To ask over 50s to check in to show we are not a separate breed of Mumsnetters

[LaureBerthaud]

COVID has really brought out the ageism on Mumsnet! Over 50s are not an homogeneous group sucking on our Werther's Originals longing for the social centre to re-open so we can resume whist drives and coach trips to outlet stores with a nice cafe attached!

I'm mum to DC who's taking their GCSEs next year and I will have to continue working to support them through uni and because I enjoy working AND I have a mortgage!

So stop trying to lock us down - the economy needs us as taxpayers and consumers!

It dies seem as though MN ignore ageism posts. I've seen some callous words around the covid topics but it's been here for before that too. Brexit brought out some awful crap and accusations of all boomers ruining future generations prospects. Even before brexit I remember reading posts along the lines of selfish old people sitting in big houses while the young couldn't get on the housing market. As if an entire generation has had an easy ride and living the high life!

Derxa what gets me is they think they invented sex!!!!

Such pearls as ‘people don’t understand today as no one had casual sex in the 80’s’ 😁😁

‘Over 50’s haven’t had to live through difficult times. Nope just Thatcher, huge unemployment, high interest rates and the decimation of the North ( where l live)

My ds is 27. He never talks like this!

Such pearls as ‘people don’t understand today as no one had casual sex in the 80’s’ 😁😁

Take me back to the 80's please! I'd even swap Boris for Thatcher!

Derxa what gets me is they think they invented sex!!!! Well yes. It's a mystery how the human race keeps reproducing.
My DS knows how to wind me up. Calling me a Boomer who voted for Brexit (one of these is true) It is a frustrating time for everybody and it's human nature to blame others I suppose.

I’ve seen “well that was thirty years ago, in previous generations women wouldn’t have carried on working after they got married”

@YesThisIsMe

I’ve seen “well that was thirty years ago, in previous generations women wouldn’t have carried on working after they got married”

Ha Ha!

I think the problem about MNHQ intervening about boomer slagging is it isn't a personal attack so doesn't contravene their often idiosyncratically applied rules.

It's not a protected characteristic. And yes, the boomers, cast as some quasi-intentional beneficiaries of economic accident/state of affairs /thieves of the future makes me boak.

I'm looking into my 🔮to see their spawn blame them for fucking up the Covid.[

I am over 60, working full time and also chairing an inner city primary school.

I go out when I need to, host Zoom sessions for friends and wear a mask.

54 and struggling to get my head round getting older. DC are grown up, DH is older than me and now looks every minute of his 70 yrs looks 80. Its his lack of willingness to do anything other than watch Drama channel all day that drives me mad.
I do work FT and due to poor choices when I was young will probably work till I drop.
The positive is that I am healthy and active. Middle aged spread and menopause notwithstanding.
I'm currently trying to find a activity/sport to do later in the evenings after work to try to reclaim my youth lose weight.

The saying is that 'youth is wasted on the young'

@XingMing

Have I missed the comments from MNHQ? They are uncharacteristically very quiet.

I was hoping @JustineMumsnet would pop in as she's over 50. Come on Justine, I've got plenty of Werther's to share as these buggers don't want 'em.

Isn’t it a protected characteristic? It’s about age? So surely it is a protected characteristic.

I think actually we should put in a complaint about it. It’s just like calling someone of a different race, or disability an unpleasant name.

This thread is the best one I’ve read here. I had no idea there were so many of us. What an amazing bunch of decrepit old bags we are!

I’ve just sent an official complaint about the use of Boomer and why it is unchallenged.

I’ll let you know. I think more need to complain. Imagine calling some oone of a different race or gender a derogatory term on here. You’d get banned straight away. But it’s ok to say this....

I have to say that this thread is interesting but also quite upsetting in the way that all the over 50s are describing themselves by demonstration of their health, fitness and levels of activity eg I walk miles every day, do marathons, go skiing, etc etc etc - not to mention "I only use my walking stick on Mondays etc etc".

I am in my early 50s and have been medically retired for 10 years due to longstanding health and disability issues. I can't go for long walks, do pilates, ski, climb mountains etc, do use a walking stick sometimes and a mobility scooter sometimes (I advise you try this if you really want an insight into how elderly people are treated!). I first used a "zimmer frame" when I was 12 after surgery on my knees!

I'm not trying to be a snowflake here (wrong generation and don't like that term anyway because it's just reverse ageism) but please remember that some of us have never been able to be demonstrate our youth and vitality due to health limitations. I'm not looking for sympathy or pulling the "disability card" and I'm not trying to kill the thread but if we need to justify our presence by how many miles we can walk, or how "fit and healthy" we are it doesn't exactly make those of us who aren't feel great. It may be an overreaction because I'm having a particularly shitty and painful week - and I have been unable to do anything except sit on my arse and watch daytime tv (thank god for streaming so I'm not restricted to Escape to the Country and Homes under the Hammer!).

Just a MASO (any fellow 6 Music fans) to those of us who already feel like we're on the scrap heap health and employment wise - are we any less valuable than those who aren't? I'm genuinely interested and not trying to goady. How do we measure our contribution otherwise? It seems so many people get validation from their work or their ability to demonstrate that their bodies are not aging - how do others who can't do either of these get their validation?

