To think I some people have really got it right! BUT HOW?

[whalesandsharks]

So as the title says...

A few couples I know (all mid 30s-40's)
Seem to have it all sorted very fast...they are set up so well that they aren't exactly rich per se but are "untouchable" (for want of a better word!)

Two examples are...

One couple...she works part time...2 days a week (in a professional role) and they have 2 rental properties (not big ones, two apartments) that he mostly manages.
They have no mortgages which helps massively I know!! But all parents are still around so no inheritances as such.

Another couple...he works part time doing odd jobs (plastering of a shed, tiling a floor etc) and she is a teacher working a 3 day week. Again no mortgage....

They all have dc, how have they done this?? They have skipped through the pandemic untouched, nothing changed.
Here's me and dh working out asses off in 9-5 jobs, one dc(can't afford another one right now!), renting (can't afford to save) dh was furloughed and had just got back to full pay and then yesterday I was told I am getting made redundant 😫

I know I'm venting but how have they done this, is there a magic trick I don't know of?? These people didn't attend private schools and lived in the same village as me growing up. I am at a loss as to where I went wrong!

The key is no mortgage. If they had help from family to buy (doesn't have to be inheritance from parents, could be a gift from them or another family member) and either never had a mortgage or such a small one they paid it off early, then that would explain their relative wealth.

You're finding that you rent is a huge expense that prevents you saving for your own home. Remember that the rent per month is usually higher than the mortgage per month for that property (because you are paying the landlord's mortgage, plus his profit).

The key is to get hold of a decent chunk of money early on in adulthood. Inheritance, gift, lottery win - if you are a mortgage-free homeowner by your 30s, you are set for life in comparison to most people.

If they live mortgage free someone, somewhere has had capital to put down.

You haven't gone wrong!

It's old advice but focus on what you can do in your own life and let go any feelings of envy. It's an unproductive dead end.

I know two families in this position (ordinary background, mid-30s, no mortgage).
One had testicular cancer and a very good critical illness insurance policy payout.
The other won a million pounds on the lottery and only told a handful of people.

Not much point wasting your energy being envious of people in different circumstances though.

Very sorry about your redundancy, I've been in the same position and it's horrible. Good luck finding something else soon.

Parental help too. We have also been find during the pandemic but I’d be lying if I said this was due purely down to hard work.

We have careers that the pandemic hasn’t affected. And we have these careers because my family provided free childcare whilst we studied, and my dad paid for my university so I don’t have student loans.

We had children young and had to rent - tinge reason we own is because we got gifted £10,000 of my parents and the also let us live with them rent free for 6 months whilst we saved up more.

We have worked hard but we’ve had lots or help and support which has allowed us to reach This position

Parental help early on the property ladder (or from some other source)

I’m also sorry to say that it’s, once again, the lower socio-economic groups that have been hammered by this pandemic. The office-working, middle class jobs have continued. ‘‘Twas ever thus.

I'm early 40s, amongst my friends there's a sharp divide mostly related to house prices and when people bought. A few were in relationships young and bought pre 2000 when you could buy a new build in the area we grew up in for less than 30k. Some others bought soon after when banks were throwing 100+% mortgages at people so never had to save a deposit and have been benefiting from low interest rates since. Those who had to spend years saving a deposit and buy at a higher price are much less comfortable. The only real difference between these groups is timing, mostly down to when people met long term partners, not hard work or planning.

I'm assuming that this is a situation where you don't know all the facts. It seems a bit odd that you know the financial status of all your friends and whether they pay mortgages or not etc. It's simply not possible for a 40yo couple to own three properties mortgage-free paid for entirely from their own income without them working bloody hard in a very high-paid job.

Did they buy really young? Dh and I rented a box room for a year in order to save our deposit but it meant we could buy at 23. It was quite hellish (used to have to take turns to stand up to dress) but no way could we have saved a deposit while renting a whole flat/house.

We are probably seen on the outside like this.
I don’t work - kids at primary school, DH in a trendy job, no mortgage on a two bed flat With garden in London.

Reality- I can’t work due to chronic pain, need help getting out of bed etc
Lived with family until late twenties and started saving everything we could as soon as we finished uni.
Parents leased equity in their home and give it to us to pay off the mortgage - there will be no inheritance later on.
We’re about to move and rent our current place out so will have a mortgage again.

The people I know who are doing well financially either bought homes when they were cheap, had financial help or a big inheritance, or had council properties so had cheap rent that allowed them to save. But as people have said, you don't always know the full picture.

@CruzControl they never had high paying jobs to be honest. I only know they have no mortgage because I overheard her say to her dh something about one of the properties taking longer to close and she couldn't understand because it's a cash offer like the last time! Those words never really left my head...I know I shouldn't hold to things like that but I'm having a hard time I suppose. She worked full time before they had dc I suppose but I'm guessing on an average of 30k and he worked in several hands on type jobs. Brick work etc...

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz they bought in their 20's I think

There are lots of things you can't necessarily tell from here.

