To think in this day and age nobody should have “dehydration” as a cause of death.

[Whiskyinajar]

Devastated and upset.

In January this year my 77yr old auntie was independent, car driving, walked long distances and was healthy.

In February she started feeling tired and started staying in bed lots. She and my Uncle spoke to the doctor who said she was depressed and would feel better if she got out of bed. .

My auntie has never been depressed in her life, nor was she ever someone who just laid in bed. She was in bed as she was exhausted and had weaker muscles.

She was admitted to hospital sho said she had a low sodium level and said this was causing her symptoms. They tried to address this and I have no complaints about their care at this stage. They identified an issue and gave treatment, my auntie went home. However her symptoms continued to get worse and she started to display neurological symptoms, unsteady on her feet, lurching to one side and needing a walking stick. She began to look like an old lady...and by that I mean like her late Mum when she was 94.

Symptoms got worse, she got more and more confused. She’s been in and out of hospital where they have blamed in no particular order...a urine infection, her tablets, the low sodium level and getting older.

In the last month it got so bad that she became more and more confused and sleepy. Eventually my Uncle who is registered blind had to say he couldn’t care for her any longer . She was in and out of hospital and finally went from hospital to a nursing home last week. By this point she didn’t know where she was ..she thought she was home.

By Tuesday they’d phoned my Uncle to say she was on “end of life” care.
They still had no answers as to what was causing all the symptoms.

By Wednesday she deteriorated and died.

The death certificate has been produced today.

She died from “Dehydration” , “old age” and “dementia”.

I am fuming....this woman was still driving in January and whatever has happened has left her dead and no fucker can tell us what has happened to her.

My Uncle is devastated and really upset about the death certificate, He’s contesting the death certificate and the nursing home are now saying they had no hand over so have no access to her previous records.

Can my Uncle insist on a post mortem. ...we just want some answers but it feels like there are none. How does someone go from fully independent with all their faculties to dead in nine months with no answer about why Their health has deteriorated.

If you’ve read all through thank you, I’m aware I’m ranting but I am so upset.

OP I have no advice other than to suggest she was put on the liverpool project which is basically nil by mouth until they pass.
I used to be a carer and it is not a nice thing to witness and I'm so sorry if that is what happened and you werent informed.
I hope you get to the bottom of it and sending you social distancing hugs because it sounds like you need it.

So sorry for you and your family OP. This sounds awful.

Hey OP so sorry for your loss. My Dad also succumbed to vascular dementia and it was horrible seeing him decline so quickly. Every time I visited I spent ages trying to push a sip of tea or water on him, but he refused.

Anyway I wanted to recommend Cruse to you and your uncle - www.cruse.org.uk/ - I think you can contact directly or get referred by your GP. I had a lot of things to think/talk through and it really helped having someone, a nonjudgemental stranger, listen to me. I stopped the sessions after a while, but they can go on for as long as you like, I think.

@bumblingbovine49 I am so sorry your dad also had a Glioblastoma. My dad passed 7 weeks ago. It took 4 weeks from diagnosis to losing him.
Covid made things 10 times worse as he was not allowed visitors and they wouldn't let him home as he was nimble and kept trying to get up for no reason despite being very unstable.
It's a bloody cruel condition And more needs to be done about it.

With my dad the MRI didn't pick it up. It was the CT scan

@Whiskyinajar were the tests done at the very start of her illness or before she passed? My dad who had a Glioblastoma was given an MRI and nothing was spotted.
Then the CT scan showed a very tiny lesion.
We were told it was isolated and very likely treatable. A week later we found it was a Glioblastoma and very aggressive. It took 4 weeks.
His bloods and urine were fine at the start too. The speed was shocking.

His balance was completely gone and his speech rapidly disappeared.

My dad couldn't swallow in the end as the Glioblastoma pressed on the part of the brain that controls ingestion. He went from eating absolutely tons to not eating or drinking at all in the last week.
His certificate could have technically stated dehydration as the lack of fluids no doubt led to a quicker end. We really didn't want him to suffer unnecessarily though.

You may get piece of mind from a post mortem and you can request. There are two types (coroners or hospital). A coroner’s PM (which has a smaller and defined remit) is mostly focused on identifying immediate cause of death, or if there’s a legal/police situation, which isn’t so helpful for you as you want to understand the underlying causes of death. I that case a hospital PM would be better as they’re thorough and look for all causes. It may really help with closure. You could call coroner‘s office to start with an say you’re unhappy with causes of death and take it from there. Perhaps talk to the registrar as they’re usually very helpful and will know how best to proceed

@QueenOllie thanks for the link. They look like a good idea 🌷

@candleabra, I’m well aware that a ‘galloping’ form of dementia is very hard for relatives, so please don’t take this the wrong way, but it may be more merciful for the sufferer.

My mother showed the first signs of dementia in her very early 80s, and went on to 97 - and for her last few years she was a most pitiful wreck - doubly incontinent, no longer recognising any of her family, unable to understand anything or hold any sort of conversation.
Given that she’d always been an intensely private person, it was doubly awful to witness.

And even for several years before that she had been almost constantly anxious or fretful, and/or worried about things she could not even name - mostly in her head, or terribly distressed because she could not be convinced that some very upsetting dream was not real.

If - God forbid - I ever get dementia, I would fervently hope for the ‘galloping’ variety.

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER I know what you're saying. There's no good dementia though. My poor mum is so young and should still have lots of life to enjoy. Even a fast decline is still terribly slow and awful whilst you're going through it. It's only now I can say, looking back, that it was quick. It's just horrible. Your poor mum too. It is devastating for families, the ripple effect. It left me a shell of a person for a long time.

Again I want to thank everyone for their comments. Am sad to see how many of you are going through this or have been through it.

Update is that there will be a PM but am not sure when this will be.

I finally saw the death certificate and it has Dehydration and Old Age listed as cause of death. The doctor also wrote Dementia but had crossed this out and replaced it with infection of unknown origin.

I know 77 is "older" but my auntie was still driving and independent back in January so "old age" as a cause of death isn't washing with me.

To be fair though this doctor had only met my auntie once so she is likely as much in the dark as us and listed the causes of death based on what she had seen.