Having issues with toddler toothbrushing

[Archie1989]

Help! My 2 year old WILL NOT brush his teeth and will not open his mouth to let me brush them. He point blank refuses. I’ve tried everything. I got a pop up book where you brush the animal’s teeth, we brush his teddy bear’s teeth, we try to get him to brush our teeth. We got a fancy flashing light rocket toothbrush. We sing songs....we have even resorted to YouTube cartoons of tooth brushing for toddlers. Nothing works.

The worst bit, we took him to the dentist and it looks like he needs a filling. The dentist said not to go to the extent of holding him down, because it’ll make it worse.

He doesn’t have juice or sweets, but he does eat a lot of fruit and cereal and he grazes. The dentist said it could be the grazing and cereal.

Please don’t judge. I’m trying my best.

DD was like this.

Then I bought her an “Upsy Daisy” (in the night garden character) toothbrush... and had the opposite problem as she then waited to brush her teeth about a hundred times a day . I think we also changed toothpaste flavour at the same time (again!).

Two things that helped our toothbrush refuser:

1. Brush Baby electric toothbrush. She loved the vibrations on her gums.
2. letting her look in the mirror while I did it so she could see what I was doing.

Good luck, OP!

FGS don't jump to asd. Pin him down and brush his teeth. It's a non negotiable. Most toddlers don't love it.

YANBU OP. I worry about DS teeth every day and slightly obsessed by this. DS who is 2.5 does a combination of clamping down on the toothbrush and sucking off the toothpaste. Do manage to get his teeth brushed twice daily but takes some wrestling perseverance.

Some of my tips for you:

• use two toothbrushes. DS holds /sucks /bites one whilst I brush.
• do it together at the sink. Make it fun. You may need to dance like a proper idiot to get the message across. Sometimes it works well and DS gets brushing and dances at the same time. Which is cute to watch.

-sing a brushing teeth song...just make one up to a nursery rhyme tune -sit them on sofa and let them watch TV whilst you crouch below them and get brushing. -hold them down if all else fails.

We've also just learned to rinse and spit - I do it first to show him the he does it. Again sometimes he'll prefer to eat the toothpaste and will just swallow the water...

We do it when he's in the bath and he pretends to be a shark or a crocodile. Sometimes we do a (slow) countdown and then the toothbrush blasts off like a rocket. When I'm brushing his teeth sometimes I joke that I can still see bits of breakfast/lunch so I need to get all the dirt off so he can smile at his friends. Sometimes he brushes my teeth too.

@Mylittlepony374

I read this tip on here & it really worked for us. Once you've got them to brush their teeth (at all the first time) make a stupidly embarrassing big deal over how shiny they are. I put my hands over my eyes and pretend the sparkle brightness is blinding me. Been doing this with my 3.⁵ year old for aaagges now and she still loves it. She was like your little one too. Has sensory issues so very difficult to force her into something she doesn't want to do. We also got her an electric toothbrush which she loves, but I think they may only be for over 3s.

We do this too- even my 6 year old requests for me to see his "pearly whites!"

Op- I have a 2.5 year old too- we have an electric toothbrush (it's a baby one we got from boots) and I ask to see his Tiger Teeth- he brushes for the most part then I will take over- he usually allows this 😂

@AriettyHomily I didn’t just jump to that. I had many reasons for thinking that, one being that he would not respond to his name even at 18 months, which is a key sign. That has got a bit better now, but is still an issue.

We have the tooth monster in our house... DD knows that if her teeth are clean then the tooth fairy will come, but that the tooth monster comes at night and checks our teeth are all clean and otherwise he'll pull them out.
Writing this down makes it sound really scary but she isn't scared by it at all, it's just something we've always said. Could be worth a try?

Thank you to everyone for your suggestions. We did hold him upside down which was one of the suggestions and it did work a little. Then we had to hold him down. There were tears, screams, wrestling....but it got down and he’s now playing with his toys before bed.

Have you just given him the toothbrush? My daughter hated it and we had to hold her down as awful as it was to do. She now willingly brushes her own teeth and let's us do it too. I pretend I'm tickling her with it, in turn when she's having an I DON'T WANT TO BRUSH MY TEETH moment it makes her laugh. What about a sticker chart? Xxxx

@TenShortStories amazing!!!! Definitely going to deploy those ideas!

Have you tried an electric one? My DS hates brushing until we got him an electric one, he loves putting it on charge at night as well.

It’s bloody tough, my 20 month old now shouts no and runs away when he sees the brush.

Make sure that you change the head regularly: mine was chewing it so the brushes all
Spaced out so when I used I it I think it was hurting his gums!

I really cringe when I hear of children being held down.

It's a phase that most dc go through! As they start to look at themselves separately to us one day they think, why am I or he /she shoving this in MY mouth...

