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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

'making a home' is bloody time consuming...

38 replies

coffeelover3 · 08/10/2020 17:51

I'm so tired to having to do stuff in the house. Moved in during lockdown in March. Still have no curtains. More boxes arrived today that had gotten delayed so have to tackle those. Have no access to loft, so where do you store large suitcases? I used to think it takes a year when you move house, to get settled in. I thought I'd be quicker this time. Still have no lampshades for half the bulbs. Have pictures that need framing. I'm so tired, sorry for the moaning. Partly wfh, but it's all the general stuff like cooking cleaning etc, I never seem to have time to 'make it nice'. Anyone else moved recently - how are you getting on. I find myself thinking nostalgically about when we moved in with hardly any 'stuff' . I know you need it all though, especially now we are staying at home a lot more, it's nice to have hobbies and stuff around to do.

OP posts:
IndieTara · 08/10/2020 19:41

I moved 2 years ago and I feel as if I'm instantly moving things around, decorating , having a clear out due to no storage. ( I live in the equivalent of a Hi de Hi chalet )

mizu · 08/10/2020 19:43

Grinfeel your pain. No clutter here but we had been here over 2 years before we got blinds in the lounge - a big window, a small one and a medium one. Mix of not having the money or time to sort it out.

Have had them now for a couple of months and I still smile when I walk in.

GettingUntrapped · 08/10/2020 19:44

I've found that since becoming a mother, I don't have the same drive to create a nice home as I did before. I've thought about this often.
It used to be so important to me to have beautiful things arranged nicely.
Now, the arrangements of the house are so often for the benefit of others, that enthusiasm isn't there any more.
It's hard. I do the basics and a bit on top.

If you still have stuff packed away that you don't need, then just leave it until you are ready to go through it.
I've just been through this process and was very happy to put some stuff in the bin today that I'd held on to for two years.
Good riddance to it!

Poppingnostopping · 08/10/2020 19:53

Agreed OP, I'm busy with work, housekeeping, cooking, the children (taxi service) and by the time I sit down my motivation to then start sorting stuff out or decorating is at an all time low. No solutions, except to try to find someone else to do it!

notalwaysalondoner · 08/10/2020 19:53

I agree! I spent 12+ weeks at my parents during lockdown living out of one medium sized suitcase and didn't miss anything at all! The only thing I regretted was I brought my nice 'city' work coat with me instead of a country waterproof coat. But that was across the seasons from winter to summer, included working, hiking, running, sunbathing etc. and I had everything I needed! I went home and thought 'what. the. hell. is all this stuff???!!!' I live in a tiny London flat and we've been there for 4 years and it's gone from being relatively tidy to being that only the living room/kitchen is tidy - our bedroom and tiny utility room are BULGING with stuff. Think I need to do a more aggressive cleanout...

I think the biggest rule when you move in somewhere is to do as much as you can IMMEDIATELY. I remember a friend saying this when we moved in and I was like 'no, I have years to do all the updates I want, buy furniture etc.' but she was right - we did so much in the first 2-3 months and then have done so little since. I think after 2-3 months you subconsciously realise it's fine to live like this so you are massively unincentivised to change the carpets/buy a painting/organise those boxes...

Make a to-do list and reserve a day per weekend to work through it. It's the only way it will happen - if you wait until you're 'in the mood' to do house stuff it just won't happen as you'll be tired from the week. Get your DH to do his share too - this isn't just a woman's job but normally falls to us...

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 08/10/2020 19:54

Don't beat yourself up You can't do everything. A lot ofpeople with immaculate homes turns out to have inlaws nearby who help with the kinds and employ cleaners, gardeners and handimen etc.. but they keep quiet about it!!
Can you find a local Mums facebook group and ask if they have any recommendations for curtain companies or handimen who will help with flat pack furniture. As for pictures.. you can get good frames/mounts on Amazon and similar and there are those sticky removable tabs so you don't need to drill. Try to get the main living area sorted out first and worry about upstairs and storage later. Except for Wardrobes. Get at least one so the kids get used to hanging things up and a few storage baskets so they have somewhere to dump their toys. You will get there!

