To think I some people have really got it right! BUT HOW?

[whalesandsharks]

So as the title says...

A few couples I know (all mid 30s-40's)
Seem to have it all sorted very fast...they are set up so well that they aren't exactly rich per se but are "untouchable" (for want of a better word!)

Two examples are...

One couple...she works part time...2 days a week (in a professional role) and they have 2 rental properties (not big ones, two apartments) that he mostly manages.
They have no mortgages which helps massively I know!! But all parents are still around so no inheritances as such.

Another couple...he works part time doing odd jobs (plastering of a shed, tiling a floor etc) and she is a teacher working a 3 day week. Again no mortgage....

They all have dc, how have they done this?? They have skipped through the pandemic untouched, nothing changed.
Here's me and dh working out asses off in 9-5 jobs, one dc(can't afford another one right now!), renting (can't afford to save) dh was furloughed and had just got back to full pay and then yesterday I was told I am getting made redundant 😫

I know I'm venting but how have they done this, is there a magic trick I don't know of?? These people didn't attend private schools and lived in the same village as me growing up. I am at a loss as to where I went wrong!

I bought a flat in my early 20s. I am now 53. I had full mortgage from my full time teaching job. It was a rubbish area of London. Then it gentrified a bit, prices went up, and we moved a long way away from London, and bought a large detached house with the price from the flat.

We have been mortgage free for 10 years, so I was 43 when we bought this house.
being mortgage free is such a huge difference in terms of money.
Dh and I both work in charity/volunteer roles, which pay zero or very little. we can do that because we have no mortgage.

Sometimes it is just timing.

So this is is
Secrets:
Saved up 2.5k from age 15-18 working part time
Bought a house age 18
Mortgage finished by age 42
Both in low income jobs, 3 children = quite a lot of tax credits, small amount of maintenance paid our mortgage and bills for many years
Now I work part time minimum wage, DH full time, a trade around £23k
But we have very low bills, no mortgage, frugal shopping, always buy bargains and in sales, So we wear branded clothes and shoes but all bought for half price or less
We have a high disposable income
No inheritance and no help from family, so it can be done
Look after the pennies and the pounds look after themselves

I think you're missing quite a key part from your instructions here, @mummiepig: be born at the right time. A teenager now wouldn't be able to save much more than that from part-time work but they would be laughed out of a bank if they tried to buy property on the basis of that deposit, and an 18 year old would find it very hard to get a mortgage at all.

People probably view DH and I as a watered down version of this. We are early 30s, in a big 4 bed in the south east, with a relatively low mortgage. I work part time and we are actually better off post Covid than before, as we are now saving around £6,000 of post tax income previously spent on commuting (we are now wfh).

How?

Good jobs. We are probably both paid 50% more than friends would guess.

We never took our feet off the gas in our twenties. No gap years, no travelling, not a huge amount spent on meals out or clothes or cars etc. Save save save.

Well timed help from parents. £15k towards house deposit went a long way 10 years ago. That first step on the ladder is what sets you up for the future.

We didnt have kids until recently.

I think that buying somewhere before you have children puts you ahead of the game, as your needs are completely different.

In our case we bought a tiny one bedroom flat. We didn't need more space, a garden or to be near schools. We then rented it out while we worked abroad, then sold for a profit to buy a three bedroom cottage which needed renovating. At the time we had three DC's under 5! I think for many people it is just a series of small steps, particularly if you start young. DH & I bought that first flat aged 23 & 24.

As you say, when you have children and are renting it is incredibly hard to save anything.

My 17 year old earned over £5k last year working part time, spent the lot on clothes
Other dd boyfriend received £26k tax free doing a PGCE while living at home last year, but spent it on iPhones, designer clothes, sports equipment etc
It can be done!
I used to earn £2.24 an hour
Dd rate is around £8.50

I dislike the "accumulate as many properties as possible" mantra because it disadvantages those in less fortunate circumstances & not because they don't work as hard.

Friend A was helped by parents onto the ladder in London age 22, now lives in a 1m property with a small mortgage. earns about 40k as a copywriter & has a great work, life balance.

Friend B, zero help and couldn't even live at home to save up so only bought recently. Property was about 600k it's small and with a massive mortgage. Earns 6 figures as a lawyer, dreadful work life balance.

You are absolutely kidding yourself if you think you can buy a house on the basis of your part-time work as a teenager in 2020.

