Having issues with toddler toothbrushing

[Archie1989]

Help! My 2 year old WILL NOT brush his teeth and will not open his mouth to let me brush them. He point blank refuses. I’ve tried everything. I got a pop up book where you brush the animal’s teeth, we brush his teddy bear’s teeth, we try to get him to brush our teeth. We got a fancy flashing light rocket toothbrush. We sing songs....we have even resorted to YouTube cartoons of tooth brushing for toddlers. Nothing works.

The worst bit, we took him to the dentist and it looks like he needs a filling. The dentist said not to go to the extent of holding him down, because it’ll make it worse.

He doesn’t have juice or sweets, but he does eat a lot of fruit and cereal and he grazes. The dentist said it could be the grazing and cereal.

Please don’t judge. I’m trying my best.

Holding a child down to brush their teeth is not abusive (as long as your not hurting them obviously) but in my opinion letting their teeth rot is.

I used to let my dd brush her own teeth in the morning when she was about 4 and I would brush in the evening. This resulted in her having some decay in a back tooth. I would not recommend letting them brush themselves. I am still doing it for her now she is 9, but that's just my choice.

With my youngest it started terribly. They just hated tooth brushing and wanted to just chew on the brush or do it themselves. I knew from what happened to dd that I couldn't let them do that. Now I tell them I can see little fruity monsters on their teeth. They find it funny and want me to brush them away and so they can spit them out.

Something that started so traumatic has now become enjoyable for them.

It can seem really upsetting but once it's over they are fine.

@AutumnleavesturntoGold

I really cringe when I hear of children being held down.

It's a phase that most dc go through! As they start to look at themselves separately to us one day they think, why am I or he /she shoving this in MY mouth...

Decline in teeth won't happen over one week and lots of teeth issues are genetic and also down to feeding dc and sharing saliva with them, giving them your dental bacteria.

Both my dc have gone through this stage and I just totally and instantly backed off. Didn't bother for about 2 days which is Light years in the toddler world.

Did my teeth in front but didn't mention it to them. Lots of distraction... And smoothly got them back into it after about a week by just going to do it and having a distraction lined up eg toy that suddenly talks and stuff like that.

So many more creative ways to tackle than holding them down.

Did you read the bit in the OP where they described all the things they've tried, how none of it has worked, and the fact that they now have a toddler who needs a filling?

You can cringe as much as you like, but I'm absolutely shocked you let your toddlers have mouthwash. How incredibly irresponsible.

There are no easy answers. If he needs to graze then your choices are 1. Pin him down to brush teeth 2. Tooth decay and tooth ache.

I picked pinning down because I thought it best for my child. You can only pick what you think is best for yours.

@Mochachoco

I pinned my DD down every morning and evening until she was about 19 months (tried everything else as well.) She screamed and I felt awful but I'm glad I did it. At 19 months I said, 'Oh no there's a panda in your mouth, quick let me get him' and suddenly the tears stopped and she let me do it every time and I would describe all the animals I could see in her mouth.

Now she is 2.5 and has got a bit bored of it so I bargain with her, 'let's clean your teeth and then we will... read a book/play pirates etc. I still have to resort to pinning down on the odd occasion if she is tired. Good luck.

This worked with my child. Older now abs still likes me to brush sometimes and play the I can see zebras game

At what age does 'there's a monster on your teeth' start to work? Because I tried it on my 19 month old and he couldn't have cared less and just refused to open his mouth as usual.

Also I just want to say that giving your child dental bacteria is total bs, no ones child caught decay from their parents.

Everyone has bacteria in their mouths, some bacteria are cariogenic meaning they can lead to decay, most people have this bacteria in their mouths, almost everyone will get this bacteria in their mouth at some point. It is not a bacterial infection it is just natural flora/fauna. Having cariogenic bacteria in your mouth doesnt mean you will get decay, because you brush your teeth to remove the bacteria - most of which leads to decay tbh. Decay is not a disease you catch.

If a child was refusing to have their arsed wiped you wouldnt leave shit on it for a week because it would probably be okay. You would pin them down and wipe it.

It is fine to pin a child down if they need to, dont worry you really will not cause permenant trauma, it will be a hell of a lot more traumatic having teeth out. Most children will need pinning down at some point and I personally think its better to teach your child how important tooth brushing is than teach them its acceptable to leave them for a week

@DishRanAwayWithTheSpoon

👏

I could have written your post. We’re still fighting with my 2.5yo son. Dressing and toothbrush are the worse part of the day as it’s so much drama.

@TenShortStories thanks so much for the finding animals tip. Worked a treat this morning and evening after months of toothbrushing tantrums. Long may it continue. Hope things improve OP

It’s abuse to not brush the teeth, having teeth filled and pulled out will make you more upset!!!

Children’s teeth should be brushed until the have the manual dexterity to do it themselves.
So it’s your responsibility until then, and even then they should be supervised

I have used the colour game to great success with mine. I ask to look inside their mouths to see if I can see any colours in there. Then I list random colours and start asking what food that could be. Green... Have you been eating peas, brocolli or crocodiles? Let's brush that away. Etc. For DS2 who is only just two I do it the other way around, I say, hmm you've eaten beans today, what colour should I look for? Oh! Orange beans! There it is, quick, let me brush! Just pick any random tooth, but it lets you get a proper scrub in.

At the end I always say "wow the only colour I can see now is sparkling white!" DS2 now proudly proclaims "all barking white!" when we have finished :o

I found it helped them understand what I was actually trying to do even though I was exaggerating about the food being visible. And they love trying to guess what colour will come next.