To wonder what you think of this article?

[HMPorMyOwnP]

www.glasgowtimes.co.uk/news/18678128.died-lost-happiness---glasgow-woman-launches-treeclimbing-social-enterprise-10-years-attempt-end-life/

It's about a friend of mine...there were bits of her story that were left out and she wonder what the overall impression is despite the fact that the whole story wasn't told....

With all the bad news about Covid, it was wonderfully refreshing to read something so positive!

It was so inspiring. It would never have occurred to me to question her 'reason'. Losing a parent is always deeply painful for anyone, but also severe depression in itself is a very difficult adversity to overcome.

I wish her lots of luck with the venture. It sounds like such fun.

Would you think more or less of the person if for example the story included something less media-positive, like say, she'd been in jail or in a gang, or something (she hasn't; it's an example)? That's what the crux of my question gets down to....

I was only paying attention to what she'd done after she survived. I didn't really notice the event which had preceded her suicide attempt.

Sometimes there are specific experiences which lead to depression and anxiety, but some people just have depression and anxiety regardless of their life situation. Certainly if one was already prone to depression, then losing a loved one could create a tipping point. Never in a million years would I think it was an "overreaction".

I didn’t give a second thought to it ‘only’ being her mums death. Overall impression was ‘good for her!’.

Depression and suicidality isn’t tidily packaged to correlate neatly with a sliding of awful life events. Some folks have no awful life events and are suicidal. Can’t believe anyone would think she was a wimp because it suggests she had a dark time after mums death or would see her differently if they knew there were ten other awful things or none at all. Still good on her. Great to see her give hope to others!

I’d think she’s overcome adversity and build a life she enjoys and is trying to help others. She could have been a kitten murderer in her darkest moments. But she isn’t now and she’s trying to help folk. Good on her!

"Would you think more or less of the person if for example the story included something less media-positive" I would think more of her. People are complex. It is wonderful to see that someone who has been in a tough situation - maybe one in which others look down on them - has managed somehow to come out of it.

The exception would be if she had done something which I personally found unforgivable. Then I would think less of her. There aren't many things on my list though!

Saracen, thank you, that is a good point. And I actually think your reaction is what most people think .As far as my friend is concerned, she said something that summed it up well: If you commit suicide successfully, people mourn you and talk of how sad they are, but if you try and fail, you have to deal with so much anger about how you hurt those around you, by your selfish actions, and they DO tell you in no uncertain terms. That is what she feels she has experienced by people close to her; she had to deal with people telling her how much pain, hurt, worry, she caused, as well as in my friend's case, physical injuries that then get almost relegated to the "you brought it on yourself" category. Her attempted suicide has become in her eyes a failing of personality that she gave into...and has to justify

Sorry - slow typing. all good points, but only responded to the one I read. Read the rest now and appreciate all.

I moved right past the reasons for the suicide attempt into the body of the story. I really don’t think it’s important to know more about why she wanted to end her life. Arguably the journalist could simply have not mentioned any reasons.

Your friend sounds warm, strong and brave. I hope her business goes well, climbing is a wonderful activity.

You are saying there are parts missing that you feel may alter perception.
I suppose that depends on the individuals personal views.
If she was addicted to drugs with her her young child to look after the attempted suicide then that might change some people's opinion slightly but who cares if it does.
We all have a past it's what we do with the present that counts

It sounds like she’s faced a great deal of adversity, overcome it, and now wants to help others - all great things. Not for a moment while reading the article did I think ‘she didn’t have a good enough reason to attempt to take her own life’ - I think most people would understand and accept that she had been in a very dark place and has now turned that into something incredibly positive. It’s something to admire, not criticise.

Ah I wrote and deleted something last night because I thought maybe I was going off on my own little fugue – but actually it sounds she's exactly where I thought she was.

I completely get that continual need to justify oneself. There's something in my life that I look back on as The Mistake. It's become a sort of origin myth for me: the moment I failed, following which I've spent decades judging myself and feeling I have to justify or expiate my actions.

I've only recently come to grips with the fact that the people I know now just don't care about it. Yes, it was a major step on the road to where I am now, but for most people it's simply irrelevant: they're dealing with me in the now and the now is all they want to know.

I want to say something about how it's a waste of time and energy judging oneself like this, but I know how annoying it is when people blithely say that! Easy for others to say!

Also, maybe that self-assessment is something I did have to go through, and now keep for occasional re-inspection in a locked box, in order to make any sense of my life at all.

But it certainly doesn't define who I am now, even though it caused who I am now. Because I did, after all, get a future, and I have to live that and make a me fit for the now – not just loop back to The Mistake as my eternal point of reference.

Also, is she doing that thing of: "Those internet sprites are saying I'm great, but that's because they don't have the true picture. If only they knew the whole story they wouldn't like me at all"?

Because I've felt like that. And a lot of the time it isn't true. Unless it involved child abuse, most people are unlikely to see it as a big deal.

Other people perpetually surprise me with what they get judgey about. The things I judge myself harshly for, they're utterly unbothered about. Things I think are OK (not letting them "do me a favour" by driving me somewhere I don't want to go), they lose their minds about. [shrug]

I guess the truism is, well, true: most people just don't give thinking about other people that much bandwidth – and what they do think is largely filtered through their own concerns and preoccupations. So you can't put too much weight on their judgement anyway.

Sorry, that's a rather incoherent brain dump.

Summed up best by for your friend, and all best wishes for her for carrying on doing exactly what it sounds like she's doing so brilliantly – but without the self-condemnation!