Teenage daughter is being threatened

[Scaredmumhelp]

My dd got into an argument yesterday via snapchat as this girl accused her of chatting up her boyfriend. The girl was immediately vile to dd and she was stupid enough to be vile back even though she doesn't even know the lad involved at all.
I told her to stop engaging as you never know who you're dealing with but it's too late. Since found out that this girl and her mate are 1 and 2yrs older than dd and are hard as fuck in dd's words. All her mates know of them and videos have been shown of her fighting. She has beaten up grown men in public places etc etc. She has every bit of info about my dd including name, address, phone number, college timetable, her best friends, where she hangs out etc etc. All this was provided to her by another girl who dd used to be friends with at school but isn't anymore. This girl has told dd she's coming to get her tonight and dd has been avoiding her. Dd is now home thank god but I'm worried sick. It's only a matter of time before she catches up with her. If i inform the police will they do anything? Dd has blocked the girl now so there's no record of what has been said and my concern is they will just think she is almost as bad for arguing back with her in the first place.

It's not your DD's fault, those bullies were probably looking for a victim and anything would have triggered them.

These types are violent, unreasonable and best avoided completely so don't unblock.

.

Get your daughter some defence spray from Amazon and unload in the other girl's face when she attacks - should give your daughter time to run while the other girl works out what the fuck has just happened.

I'm not sure whether the police will do much before the attack happens. There is a risk that contacting them will just provoke the other girl even more.

@contrmary isn't defender spray illegal? As it's an offensive weapon

Do you have a burly hard-as-nails mate who could escort your DD around for a few days?

Unfortunately although her mates are fairly hard themselves and certainly not scared to fight even they have said these 2 aren't to be messed with.

Can you reason with the bully explain DD doesn't know her boyfriend.
Personally I'd keep her in if they are like the teens around her until it blows over.
I wouldn't contact the police or school these things can spread wildly out of control try tame it with the bully first.

It's worth investing in a personal alarm.

^^ good advice as often these people only respect people that are a bigger bully then themselves.

@BlooperReel You're not wrong, fight fire with fire, it is the way it has to be in some areas.
Thankfully my DC have older cousins local.
In your situation OP I'd try reason with bully first.
Authorities will ignite it more.

OP there is a lesson to be learned here by DD about being gobby too, her reaction on snap chat didn't help her cause.
If she and her mates are described usually tough able to fight I'd say someone has felt threatened by them at some point.
There is always a bigger fish it isn't nice to be a toughy if you like.

If your dd doesn't want to fight then I'd say to unblock the girl, apologise for being abusive and politely explain that she has not been talking to her boyfriend?
If the girl is a bully it's likely she will write back with more threats which you can screenshot and send to the police and/or college. Or she might accept the apology and you can all get on with your lives.

But your daughter will have to learn quickly that unfortunately in this big bad world If you want to talk shit you've got to be prepared to take your licks.

Yes a valuable lesson learnt unfortunately. If it was a bit of a scap I wouldn't be so worried but I think these 2 are really out to hurt people. She has apologised and it didn't make any difference.
I can't get involved myself due to my job.

Get your daughter some defence spray

I don't think that's legal. A small can of hairspray is perfectly legit though.

In your shoes? I'd alert college (about the friend doxxing your daughter to the bullies) and insist that the police take the details in case of further escalation.

And train your daughter that there are times when you have to step away and stop engaging.

@Scaredmumhelp Ime these thing's fizzle out. 9 out of 10 times the bully moves on out of sight out of mind.
She apologised.
Tell her to keep a low profile don't engage or respond.
I'd shut all SM for a few weeks.
Don't even discuss it with friends they might turn coat.
If they continue to intimidate her call the police.
My nephew was in a similar position they eventually forgot about him it was an awful worry and changed him.
It was a blow up of threats and intimidation by a mad clan.
Good luck try not to worry it may never happen, keep a record screenshots, if they do assault her have them charged all the way be brave.

Just spoken to dd again. She's adamant I'm not to go to the police. She said she's not staying in either and if she sees her she will have to take a beating. How lovely not! She wishes she hadn't have told me and has said I must not get involved anymore

Then there's not much you can do OP.
Please do urge her to look over her shoulder regulary and keep her phone with her all the time. These girls do sound very dangerous and it wouldn't sit well with me . Also would advice her not to unblock them, they will contact her again and it will only further escalate. These girls want to fight, the boyfriend thing was just a stupid excuse.

I see her reasoning with the police unless there is an assault it will make it worse.
I hope it blows over it's a friggin nightmare.
Let hope there is no beating, this other girl might back down as DD carries on with life.
Give her a knuckle duster joking.
I hope no harm comes to her i'll be thinking of you.

Give her a rape alarm, that will startle them and alert others.

You can actually buy uk legal defence sprays.

More of a marker using dye but let's face it, it's going to hurt.

Unload it in the bullies face.

This

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B076KDXG4Y/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_xrhFFb6DJ0AYQ?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

You cant reason with bullies. They only understand power and control, but the thing is, bullies make enemies.

This won't be the first time these thugs have upset people. There will be others this has happened to. Take solace in this. They are not popular people in the wider community

Can you get to find out if others have been threatened by them. Maybe get them on your side

Also worth bearing in mind that others might have gone to police in the past.

Don't show any weakness.

Good luck

These sound like the snitches get stitches type....

Snitches only really applies to other criminals

If you're law abiding and not involved with other criminals, then you're not a snitch

No one would blame you if you went to the police OP

@Scaredmumhelp

Just spoken to dd again. She's adamant I'm not to go to the police. She said she's not staying in either and if she sees her she will have to take a beating. How lovely not! She wishes she hadn't have told me and has said I must not get involved anymore

She's scared and lashing out. Make sure she knows you're still there.

Do you know their parents? Though it might be a waste of time.
I went to a parent as the boy was 6 years older than DS she was "like ye so and" I wanted to thump her.
I said okay well DS cousin is 4 years older than your son will I ask him to resolve it" she brought he son in for punishment.