I think as someone else mentioned its down to timing. We bought our first home when i was 21 DH 22. When prices where reasonably cheap. We have only 10 years left on mortgage. I work part time, 2 children and 2 cars. We are by no means minted but with low mortgage costs means we can afford for me not to work full time so no childcare fees

Just looked on rightmove, 2 bed terrace in our area £100-£130k
If dd saves £10k boyfriend £20k from PGCE
£30k deposit on say £115 house
Can be done
Problem is they don’t want to save, latest iPhone, Apple Watch, brand new car, designer clothes, gym membership they never use
The list goes on

It's quite a niche and fortunate position to get over 20k for doing a PGCE. Those bursaries only exist because of shortage. By definition it isn't going to be an option for more than a handful.

[quote Dillo10]@toffeekiwi I'm sure lots of people are mortgage free in their 50's and beyond (assuming this from your post) and that's not what the OP is talking about. These couples are younger and haven't been paying their mortgages off for 30 years! I'd bloody hope to be mortgage free by then[/quote]
I don't think it's that common any more TBH, most people I know my age still have mortgages as they moved up from their first house to buy bigger and bigger houses, a colleague has just bought a house costing 900k in the Welsh/English borders; she's going to be paying the mortgage when she's in retirement. I think she's mad, there are only 3 of them and they don't need a house that size.

I think it sometimes works the other way too.

One of our DC has worked since in law since university and met his partner (also a lawyer) at 32. So both had 10 years of good wages under their belts and property each before they met. They are getting married next year and now live together so one property has been sold and the profits invested. They have a good life in an expensive city.

I am still working at late 50's. I like working and although its now part time I was full on for nearly 40 years. My siblings one of whom 'retired' at 46 moved to a very cheap part of the world so is living on profits of their house sale and a very small private pension still puts her hands out for contributions when something for our parents needs to be funded.

Says they dont have any spare cash and could I pay for it as I am still working. Well, I would think not bearing in mind you 'retired' at 46!!

Do remember though, someone else could be looking at your life and thinking ""how has whalesandsharks got it sorted. She's got a lovely husband, and had a kid no problem (apologies I have no idea if thats true or not but its how it might seem) and they seem to have no problems parenting him and they are able to rent a lovely house and she's so slim/has siuch great hair/nice skin (whatever it is about your looks other people envy. You might not see it youself but there will be something). And she got made redundant but at least she is married so they have the one income still"

I don't mean any of the above in a harsh "how dare you complain. You should be GREATFUL you don't live in Syria" way. Its normal to feel stressed by how shit everything is at the moment, and its fine to moan about losing your job. Its also fine to be curious about the people you know who are morgage free. But don't let yourself feel bad/lesser for not being in their position basically.

raspberrymuffin
These people, unless they're investment bankers with bonuses the size of my entire mortgage, have ALWAYS been given money. Either a direct gift/inheritance or able to live rent free with family for long enough to save a lot.

Utter bull crap.

Some people live frugally all their lives allowing them to buy even in the south east. Some live in cheaper areas. Some bought young and single so didn't wait to couple up to buy. Some coupled up and bought.

I bought in the southeast aged 24 as a working single mum. My friends who had better jobs at the time could have done the same but had many reasons for not doing so. I am now mortgage free even though Im a full time carer on carers allowance, as I moved to a cheaper area that allowed me to have a 3 bed house mortgage free. My original house was not super cheap either.

Like others have said it will be a combination of money management, planning, luck and timing with regards to house prices and mortgages. Hard work as well. Yes some get parental help or inheritance but many do not.

Flirty has put it much better than I did! I wasnt given anything, brought up by a single parent and although we werent on the bread line we didnt have any spare money. When I got married my DM looked at our very small wedding gift list and brought us a fitted sheet!

What has helped us as others have mentioned is getting onto the housing ladder early (me at 23, DH at 24), both 1 bed flats and then coming together in mid 30's and combining our income, not going part time, not having children without careful consideration.

Some people make very poor choices and want money to spend NOW. No one needs the latest Apple phone or massive fxxk off Range Rover but some people want to get these things as a show of their status.

My parents are very very frugal yet they have money - they also both worked full time. They choose not to spend it though.

Thanks for this thread OP. I've been really guilty of comparing myself unfavourably to others recently as I have the smallest house on our estate.

I have worked since 13, went to uni, worked hard with no breaks but I studied the wrong thing (dying industry - always employed but only around £20k) and then had to split with XH (money which I had put into his property wasn't recoverable) and was left a single mum working fulltime. No parental help with childcare so childcare was £££ and impossible to save anything until DS was at school. I do get maintenance but it just pays for the child, no savings. Have never had any family help. Not even for uni.

I look at the people around me and feel so inferior.

I guess it's being in a couple, being bright and confident enough to be a higher earner, making lucky/informed choices and having family money/inheritances.

