew depends on how sensible he is and how likely to take the piss. Chores should be done by everyone in the house - dishes/Hoover etc.

Don't get me wrong I wasn't a nice mum last night and I'm appalled by some of my words and actions but in general I am a very loving kind mum who's had a shit week and wanted a bath in piece.

It's the second key I've got cut for him this year and he were locked inside for 6 months of it 🤣. He only had to walk 5 minutes to get the spare...

@fmlfmlfmlfm

OP he's 17 not 7 so if you were a bit harsh I don't think it's the end of the world. I think it's fine for him to work out that parents are also people who can reach the end of their tether.

This is why I hate weed, I have seen the affects from people first hand and it's my biggest fear. Thanks ladies I've had a big cry x

I also agree with you about weed OP. Although most people I know had no really negative long tern impact from weed it definitely made them very difficult to live with in the way you describe. I'm not sure you'll be able to stop him entirely but I absolutely understand why you'd want to.