Decline in teeth won't happen over one week and lots of teeth issues are genetic and also down to feeding dc and sharing saliva with them, giving them your dental bacteria.

Both my dc have gone through this stage and I just totally and instantly backed off. Didn't bother for about 2 days which is Light years in the toddler world.

Did my teeth in front but didn't mention it to them. Lots of distraction... And smoothly got them back into it after about a week by just going to do it and having a distraction lined up eg toy that suddenly talks and stuff like that.

So many more creative ways to tackle than holding them down.

My DC have hypoplasia so not brushing isn't an option. I still brush my 5yo because I need to make sure it's done properly. 1 year old gets swaddled in a towel and pinned as he's a refuser at present.

I really wouldnt worry about holding them down, lots of parents have to. They need their teeth brushed.

Wrap them in a towel, go from behind. Yes making into a game can help, lots of good suggestions on this thread. Toothbrushing is non negotiable, if you dont then you can end up causing permenant damage. They already have a hole and they are only 2.

2 is far too young to be able to do it themselves, its too young for just giving it a once over after they've done it. They need an adult to do a full brush, although no harm in them giving it a go as long as an adult does a proper brush as well.

Please dont replace toothbrushing with mouthwash, they are too young for flouride mouthwash and it essentially does nothing anyway. You still need mechanical removal of plaque.

Most teeth issues are not genetic, they are poor toothbrushing and a diet with a high frequency of sugar. Id try and cut back on the grazing, make sure they arent grazing on sugary foods including dry fruit, yoghurt etc. Not just actual sweets

Also most children will need help till they are 9 or 10, so they also need to get used to someone brushing their teeth. Some teenagers need help tbh

@AutumnleavesturntoGold it's ll very well saying you "cringe when you hear of children being held down", do you also cringe when small children have to have medical procedures e.g. fillings or to have teeth pulled out?

Children are different. We have tried so many tactics with our ds and this is the only thing that gets the jobs done. It's horrible for all concerned. I still cry sometimes afterwards but he's forgotten the minute it's done and is asking for this toy or that telly programme haha.

all*

I used to pin mine between my legs and brush.

Rather that than a filling. At 11, 11 and nearly 9 none of them remember or would care. I know there’s always that one person that was traumatised by it but tbh more people have issues with the dentist and I don’t dog the it’s because of having procedures when very little.

Oh and yes, I do sometimes do their teeth for them as they can be a bit lax sometimes. We have had many words about this!

@LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett

My DS has ASD and toothbrushing has always been an issue.

Best advice I ever got was 'have someone brush your teeth for you and see how you like it.' (It's horrible, by the way!). I 'get' the desire to pin them down and get it done, believe me, but it doesn't work long-term, is traumatic and I actually think it's unlikely to be done well if you're bracing a wriggling, screaming two year old.

I would try different toothpaste flavours, it may be a sensory issue related to taste or foam - my DS uses an unflavoured toothpaste called Oranurse.

Try a mouthwash if he's old enough to spit, which will at least get some flouride in there.

Start right from the beginning, breaking it down into tiny steps and praising/rewarding each step - if you google toothbrushing for ASD children you'll get some ideas (I'm not suggesting your child has ASD, but that the strategies for ASD might work for them).

You'll need to restrict sugary foods while doing the above.

Yeah sorry, I don’t believe you, because my experience is nothing like yours.

My experience was also that mine were a lot more...resistant, shall we say, than @AutumnleavesturntoGold children. They would have gone without teeth being done at all had I just left them to it.

Sometimes distraction works, sometimes stickers. For the times you’re chasing a naked banshee round the house I would employ the towel and toothbrush method with big cuddles afterwards.

Sorry @MsEllany are you suggesting that because your experience is different to mine them I am lying? That's a bit of a reach, no?

Until a couple of weeks ago my 2 year old was exactly the same, even pinning him down it was impossible to get the brush in, what helped was encouraging him to ‘roar’ like a dinosaur to open his mouth, holding him up in front of the mirror so he could see himself while we brushed and we also started using a new toothbrush (actually a free one he’d been given at nursery) which which was a bit bigger. good luck!

I pinned my DD down every morning and evening until she was about 19 months (tried everything else as well.) She screamed and I felt awful but I'm glad I did it. At 19 months I said, 'Oh no there's a panda in your mouth, quick let me get him' and suddenly the tears stopped and she let me do it every time and I would describe all the animals I could see in her mouth.

Now she is 2.5 and has got a bit bored of it so I bargain with her, 'let's clean your teeth and then we will... read a book/play pirates etc. I still have to resort to pinning down on the odd occasion if she is tired. Good luck.

@LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett no - apologies I am not. I think I started responding to someone else as I’ve no idea why I wrote that.