Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think in this day and age nobody should have “dehydration” as a cause of death.

86 replies

Whiskyinajar · 09/10/2020 18:33

Devastated and upset.

In January this year my 77yr old auntie was independent, car driving, walked long distances and was healthy.

In February she started feeling tired and started staying in bed lots. She and my Uncle spoke to the doctor who said she was depressed and would feel better if she got out of bed. Hmm.

My auntie has never been depressed in her life, nor was she ever someone who just laid in bed. She was in bed as she was exhausted and had weaker muscles.

She was admitted to hospital sho said she had a low sodium level and said this was causing her symptoms. They tried to address this and I have no complaints about their care at this stage. They identified an issue and gave treatment, my auntie went home. However her symptoms continued to get worse and she started to display neurological symptoms, unsteady on her feet, lurching to one side and needing a walking stick. She began to look like an old lady...and by that I mean like her late Mum when she was 94.

Symptoms got worse, she got more and more confused. She’s been in and out of hospital where they have blamed in no particular order...a urine infection, her tablets, the low sodium level and getting older.

In the last month it got so bad that she became more and more confused and sleepy. Eventually my Uncle who is registered blind had to say he couldn’t care for her any longer . She was in and out of hospital and finally went from hospital to a nursing home last week. By this point she didn’t know where she was ..she thought she was home.

By Tuesday they’d phoned my Uncle to say she was on “end of life” care.
They still had no answers as to what was causing all the symptoms.

By Wednesday she deteriorated and died.

The death certificate has been produced today.

She died from “Dehydration” , “old age” and “dementia”.

I am fuming....this woman was still driving in January and whatever has happened has left her dead and no fucker can tell us what has happened to her.

My Uncle is devastated and really upset about the death certificate, He’s contesting the death certificate and the nursing home are now saying they had no hand over so have no access to her previous records.

Can my Uncle insist on a post mortem. ...we just want some answers but it feels like there are none. How does someone go from fully independent with all their faculties to dead in nine months with no answer about why Their health has deteriorated.

If you’ve read all through thank you, I’m aware I’m ranting but I am so upset.

OP posts:
Hobnobsandbroomstick · 09/10/2020 22:38

How does someone go from fully independent with all their faculties to dead in nine months with no answer about why Their health has deteriorated.

Dementia can sometimes progress very quickly, and can cause depression and walking difficulties, as well as confusion. It is a horrible disease. Very sorry for your loss.

Taciturn · 09/10/2020 22:40

A plain old bladder / kidney infection would explain all those symptoms - including the confusion. I knew a nurse from a geriatrics ward years ago and this was a very common cause of admission and also commonly confused with dementia. Have a PM if you can

Hobnobsandbroomstick · 09/10/2020 22:43

He’s contesting the death certificate and the nursing home are now saying they had no hand over so have no access to her previous records.

This sounds awful of the nursing home, they would have made an assessment of your auntie before she went there, while she was still in hospital, and should have written a care plan for her. Sounds very dodgy. They should have plenty of documentation. And if they didn't have a hand over, then why?

Regularsizedrudy · 09/10/2020 22:46

I’m very sorry for your loss op. Dehydration is often listed as the cause of death for people in hospices (end of life care) as they remove drips and allow for a natural death. It’s not a case of neglect in any way, it’s normal practice.

HitchikersGuide · 09/10/2020 22:58

The decline from dementia can as PPs have said be really rapid, and not drinking, which is very very common in people with dementia, unfortunately, leads to a circle of worsening symptoms, which means they drink even less. This can in turn lead to UTIs, which worsen dementia and can cause delirium.
Old age can be really horrible and cruel. It is totally natural and understandable to feel anger and want answers, but maybe try to steel yourself for the possibility that there won't be any that could make your grief easier to bear.

Leaannb · 09/10/2020 23:00

@2bazookas

Some dementias are very rapid, I'm afraid, this might explain your sad experience.

< www.choosecomforthome.com/the-facts-of-rapid-onset-dementia-life-expectancy/>

This is more common than people realize
User50573 · 09/10/2020 23:00

I’m so sorry no you definitely right no one should die of dehydration.

doublehalo · 09/10/2020 23:20

I'm very sorry for your loss, Whiskey.

Your post and the symptoms you describe actually made me do a double take and I wondered whether we're related, as these are the exact symptoms my Mum is experiencing. She's been in and out of hospital several times, suffering from low sodium levels, bladder infection etc. She has the weakness you describe, unsteady on her feet and was suffering from dehydration on the last admission to hospital.

She was also diagnosed with deperssion and was prescribed Amitriptyline, which can cause low sodium levels but as yet we have no idea what the problem is. I suspect some sort of problem with the various medications she's on.

It's not dementia as several PPs seem to think.

I hope you can find some peace. Flowers

ladybird69 · 10/10/2020 00:36

So sorry for your loss @Whiskyinajar.like your auntie My mum has been taken into a nursing home, mums hurt her hip and is in excruciating pain. She can’t sit or stand. Basically shes stopped eating and drinking so that she doesn’t have to get out of bed to use the toilet. But we’re all telling her that she must drink and also eat as shes on very strong painkillers but she seems to have given up. Like your auntie she was walking around and singing and dancing in feb. It’s unbelievable just how fast they go down hill. I’m just on the phone to her begging her to drink and her GP to give her the magic potion to help take the pain away. I just feel so helpless.

