6 months of shite weather

[SomeoneStolemySocks]

No toddler groups............can't go to the park because the ground is always soaking wet/play equipment waterlogged. Can't afford softplay every week. One of my sons is nearly 2 and I have no idea what I'm going to do with him until the sun shows it's face again next year.

I'm feeling low about the onset of autumn/winter. Trying to entertain a very active little boy at home for 6 months of cold/dark and horrible autumn rain.

Anyone else in the same boat? Ideas?

I realize with hindsight how lucky I was to be able to take my first son to a local toddler group on a Tues morning. It only cost £1 entry, & he loved playing with different toys. Those groups were great, such a shame Covid has finished them off (near me anyway)

@Ratatcat

HollywoodHandshake I think March to September generally is pretty good where I am. Most people will of course just crack on when it’s rainy- we all still have to get to work, school etc. I don’t have to enjoy it though.

In any other year, the OP probably wouldn’t be feeling it as much but Covid is making life much harder than normal for those with small children, especially those on a lower income. There is much less to look forward to in terms of breaking up winter. No proper Halloween, fireworks, limited Christmas celebrations etc.

I think this is the problem. In other years there's something to look forward to. Birthday parties, halloween, bonfire night, Christmas and all the events around that. Last year I did a little halloween party for my daughter and some of her friends. We had a disco, I painted all their faces, we played party games and then went trick or treating. And the PTA disco at school which they all loved. There'll be nothing like that this year.

Try friluftsliv, the Norwegian approach to the outdoors www.google.co.uk/amp/s/api.nationalgeographic.com/distribution/public/amp/travel/2020/09/how-norways-friluftsliv-could-help-us-through-a-coronavirus-winter

Try friluftsliv, the Norwegian approach to the outdoors

I do get the comparisons to other European countries - there’s a lot we can learn from them in so many ways - but I do think it’s a false comparison where weather is concerned. Continental/Scandi winters are often freezing but less wet, and I think it’s the rain and wind rather than cold that lots of people are complaining about. I know I’d much rather layer up and spend time outdoors on a freezing cold but still day than a soggy, windswept one.

Thing is, yes there will be days ahead with miserable weather but there are nice, fine days in autumn and winter too so what's with the six months of misery? Before you know it, it will be spring.

Mine love rainy walks once they are out in it. Grumble when I suggest it however. We have good waterproofs, trousers included, and wellies. We jump in the puddles, eat the rain (not me) and try and get splashed by cars. Once home we have a bath, put joggers or pyjamas on and have hot chocolate. Perfect

@TempsPerdu

Try friluftsliv, the Norwegian approach to the outdoors

I do get the comparisons to other European countries - there’s a lot we can learn from them in so many ways - but I do think it’s a false comparison where weather is concerned. Continental/Scandi winters are often freezing but less wet, and I think it’s the rain and wind rather than cold that lots of people are complaining about. I know I’d much rather layer up and spend time outdoors on a freezing cold but still day than a soggy, windswept one.

I'd agree with you. It's the combination of wet and wind that makes it miserable.

Nobody minds going out to play in the snow after its fallen but likewise nobody goes out to play in a blizzard.

I’m with you op. I’m due my third baby in a few weeks so can’t exactly go out to the park in the pissing rain with a tiny baby all autumn and winter. It was so easy when I had my second - take toddler to local playgroup, she has fun while I can sit and feed the baby. This time there’s nothing at all.

There's a combination of things making this a shit time.

Families have really lost out in the aftermath of lockdown as reopening services has prioritised adults. Swimming pools only have to offer lane swimming, for example. Children are not welcome at many garden centres, shops and libraries. In normal times there are all sorts of places you can take toddlers to while away a couple of hours... Potter round a pet shop looking at animals, have a coffee and cake in the cafe, mooch around Sainsburys etc which are now not enjoyable because of safety rules etc.

It's not that mothers expect groups to be available to entertain their children as such, it's more to spend time with adults for an hour or so and for a change of scene. Expensive groups like baby sensory are not an option for those on low incomes, neither soft play. Meeting friends in houses is not possible in lockdown areas. No birthday parties as such to break up weekends. Halloween events cancelled. Difficulty in booking ahead for zoos, farm parks etc if you're lucky enough to have an annual pass due to reduced capacity, extortionate entrance if not.