CremeEggThief · 08/10/2020 19:58

You probably had too much stuff that you moved with you. I had 22 moving boxes from a 3 bed house in my last move (apart from bedding and curtains in bin bags), so had everything unpacked and mostly organised within a week. A few examples: I put all my books in alphabetical order on the bookcase in the sitting room 3 days after moving. I hired a handyman to put up curtain rails and hang our bedroom curtains the day before we moved (rental property). I had lightbulbs and lightshades on all lights within the first couple of days and all my pictures were up on walls within a fortnight. In my opinion, you have to dedicate your first week or so to getting your house how you want it after you move, and I think where you went wrong was trying to do too many other things at the same time. Moving and creating a home is not something you can do properly while trying to multitask.

Franklyfrost · 08/10/2020 20:01

Same boat here. I’ve kept things in boxes and am unpacking slowly slowly. I really struggle with keeping the house tidy if things don’t have a fixed place. The rule is: everything has to have a home and if it doesn’t have a home it can stay in the box. It’s not very efficient and some of the ‘homes’ are provisional but I only have 30min free a day. I’m thinking it’ll take 10 years or so.

Franklyfrost · 08/10/2020 20:07

Oh, and it’s satisfying to do little areas. I‘ll give a a corner of a room extra attention for a week and get it right. It gives me a sense of achievement but reading up thread about alphabetised books I think my achievements might be a bit, um, achievable.

CremeEggThief · 08/10/2020 20:14

Ha! Ha! @Franklyfrost, I am obsessed with order!Grin

burritofan · 08/10/2020 20:26

Lists, lists, lists. Go room by room, listing everything that would make it nice/cosy/homey/however you want it to feel: hang pictures, hang curtains (sub list: squire curtain pole, put up curtain pole, make curtains, buy hooks), bookshelves (measure up, get wood, fit shelves to wall, stain and varnish, etc), lamps, rug, rearrange furniture, paint, etc.

Then take that list and rearrange it into types of task: painting, drilling, organising/decluttering, acquiring items, making something. That way when you get out, say, the drill, screws and rawlplugs to do one thing on the list you can blitz through a few items at once. Same with painting, decluttering, picture hanging: you can do a few bits at a time.

Some rooms will start to come together more quickly than others, at which point you temporarily abandon method 2, doing things via task, and return to method 1, and see what you need to finish the room and how you can do it.

This also all has the bonus of being ridiculously satisfying for crossing things off – I keep my lists on the fridge and most lunchtimes thanks to WFH I can do a task or two. (Today I hung a picture and did a bit of gardening.) Every now and then I take a couple of days off work and just power through stuff; not being able to go anywhere or have holidays helps enormously!

Marmitecrackers · 08/10/2020 20:44

Remind yourself how much you loved it when you bought it.

We bought our house with potential and it took us about 6 years to look really good. We got it nice enough and then chipped away for making it beautiful.

coffeelover3 · 08/10/2020 21:10

thanks everyone :) It's only a rental marmitecrackers but I've resigned myself to the fact that my kids will only know rentals - my dd just turned 17 sigh... But I want to make it nice for us all as it's our first house - always had apartments before this. No dh, so just me. DD is good when she's motivated - like us all. Am going to make a mahoosive list and start ticking things off, Gonna check out delivery costs for ikea, that's a good idea, get them to deliver and assemble. Might be cheaper to go to British Heart Foundation or somewhere though I'm thinking now... I think they deliver too, for a small fee. I think cos I moved in in just the week lockdown started I lost motivation as there were no shops open. Coulndt even order on amazon at the time - the waits were like 6 weeks, so just had to wait, picked up a few things in argos and aldi, but had to 'make do'. anyway thx everyone. I think now it's getting colder curtains would make it cosy

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