For example, I think as a rule any couples who get together quite young, seem to generate more wealth long term. Two salaries, few expenses (which are often lower on a per-person basis if they're living together than for individuals), mean they buy their first house much younger. So longer time to pay off the mortgage - with opportunities to overpay before kids and other costs come along - plus benefits from long term property increases if thy've bought 15 years ago or whatever.

Are you sure you really know what their financial position is? I know when we were at our worst (really struggling) 10+ years ago, nobody would have known. We had a nice house, nice car, owned rental property etc. but went through a patch where we couldn't pay our bills and were drowning in debt. To the onlooker though I'm sure everything looked just fine. It's not the kind of thing people discuss is it? Even my best friends, siblings etc. didn't know.

This time we did skip through the pandemic untouched due to the business we're in, but it really hasn't all been plain sailing. People don't always have it as good as you think they do.

Also maybe if they're working part-time they have some kind of "side hustle" that you don't know of? A lot of people make money from home these days on the side. I've been doing it for years and very few people beyond my parents know how much I earn.

@diamondpony80 they are not extravagant at all, they have 10 year old cars as such,I know one of them is adverse to car payments etc she hates the thought of debt so I'm assuming (perhaps wrongly) that she wouldn't put herself in that position.

I have realised that they are not big spenders to be honest! I suppose that helps them save. They don't buy clothes that much for their dc, they get all hand downs from friends and siblings.

These people, unless they're investment bankers with bonuses the size of my entire mortgage, have ALWAYS been given money. Either a direct gift/inheritance or able to live rent free with family for long enough to save a lot. And now they get to accumulate even more money from their tenants who don't have those advantages. Money attracts more money like a giant shiny magnet - it's why the gap between rich and poor is getting bigger. It's not something you're doing wrong and I hate that people in that position are always described as having "worked hard" as though everyone else is just sitting around twiddling their thumbs.

I'm really sorry about your redundancy.

My husband and I could be said to be in a great position, we have an affordable mortgage on a nice house, I work FT, dh us part time and also carer around school for ds. We got together young (I was 21), saved like crazy and bought our first house when I was 25 with a 20k deposit we have saved by living vey frugally. Then my carer took off, children were delayed and we didn't spend a lot so when they came along we had a safety net. I took 5 months off work then back on full pay and we managed to buy a bigger house without increasing our mortgage.
So being together so long, always living a frugal life, having children later (and as the main earner not taking a long time off) as helped. We also had twins so 2 for 1.
Now we are comfortable, my work is covid secure (I'm an accountant in a boring industry) so we're OK. But I wouldn't wish the child issues (we adopted in the end) and worrying about money on anyone.

Things might not look so rosy for them if property prices drop, further I think we can expect a big shift in the way the economy is structured because of covid, things which seemed untouchable will crumble, whodathought airlines cinemas pubs and restaurants would collapse, humans innovate it's their superpower, new things will spring up

I am almost in the situation you describe.
I have always worked even at uni so came out with no debt (anyone over 40 got free tuition frees and a grant which will have helped this) . I didn’t go on expensive holidays or drink during my 20s and was on a solid wage in a public service job.

All the people I know who earn good wages and struggle with money have spent it profligately in their 20s. Our neighbours who often complain they have less money than us spent around 40k on holidays in their twenties. This amount would have considerably reduced their mortgage enabling them to pay less interest overall.

I think it's a case of having family money with one or both of a couple coming from a wealthy background.

I know someone who has just turned 30: she has wealthy parents and she and her husband have a barn conversion on land her parents own. Her parents paid the cost of building works and so she has no mortgage. Her eldest daughter is at private school (youngest isn't school age yet), for which fees are paid by her parents. Her parents also buy her gifts regularly such as designer bags and shoes.

She works as a lash technician from home a couple of days a week, whilst her parents provide free childcare. Her husband works in an office. The husband was furloughed during lockdown, and of course she could not work due to not being allowed to do beauty treatments.

They are totally untouched by the whole lockdown/furloughed situation financially. Having wealthy, generous parents really does set you up for life!

I don’t think it’s about working hard at all, I think it’s a mixture of luck, a 10k inheritance at the right time for example, spending and family support. (We pay extra off our mortgage and don’t have a lot of savings) as we have parents who could help us if we got into financial difficulties.

I don't cone from family money, we didn't have enough for shoes and I was homeless at 18, working 3 jobs while doing my a levels. What I had was drive and I paid for myself to go to uni, took the minimum loan which I repaid by 27. No one told me I couldn't live at the ymca and do a levels and then apply to uni so I did. This is my hidden past which you wouldn't guess from seeing my life now.

Our financial situation has changed drastically in the last 5 years, and we now own several properties mortgage free.

All down to starting a business, building it up and selling it. Up until the point of selling it a few years ago, we were, not skint, but certainly watching the pennies.

A PP is right, when used sensibly, money attracts more money. With some sensible investments, we are now earning a good passive income from that lump sum of money from the sale of the business.