To ask over 50s to check in to show we are not a separate breed of Mumsnetters

[LaureBerthaud]

COVID has really brought out the ageism on Mumsnet! Over 50s are not an homogeneous group sucking on our Werther's Originals longing for the social centre to re-open so we can resume whist drives and coach trips to outlet stores with a nice cafe attached!

I'm mum to DC who's taking their GCSEs next year and I will have to continue working to support them through uni and because I enjoy working AND I have a mortgage!

So stop trying to lock us down - the economy needs us as taxpayers and consumers!

I'm just over 50 and if I have inherited the right genes from the previous generation of women in my family I'm only half way though my life!

i hate that werthers advert with the granddad and his little grandson, is that still going?

51
Going against type, as am fucking knackered and look like a 65 year old.
3 children 14, 13, 10. Youngest is disabled.
Had to give up work at start of Lockdown to shield youngest. Dh is 51 and also knackered.
Both hate Werthers originals.

Over 50 here, work FT in an IT related role and main earner (especially tough now while self employed dh is struggling to find work during lockdown).

All the responsibilities and needs of those younger while coping with menopause symptoms, over 50 aches and pains, caring for my very frail elderly widowed mum who still lives alone and needs support with her finances/shopping/health and also supporting ds(16) studying for Scottish Highers this year.

I’ve never had werthers originals.

I am now saying what my mum used to say ‘I was young once you know - I wasn’t born 50!’

I suppose the ‘good’ thing is that I have age, and experience, and have dragged up a child, therefore no fucks given.

Me, front line NHS, worked right through lockdown with covid patients.
Caught it, survived it.
Have 3 DC at uni. DH is over 60 and works FT as a teacher.
I can cope with anything!

I'm 61, working at a temp job while searching for a real job, and helping my 87 year old father, who has just had a replacement heart valve fitted. There's plenty of life left in him let alone me! I agree with you OP - many posters have a seriously flawed view of anyone over 50. They accuse others of just about any other ism they can think of, and yet ageism is acceptable in their eyes.

54, moved back to UK last year. Have just got a job and start full time within the next couple of weeks hopefully. Dh 59, retired early, and he is very happy. Keep an eye on my Mum, who is 80. Have an almost 25 year old ds, who is job hunting.

I am well over 50, I ski and climb mountains occasionally, swim in the sea and ride a (non-electric) bike. I've travelled in India and trekked in New Zealand and was planning to hike in Canada this year until everything changed.

I also like cooking, gardening, sewing and my book group.

I am doing my best to exercise and maintain my fitness, and hope I can keep very active for as long as possible but I imagine that, as I get older, at some point I will find myself doing more of the second list of activities and less of the first.

Will that make me less worthy of respect?

It's great - and not at all surprising - to hear about women in their 50s and 60s leading active and often exciting lives.

However .. there's a message coming through from some of the posts that the lifestyles of some older women are less worthwhile. I've read negative comments about clothing choices like Hotter shoes, comfy trousers etc. They aren't my personal choice either but sneering at women who wear them .. isn't that being guilty of unthinking ageism too?

If we don't appreciate people in their twenties and thirties making negative comments about us, shouldn't we be careful not to denigrate the generation above us in a similar way? Certainly, I think a sense of adventure and openness to new experiences are admirable at any age and arguably especially to be celebrated in older people. But judging older people on their choice of clothes and how they spend their leisure time .. let's not be doing that.

Good point, Highlandcoo.

I hate the ‘Boomer attacks’ and how we’ve robbed the younger generation. Even though most of us are worried about the finances of our Millennialls.

I think it is a nasty place these days to older women. Real ageism and meaness.

I’ve been using it since I was 42. In 57 now, and find most of it depressing. But l seek out the nice threads like these.

I hope you're being sarcastic, DDIJ?

If you're not, please keep in mind that it's nothing personal. Either we are all worth saving or none of us are. It has to be all of us.

Maybe it’s always just been crappier for older women and we just didn’t see it?

60. Manage my rental properties. Look after my grandson twice weekly. Work part time at a school. Part time PA to 2 different self employed guys. Paint. Not over the hill yet.

I’m over 50. Youngest DC is 14. I’m a part time musician and regular gig goer, with a huge amount of tickets for punk gigs that are on hold. I’ve had cancer so I was shielding but I’m far from dead yet.

53,
3 school age DC, youngest is 12.
(we have GCSE and A levels this year)

Working, worked all through lock down (WFH).
I shopped all through lockdown for my family and 3 other families who were shielding, including my parents.

Never been on a coach trip and don't even like Werthers originals

What punk gigs Symphony? I have tickets on hold too.

Waiting to see The Jesus and Mary Chain.🎶

61 here. So nice to see names I recognise.
I feel the MIL threads are often just ageist attacks. Women over 50 are often described as if they were brought up in Victorian times. Horrible harridans who are itching to kidnap their grandchildren and smack the life out of them. slight exaggeration

Thanks to the kind words from posters about the death of my DD. I’m not quite the same and don’t think I will be quite the same again but huge improvements have been made. She would hate for me to be miserable. She was proud of my achievements in the field of rights for women workers within the trade union movement. I look back on that time and realise just how very hard it was as a young activist aged 21 in local government, there were approx 35 stewards and only 4 of us were women. One of those women is my closest friend to this day.

@LaureBerthaud YABU . You are elderley OP and should be taking it easy not tiring yourself out on the internet. Careful not to overdo it - although well done you for being able to work the computer and connect to the internet! You are very lucky you have a son/daughter willing to help you figure it all out

On a serious note YANBU. Although I should add as a millenial I was shocked to find out we are no longer young people they were talking about younger voters on the news and I realised they were talking about generation Z. So does that mean I need to crack open the Werthers Originals? (which fortunately I do like)

I'm 59. DC just started Uni. I work in a school. Used to love going out to pubs, restaurants etc. Not so much anymore though. Still enjoy going for long dog walks with DH. Survived cancer and some pretty awful other experiences too. I feel as relevant as anybody else.

54 work full time nights on an ICU. menopause and PPE wasnt fun back in March
Love cooking, eating out, travelling. have been all over the world apart from Germany weirdly
Last year Learning french and a new musical instrument
Other hobbies are Archery and walking
Not yet ready to relax into a recliner wearing a slanket

Have I missed the comments from MNHQ? They are uncharacteristically very quiet.