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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

'making a home' is bloody time consuming...

38 replies

coffeelover3 · 08/10/2020 17:51

I'm so tired to having to do stuff in the house. Moved in during lockdown in March. Still have no curtains. More boxes arrived today that had gotten delayed so have to tackle those. Have no access to loft, so where do you store large suitcases? I used to think it takes a year when you move house, to get settled in. I thought I'd be quicker this time. Still have no lampshades for half the bulbs. Have pictures that need framing. I'm so tired, sorry for the moaning. Partly wfh, but it's all the general stuff like cooking cleaning etc, I never seem to have time to 'make it nice'. Anyone else moved recently - how are you getting on. I find myself thinking nostalgically about when we moved in with hardly any 'stuff' . I know you need it all though, especially now we are staying at home a lot more, it's nice to have hobbies and stuff around to do.

OP posts:

MatildaTheCat · 08/10/2020 17:58

You sound overwhelmed. Is storage space limited? I would write a list, prioritise getting main rooms nice and use less used rooms to store boxes etc until you have more time.

For temporary solutions go online and buy some cheap shades for the lights and possibly some cheapish blinds If you are going to be investing in good curtains at some point.

It never really ends tbh, homes need constant attention and upkeep.

However, YABU for using the word ‘gotten’.

Original poster

coffeelover3 · 08/10/2020 18:01

lol what's wrong with gotten...!!

Yes you're right. There were blinds when we moved in - about the only thing there was - but 2 have broken.

Yes very little storage space - I need to buy more maybe, but buying wardrobes is tricky isn't it. I went to buy one in IKEA but it wouldn't fit in the car and was so heavy I don't think I'd be able to carry it upstairs, so would have to pay someone to come and do it and that's more money. We're managing with those kallax boxes at the moment. and one tiny wardrobe for 'specail' clothes

OP posts:

SummerHouse · 08/10/2020 18:06

I feel your pain. Everywhere I look there are piles of stuff, and things to do, walls to paint and areas to clean. We have been here ten years.

My suggestions are have One Nice Room. It will all be sorted and a haven in which you can close the door to the rest of the mess house. This is your sanctuary. Get candles and defusers. Prioritise it over everything (including family members).

Try Marie Kundo's (probably not her name) book How to tidy your life (almost definitely not the title). The whole premise is declutter. If we have less stuff, we live in a nicer environment but lots less Stuff Admin to do like tidy, clean, organise and store.

Here: For your beautiful new home.

Original poster

coffeelover3 · 08/10/2020 18:16

thanks would you believe I did marie kondo before we moved, and thought I had it down to very manageable, but I guess I need to do it again. the boxes and suitcases that arrived today I have no idea what's in them - haven't missed the stuff for 8 months, so feel like putting them in the bin without opening. better go through them I guess

OP posts:

ScaramoucheFandango · 08/10/2020 18:19

This is your chance to bin more.

Just do a bit at a time. Set a timer. Then take a break.

SummerHouse · 08/10/2020 18:20

Nah. Just pick up a suitcase and ask if it brings you joy? Nope? It's out. 😂

ssd · 08/10/2020 18:21

I agree, it's time consuming and it's not cheap.

Arrivederla · 08/10/2020 18:21

"Gotten" is setting my teeth on edge too. Are you from the US? If not, you are being very unreasonable!

I feel your pain about the clutter though. Definitely go through everything again and chuck more stuff.

Dozer · 08/10/2020 18:26

at the grammar pedantry.

Moving can be overwhelming for sure.

Dozer · 08/10/2020 18:27

Why can’t you access the loft?

BloodyCreateUsername · 08/10/2020 18:27

It can feel overwhelming when you move, second PP about writing a list a job a week or every couple of days will really help speed things along.

Minimumstandard · 08/10/2020 18:32

Little and often has helped me. I try to get up an hour before DC and spend 5-10 minutes doing a job that wouldn't usually make the cut as part of the 'daily grind' (so reorganising a bookcase or sorting an untidy corner).