Apologies if this is a bit too deep and I hope I'm not coming across as too bitter because I'm really not. I have, in my own way, come to terms with my premature retirement and try to see positives in my situation when I can. Ergo I will get back to watching The Indian Doctor on BBC with a nice cup of tea and a jaffa cake (no Werther's here at the moment) - actually some of these early afternoon dramas are quite enjoyable ....

According to my Grandmother, you are not old until the last person in the generation above you in your extended family dies
for her that was when she was 86

According to my Dad you are middle aged until your oldest child turns 50

According to my Nephew I became an OAP at 49

Tollergirl

@Tollergirl

I have to say that this thread is interesting but also quite upsetting in the way that all the over 50s are describing themselves by demonstration of their health, fitness and levels of activity eg I walk miles every day, do marathons, go skiing, etc

Thanks for posting this, you make some really interesting points. I think there is a pressure on Mumsnet to be (and I hate this phrase) living your best life whatever your age. Everyone seems to have gone (or have kids at) an RG university and have a career (except me!) and be on a well paid upward trajectory.

And usually when someone mentions they are 50+ they quickly add "but I look much younger" or "people are amazed when I tell them how old I am" as though it's a personal failure for women to look the age they are once they're over 30.

What really matters IMHO is that we have a vital inner spark and engage with life in whatever way we can and if that involves watching The Indian Doctor, then make room for me and I'll share your Jaffa cakes

@Tollergirl- I understand. I was one of the people who said I’d completed the marathon. Last year I could hardly walk because of arthritis in my hip. I was dragging myself slowly on crutches. It’s easy to get carried away now my joint has been replaced and forget how debilitating the pain was. I have a friend who uses a mobility scooter- she is the most creative, artistic, funny person I know, and she sings like an angel. It’s not all about physical strength at all; we all have so much left to give to society. , and maybe a for later?

Thanks @Joisanofthedales, @LaureBerthaud and @Imissmoominmama - that's very kind. I thought I'd got a bit serious and put a "RIP in the chat" as my 14 yr old would say!!!

Didn't mean to get all serious but sometimes I feel there is very much an emphasis on the physical aspects of keeping young as though that's all there is to it. Hopefully a curious mind and the acquisition of wisdom is worth something too (typing that has reminded me of my dear departed MIL who was an epic wise old owl with a cracking sense of humour even though from the outside she looked like an "old lady" which sometimes seems to be unforgivable particularly on S&B. She was an enduring reminder that you shouldn't judge people by their appearance - don't worry I'll stop there before I get all inspirational FB quotey!

Unfortunately I'm not allowed a due to medication but will have do have some alcohol free gin for a friday night (go me!!). I sometimes have a sherry (but only on my birthday or at Xmas) - don't want to disabuse my DC that I'm turning into Miss Marple (although she was wicked so I can live with that!)

I’m 54. Work full time. Main breadwinner. I have a 19 year old with some additional health needs who needs some support, a 16 year old just starting A levels and a 9 year old. I was astonished a few months back on a thread when many posters assumed if you were over 50 your active parenting was largely over with! I’m as needed as a parent now as much as ever. Probably more so. I also provide support for elderly, clinically vulnerable parents. I’m a bit overweight (but not obese and have no health issues). The idea that I should stay home for months on end during Covid would be laughable. As is the idea I’m some “old bag” (words I’ve seen used on here) waiting to shuffle off. Thanks for starting this thread.

It’s really interesting to read the comments about youthfulness/fitness. I’m fit for life and quite energetic. But don’t ever run anywhere these days. I have quite good skin for my age, but am under no illusions that I look younger than my years. I suspect I look a little “matronly” as my mum would say. What I pride myself on is a tolerant, liberal attitude that can sometimes be termed “a youthful outlook” and remaining interested in and engaged with the world. Health (and particularly cognitive health) permitting those things might see me into old age.

I'm 58. One adult DC.

I still work full time though I would quite like to retire next year if it is financially feasible. That wish is nothing really to do with me feeling old or decrepit but a combination of:

• DH is nearly 63 and feels ready to pack in and we would have more fun if we retired together

• I have lots of hobbies and things that I would like to give more time to
• Having observed extreme old age from a distance it does not look much fun so we want to make sure we retire when we will hopefully still have a few years to enjoy it

Despite writing upthread about bodyboarding and walking, I have lupus. I still do the activities though (and cold sea water helps inflammation). It seemed more pertinent and positive than saying " I retired early on a minuscule pension to look after my DH who got blood cancer. I used to be a charity director, working in neurological research - but of course, I am not any more".

@5foot5

I'm 58. One adult DC.

I still work full time though I would quite like to retire next year if it is financially feasible. That wish is nothing really to do with me feeling old or decrepit but a combination of:

• DH is nearly 63 and feels ready to pack in and we would have more fun if we retired together

• I have lots of hobbies and things that I would like to give more time to
• Having observed extreme old age from a distance it does not look much fun so we want to make sure we retire when we will hopefully still have a few years to enjoy it

I could have written this post word for word except that we don't have any DC and DH will be 68 when he retires at the end of next