I am blessed with having none of these

[quote whalesandsharks]@CruzControl they never had high paying jobs to be honest. I only know they have no mortgage because I overheard her say to her dh something about one of the properties taking longer to close and she couldn't understand because it's a cash offer like the last time! Those words never really left my head...I know I shouldn't hold to things like that but I'm having a hard time I suppose. She worked full time before they had dc I suppose but I'm guessing on an average of 30k and he worked in several hands on type jobs. Brick work etc...[/quote]
They could have paid cash the first time, then mortgaged that place to release cash, and used that cash to buy the second property. Both would have been bought cash but not both would be owned outright.

Im 34 and we bought our first property 10 years ago. we worked our back sides off. Everything was second hand, i remember at one point i looked around the room and there was no furniture that we had bought from a shop. When the kids arrived again things we had where hand me downs or bought on ebay. Kids never went without but even toys and prams were second hand. We budgeted and saved and saved. Both kids spent time at my parents and pt nursery whilst we worked. I had a professional job but dh was training on the job. We had paid our three bed terraced house off in 6 years. Dh now earns more than i do and i work pt. We carried on saving and then bought our large semi last year with a smaller mortgage than the first. Now we are a lot more comfortable and i suppose on the outside it looks like we have it easy, but we started our married life early and so had a little head start compared to my friends. Life was tough but we stuck it out and worked together.

In my 20s, I lived abroad a lot, as well as in London. Always flatshared even when I was somewhere cheap so managed to save a bit. Eventually priced out of London.
I bought a house when I was 29 for 60k (Liverpool, 2004). Met DH and had DD1 (this happened very quickly ) when I was 32. Finished paying off the house in 2009.
DH had bought a house for 75k (Sheffield 1999) when he was 30. Finished paying off house in 2007, just after DD1 was born. Sold it for 78k soon after and moved in with us. I sold my house in 2010 for 62k.
We bought a house for 160k together and paid the remainder off over the next three years.

So, no parental help, lottery wins or stock market involved. However, I realise I've been lucky in other ways. For example, the unplanned pregnancy of DD1 could have been very bad indeed but, luckily, DH is a good guy. There was every chance he might not have been. We're both paid okay. He's on about average salary for the UK and I'm on slightly more.

I've got friends from fairly rich families who've bought in London or SE and are mortgage free on a 500k house aged 45. They're well paid but not THAT well paid. They've had a lot of help from parents and grandparents, although that's usually glossed over.

Agree some of it is timing. I was 21yo earning 10k a year when I bought my first house which cost 32k. I paid that mortgage off after 5 years. Mainly with a compensation pay out I got.

My sister and BIL are mortgage free. He inherited money from an uncle. They don’t tend to talk about it so I doubt their friends know where the money came from. They are both highly qualified but quit their managerial type jobs to work as teaching assistants. They decided they wanted to work to live not live to work.

I know two friends who are mortgage free without parental money/lottery wins/inheritance/top earner jobs. They both lived pretty frugally when they were young (when I and most of our friends were spending whatever was in our pockets on having a good time). They lived in less than ideal situations (one with a DP in one room of a flat share for 6 years, the other lived at home with her parents and commuted 3-4 hours a day) working in London earning London salaries and saved the money the rest of were spending on London rent and going out. Then they moved to cheaper areas (Sheffield and Leeds) and bought places either cash or with a low mortgage they soon paid off.

The rest of us have traveled more, drunk more, had new cars, expensive weddings, and much nicer living arrangements in our teens/20s. But we're mostly paying mortgages now. Timing helped but it was largely down to their priorities.

These people, unless they're investment bankers with bonuses the size of my entire mortgage, have ALWAYS been given money. Either a direct gift/inheritance or able to live rent free with family for long enough to save a lot.

Not the case for us, we were teenage parents who bought in 1999 just before our first DC was born.
Have taken a some big risks over the years which paid off and were in a position to be helping out family and friends. We count our blessings daily, things could have worked out very differently for us.

@Drivingbuttercup

Im 34 and we bought our first property 10 years ago. we worked our back sides off. Everything was second hand, i remember at one point i looked around the room and there was no furniture that we had bought from a shop. When the kids arrived again things we had where hand me downs or bought on ebay. Kids never went without but even toys and prams were second hand. We budgeted and saved and saved. Both kids spent time at my parents and pt nursery whilst we worked. I had a professional job but dh was training on the job. We had paid our three bed terraced house off in 6 years. Dh now earns more than i do and i work pt. We carried on saving and then bought our large semi last year with a smaller mortgage than the first. Now we are a lot more comfortable and i suppose on the outside it looks like we have it easy, but we started our married life early and so had a little head start compared to my friends. Life was tough but we stuck it out and worked together.

That turned out to be fortunate timing too, there was a bit of a dip in 2009-10. I know quite a few older millennials who got on the property ladder then and have been served well by it.