OwlBeThere · 10/10/2020 00:54

My grandad died in similar circumstances from dementia. He was climbing ladders to redo his roof one day, within 3 months he was gone. It can be hellishly fast.

rorosemary · 10/10/2020 01:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rorosemary · 10/10/2020 01:10

I'm sorry for your loss OP. It's hard to see a loved kne get sick and die. Take care.

QueenOllie · 10/10/2020 01:13

@ladybird69 they're sold out at the minute but would these help? They're quite new but with good reviews
https://www.jellydrops.com/products/shop-jelly-drops

I'm sorry for your loss OP

DustyMaiden · 10/10/2020 01:25

So sorry for your loss. People of that age do die. The natural path is to withdraw from people, sleep more. Stop eating and then drinking. Most people are dehydrated when they die.

oldmapie · 10/10/2020 01:28

Did she ever have a CT or MRI scan?

HamsterHolder · 10/10/2020 01:55

Just regards the 'barbaric' comments regards being allowed to die of dehydration - please don't think this about refusing someone a drink of water that's asking for it, it's actually quite the opposite.

It's quite common for some patients with dementia to not want to drink and certainly not drink enough to keep them hydrated. Whilst constant encouragement can help some, for others you would need to force feed them. I'm a Paramedic and an inability to hydrate in the community is a very very common reason to be admitted to hospital in the elderly population.

Giving fluids through a cannula in an awake confused patient is often not possible as these patients would typically pull it out. Eventually of course they become unconscious so giving fluids through a cannula is possible however to what end? If there's a known reversible cause i.e. infection then there can be a benefit to treatment in order to give time to the body to recover and regain a quality of life. However if it has occured due to dementia, organ failure (when transplant isn't possible) then there isn't reason to prolong a life that has no quality (i.e. needs to be kept unconscious). Sometimes it isn't possible to be certain 100% of what the cause is but they will obviously rule out causes which can be reversed.

Once an assessment has been made that a patient has no realistic chance of recovery they would be identified as an end of life patient, people can live with this diagnosis for many months or just hours. The diagnosis is not made lightly. Nothing would be done to speed death, all measures will be taken to maintain their comfort and this is done compassionately.

An end of life diagnosis can be beneficial to many patients, it can mean a return home to spend their last days at home with loved ones, instead of in an unfamiliar environment with strangers receiving treatment which may be confusing or have uncomfortable side effects. It can mean treatments that are much more focused on improving comfort.

Lemonlady22 · 10/10/2020 03:41

Low sodium is often caused by heart failure, renal failure, or certain cancers. Sometimes this is not picked up until the low sodium causes problems, and becomes difficult to control. Patients are often put on a restricted fluid intact which is done to prevent the sodium being being more dilute in the body, giving somebody intravenous fluids is avoided because this makes you more hydrated, making you pass more urine, thus flushing out more sodium out of the body. Its a really complex situation to get completely right. Low sodium makes you very confused. Have the hospital not said why your aunts sodium was low? Electrolyte imbalances tend to be all over the place when one becomes deranged for some reason. Do you know how low the sodium was? Hope this explanation helps you understand a bit more as to why being dehydrated to some extent helps increase sodium levels.

Lemonlady22 · 10/10/2020 03:42

Intact should be INTAKE

FenellaMaxwell · 10/10/2020 06:36

I’m so sorry for your loss. I am wondering if the fatigue and muscle weakness that she had at the start of all this may in fact have been a stroke. Strokes can often cause low sodium and vascular dementia.

Straven123 · 10/10/2020 06:48

If a patient can't swallow or eat properly then food or drink offered can end up in the lungs rather than the stomach.
I was warned when my aunt was diagnosed with dementia and Parkinsons that she could deteriorate quickly which she has.

eurochick · 10/10/2020 06:55

I'm sorry for your loss. You have understandable questions and concerns, but to offer another perspective, if I were given the choice myself between living a full happy life, a rapid decline and death a few months later, or a slow decline, spending years in hospital and care homes, not knowing who my visitors are and having no quality of life, I know which I would chose. I have seen both ways close up from various grandparents and the latter is an awful way to go.

FlorenceNightshade · 10/10/2020 07:11

There is a huge difference between offering a patient sips of fluid which they decline and totally withholding intake which the LCP advocated. There is a reason it’s not used anymore.

IME dehydration in end of life care is a side effect of the dying process and not a cause. I think it’s unusual to say the least that it’s listed as a cause of death and that would make me want to take this further.

frumpety · 10/10/2020 07:49

@FlorenceNightshade the LCP was a tool designed by the Marie Curie palliative care institute in Liverpool, to try and replicate the standard of end of life care given in hospices. It never advocated totally witholding all intake.

FlorenceNightshade · 10/10/2020 07:55

Perhaps not but that’s what ended up happening.

BovaryX · 10/10/2020 08:03

@Whiskyinajar

That is shocking and must be so distressing for you all. It sounds like she suddenly experienced a rapid decline in health and its cause was not diagnosed. What blood work was done during her hospital admission? What diagnostic tests were performed? The doctor who said 'depression' strikes me as sloppy. Her symptoms as you have described were physical which suggest a physical ailment, something with a rapid onset and producing multiple serious symptoms. Ask for her hospital records. You have every reason to feel confused and angry about this because her death has not been explained. If she was dehydrated at the time of death, was this because she was physically unable to drink water?