Secondsop · 08/10/2020 18:41

Congratulations on your new home! It is overwhelming, I agree. I haven’t recently moved (been here 4 years) but my suggestion while you wfh would be to resolve to do 1 thing a day that makes your living environment nicer. Can be emptying a box, can be putting up 1 picture, can be tidying a corner. Totally different circumstances but a couple of years I was languishing at home recovering from a miscarriage and this was what I did to get me out of a funk. So even if you look around and it’s not “done”, at least it’s a tiny bit better than the day before

UltimateOwl · 08/10/2020 18:45

Moved here a couple of years ago. I really want to buy some pictures to put up but before I do that I need to plan where they'll go, which means deciding on furniture layout / shelves etc and paint colours (the only picture I've bought had a pale pink background which I thought would be fine but doesn't go anywhere so it's in the loo!) - I agree it takes FOREVER!

MarjorytheTrashHeap · 08/10/2020 18:49

If it makes you feel any better, I finally framed my photos ready to put on the walls during lockdown, six years after we moved in! And I am still waiting for DH to actually hang them!

It is very time consuming, especially if you are also out at work or looking after children all day. I agree with making a priority list, eg can you pick one job per month that you would like to do. If you try to focus on everything that needs doing it will be too overwhelming.

AlwaysLatte · 08/10/2020 18:55

Haha I don't understand what's wrong with gotten either...
I would pick a room (the lounge area?) to make really special and totally get it just how you like it, no clutter, etc, so that you have ONE room you can escape to as a sanctuary.

12309845653ghydrvj · 08/10/2020 18:59

I moved 2 months ago—I had everything moved in 1 can, and bought everything I needed for the house online, timed to arrive day or move and following day. Basically didn’t sleep for 48 hours, unpacked everything, taking deliveries every 20 mins (big Sainsbury’s also arrived!) and just ate meal deals. Yes it’s a lot to do, but so much easier if you do it all in one go!

Take a day off (or pick a weekend day) and just finish everything, no matter how late it gets. Use your suitcases for long term storage (e.g. I have winter stuff that stays in there in summer, and summer stuff that stays in there in winter) and if necessary put them behind couch or in wardrobe.

Deux · 08/10/2020 18:59

@Arrivederla

"Gotten" is setting my teeth on edge too. Are you from the US? If not, you are being very unreasonable!

I feel your pain about the clutter though. Definitely go through everything again and chuck more stuff.

Be careful there. Gotten is used in Scotland a lot and has been used in Scotland long before it was taken over to the US.

MissPoldark · 08/10/2020 19:02

However, YABU for using the word ‘gotten’

I thought the same, sorry.
And it’s not grammar pedantry, it’s an awful Americanism that has crept into British English.
Why add another pointless 3 letters to a perfectly good word?

Deux · 08/10/2020 19:07

@MissPoldark

However, YABU for using the word ‘gotten’

I thought the same, sorry.
And it’s not grammar pedantry, it’s an awful Americanism that has crept into British English.
Why add another pointless 3 letters to a perfectly good word?

It’s not an Americanism in Scottish English. Perhaps in English English.

Emeeno1 · 08/10/2020 19:10

Isn't 'gotten' from the middle English begotten, past participle of beget?

Pulloutbed · 08/10/2020 19:12

DH and I were in bed complaining about all our stuff and how we need to have a mass clear out... The next day we had a house fire and it destroyed everything!! Just do that OP

MirandaMarple · 08/10/2020 19:15

Apart from curtains (if privacy is an issue) slow down. Nothing else you mentioned is essential.

I moved in July, pretty settled, it's clean and comfortable but that is still some titivating and faffing to do, which will happen in time.

Don't rush into lampshades, what if you buy them in a rush and end up disliking them? My rule of thumb is, take time to make decisions, as I'm only buying it once!

I've deleted some house accounts I follow on Instagram and it was easy to delete Pinterest. No one lives like that.

Happy new home

poshme · 08/10/2020 19:25

You can pay ikea to deliver stuff. Then open the box downstairs, and carry the bits to where they need to go one at a time. Then put it together.
You don't have to carry it all in the box together.

MissPoldark · 08/10/2020 19:33

Ok, are you really suggesting that the current prolific use of gotten is because it’s used in some Scottish dialects? And nothing at all to do with the popularity of American TV series, films, YouTube etc...?

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