AIBU to think not all babies can be sleep trained or am I just not emotionally robust enough

[ItWasButIsNot]

Trying to sleep train my 11 mo. It's hard going and not going well. He does ok and then explodes into hysterical crying, choking, coughing. I pick him up at that point and he is still crying and whimpering. It is awful.

Is this everyone's experience who sleep trains or do some babies just not cope with it? If he was crying a bit but could be soothed I'd understand but this doesn't feel like that. This seems to me that he is terrified and extremely distressed. Or am I just being a big softie and I'm just not emotionally robust enough to deal with sleep training.

I do think as some of the PPs said that modern sleep training is much more gentle but the key is that you start much much earlier with patterns you want to encourage later. That way you're never at a point of suddenly withdrawing comfort, they simply already have what they need.

I am not ashamed to say I simply wouldn't be able to do it.

My baby cried, I jumped

I realised after my first that life (and infanthood particularly) is too short for 'sleep training' when the result is a distressed baby. It isn't forever. I actually co-slept with all of mine and despite the many warnings of 'making a rod for my own back,' they sleep fine by themselves.

I never contemplated sleep training for DS who is 2 and luckily sleeps well now but hasn't always been the case. I don't believe it's good for anyone to cry themselves to sleep. Hug your baby if they need it. That's not being a softie, it's called being responsive to your baby's needs.

He does ok and then explodes into hysterical crying, choking, coughing. I pick him up at that point and he is still crying and whimpering.
Wow, why would you do this to your beloved child? You wouldn’t even do it to a dog.

My DC never slept, never settled unless touching me. I bought a full size bed so I could get in to cuddle and go to sleep myself if necessary. Some nights I had to get in several times, other nights there was no problem till maybe 2am. The situation gradually improved over time. I would never leave someone I loved to cry themselves to sleep, that’s awful.

We had two separate sleep specialists try to help us and both gave up.
He’s now 9 and is prescribed melatonin but even so some nights he still really struggles. It’s 2:35am and I’m sitting with him wide awake. He’s been awake since 00:30. Thank you lockdown.
Usually he sleeps 9pm to 7am (thank you melatonin) but is living proof that not all kids can be sleep trained.

Totally disagree with the method. Try reading the gentle sleep book. I don’t get the obsession with trying to get babies to sleep through when they aren’t designed to. Xxx