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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder what you think of this article?

37 replies

HMPorMyOwnP · 07/10/2020 00:05

www.glasgowtimes.co.uk/news/18678128.died-lost-happiness---glasgow-woman-launches-treeclimbing-social-enterprise-10-years-attempt-end-life/

It's about a friend of mine...there were bits of her story that were left out and she wonder what the overall impression is despite the fact that the whole story wasn't told....

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famousforwrongreason · 07/10/2020 00:12

I don’t really get the question.
Am I meant to feel anything other than ‘good for her’? And to hope it inspires and motivates people who might have felt similar?
It’s very much a story of triumph over adversity and celebrating mental and physical healing through determination and healthy pursuits.
I’m clearly missing something.

Original poster
HMPorMyOwnP · 07/10/2020 00:19

No, it absolutely is. But the other part of the story was that she didn't just have a break down because her mother died. Loads of people's mothers die, and that isn't enough over send them over the edge. There was more to the story, and I think she worries that anyone reading that story would feel that perhaps it seems like an overreaction? So she feels a bit like....if people read it, and get in touch for example, does she need to clarify/justify the story with the whole picture.

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DizzyPigeon · 07/10/2020 00:21

I think she's done amazingly well to overcome, not only the depression, but the physical difficulties she has as a result of her suicide attempt.

I'm sure hearing her story will be really helpful to people facing challenges.

Original poster
HMPorMyOwnP · 07/10/2020 00:23

I have advised her against going any further to try and get some "right" picture out there; that this is enough. But the more people who read it, the more she feels like she needs to justify and explain if that makes sense?

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Original poster
HMPorMyOwnP · 07/10/2020 00:24

Even just 2 reactions like the ones above are something I can show her....like no one so far has said anything along the lines of "That's not a good enough reason etc."

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DizzyPigeon · 07/10/2020 00:25

Honestly, I think the 'why' bit of the story is the least important. It doesn't matter why someone gets to that point. What matters is they know there's hope.

In fact, had you asked me to retell her story based on the article, I would have missed that bit out entirely.

Leaannb · 07/10/2020 00:26

The loss of your mother is definitely enough to send anyone over the edge. People deal with things differently. Give her a hug and tell her not to worry

Original poster
HMPorMyOwnP · 07/10/2020 00:26

Yeah, exactly, and i think that is absolutely the bit that the journalist who wrote it focussed on....and judging by these responses, quite rightly.

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Original poster
HMPorMyOwnP · 07/10/2020 00:27

Sorry - message was for Dizzy but thanks leaanb, I will!

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PerkingFaintly · 07/10/2020 00:29

My reaction is: "What a fabulous woman!"

Original poster
HMPorMyOwnP · 07/10/2020 00:29

I'm definitely going to tell her that Perking!

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Tuliptulip · 07/10/2020 00:30

I completely missed the reason she had the breakdown - people have breakdowns for lots of reasons, but it’s what happens after that that matters. I just thought it was a really positive story!

user1473878824 · 07/10/2020 00:32

She sounds amazing. What a wonderful person to know. I wouldn’t have even thought that your mother dying wouldn’t seem “enough” to push you to that point but it’s always terrifying when you’re in the paper. She shouldn’t worry and should be very proud.

Original poster
HMPorMyOwnP · 07/10/2020 00:34

I think the issue is the charity she has started wants to do something for a certain group of people, ie children and young people who have experienced certain problems. And she herself has experienced similar problems to the group she is trying to target. But none of that was written about in the article. So she tells people, or doesn't tell them, but from scratch as it were?

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PerkingFaintly · 07/10/2020 00:34

I agree, quite right that the journalist focussed on what she's doing now.

That's what this particular piece is about.

I'm not trying to minimise the importance of the rest of her story to her, simply that this is a piece about, as a PP excellently put it, "celebrating mental and physical healing through determination and healthy pursuits."

Original poster
HMPorMyOwnP · 07/10/2020 00:35

You don't have to experience something personally of course to try to help people who have. But if you also have then should that be public domain?

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PerkingFaintly · 07/10/2020 00:40

So she tells people, or doesn't tell them, but from scratch as it were?

She can pick and choose who to tell what, as appropriate.

She doesn't owe an account of herself to the world in general; if she chooses to share things with some individuals because she thinks it will help them, that's up to her. And she's entitled not to tell people if she would prefer not to.

PerkingFaintly · 07/10/2020 00:42

For example, if she suffered a particular type of bullying, or abuse, then she's allowed to help other people experiencing that without disclosing her own experience.

Her actions will always be informed by that experience, and she may be able to help people more because her personal knowledge.

But she's not duty-bound to disclose it.

amusedtodeath1 · 07/10/2020 00:44

I think she's amazing and tbh reading between the lines I sort of thought there would be more to the story. As PPs have said it doesn't really matter though, what's important is her triumph over adversity and all the good she is doing for others.

She should share if she feels the situation warrants it and she is comfortable with that but she definitely shouldn't feel obliged to.

WorraLiberty · 07/10/2020 00:44

I'm sorry, I can't get over £25 to climb a tree for an hour Shock

I know it says all 'profits' go to charity but do her and her DP claim expenses first as a wage? Or do they have separate jobs/careers?

To answer your question, no I don't think it should necessarily be in the public domain as I don't think people wanting to book a climbing experience, would see that as something crucial. It's completely your friend's call.

Glad she got her life back on track Thanks

Original poster
HMPorMyOwnP · 07/10/2020 00:48

Worra, I'm glad you mentioned that. I initially thought the same, and it's not just her price point but the same price as her nearest competition in the region. But that I had a closer look at what is involved....the Fb page of the business is public, so I'm going to share a post from there but after I'd really be pleased to hear what you think then:

www.facebook.com/treetoprocks/posts/356404132391173

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Original poster
HMPorMyOwnP · 07/10/2020 00:50

It takes 4 hours to set up a tree for climbing if 3 people do it. So before a single penny has changed hands, 12 hours work has been done....

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Bouledeneige · 07/10/2020 00:51

The story is fine. There's no need for anyone to know more of the story and no need to put anything in the 'public domain.' I run a charity and I'm very aware of founders of charities wanting to tell every single detailed step of the way and every part of their story - but its not necessary. In fact I think more of the story should be about what the social enterprise is hoping to offer to potential clients and users of the service and the charitable purposes than it being all about the founder. Every user of the service will have a different story and life experience and they need to be heard and listened to and helped. In the future the users may suggest other services or support that could mean adapting and changing the organisation - something that founders can find difficult if its not part of their story.

In the nicest possible way - its not all about the founder - its about the benefits and outcomes for others. I know that sounds mean - I don't intend it to be.

Original poster
HMPorMyOwnP · 07/10/2020 00:52

To answer your question about salaries, the way a CIC works is that salaries are paid, and the costs are taken off for however much everything costs (equipment, insurance, etc) and then the profits are sectioned off, and used, for whatever the CIC has said it will do.

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Original poster
HMPorMyOwnP · 07/10/2020 00:53

Bouledeneige that's a really good point.

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