Many people's mental health is suffering at the moment with increased worry about the future and having to drastically change the way they live with young children is not as simple as, put your puddle suit on.

It’s your negative attitude that will ruin your days. Wet weather days exploring the woods as a kid is just 1 big adventure! Change your perspective and see the world a little differently, you might find that you like it!

I walk dogs for a a living outside all day, every day come rain, shine, cold and snow. I only stop if it's dangerously hot or windy.

I also enjoyed lots of outside time with my own DC when they were younger.

Really, honestly and truly having an enjoyable time outdoors from October - February is down to two key things: decent clothing and mind set.

Get yourselves some decent gear, and a positive mindset and you can have a ball. Don't create a feeling that rain or chilly weather is something nasty- this will rub off on your DC and they will be miserable before they set foot outside of the door.

It is rare for it to rain all day, so it's sensible to plan according to the forecast- but it's really is absolutely possible to have fun in the rain anyway.

Probably the trickiest days are when it's very cold and very wet. But still I'd rather be outside than anywhere else. Keep moving, keep positive and remember if all else fails you are not made of sugar so you won't melt!

Forgot to say, food banks and various charities as well as NHS and council services are in many cases overstretched or not running at all. So there are added stresses for families who need support.

If you have a car, a decent amount of food at home, and access to various paid activities during a typical week then a trip to the rainy woods might have a different slant to it than if it involves getting on a bus with a mask on, there's little or no warm food at home afterwards, not enough hot water for a bath, overcrowded conditions in flats and no prospect of 'naice' activities for the rest of the week. Your child might have outgrown waterproofs and there's no money to buy new ones.

Think outside your own situation.

Families have really lost out in the aftermath of lockdown as reopening services has prioritised adults. Swimming pools only have to offer lane swimming, for example. Children are not welcome at many garden centres, shops and libraries

Totally agree with this. I’ve said this ad nauseam on many other threads, but while we’re wringing our hands over the prioritisation of health vs economy, our response to Covid is having multiple less tangible effects on young children that will only become apparent when they enter the education system and these things become more measurable - poor socialisation, diminished communication skills/speech and language issues, mental health issues etc. This cohort of children simply isn’t getting the small, everyday social interactions that are normal in early childhood.

@Prisonbreak you’ve described one day! OP is working out to keep her ds busy and socialised and active for the foreseeable. It’s very different.

@SomeoneStolemySocks I was about to tell you about my very similar experience- 6 months overwinter in Oslo with a baby and a toddler. However it was hard, I didn’t know anyone so never went to anyone else’s house and the things I could do, aren’t covid appropriate (day out in ikea, mooching round museums and shops, long bus rides looking out the window etc.)
However good clothes do make a difference. I had hemnes snowsuits and a proper big warm side by side Swedish pushchair. I imagine there will be informal outdoor playgroups, or at least people will stay longer at the swings and slides and your ds will get to socialise that way

Move to the Canary Islands for the Winter months in UK.

Otherwise cope like we all try to do with varying degrees of success!

The Winter passes quickly. Just after Christmas the days brighten up. Try to think on the positive side.

People really do find it hard to think outside of their own situations sometimes. There are vast differences in rainfall even in the UK. In my part of Wales it rains for about two thirds of every month from October to February. It can be depressing in normal times; it's particularly depressing when
most of your country has been put under lockdown so you can't see family and friends, or entertain your children anywhere other than a wet park. My children have waterproofs and like puddles. We also like being dry and interacting with other humans.

Where I live we have six or seven months of snow, piled so high that we can’t even move our pushchair out of the door. Rain would not bother us one bit. Get some waterproof trousers and your kid will be fine.

No such thing as bad weather they said.
Put your wellies on they said.
Go to the playground and splash around they said.
One hour later the flood gates were being closed to protect the city centre. The water went above the level of the fence and soaked into the community notice board 5 feet up and split the ply wood. This was not the lowest area of the park and it took weeks for the water to go, and 5 months for the ground to dry out (this April).

2019-20 was 9 months of near relentless rain. We didn't get bonfire night last year as parks and fields were either tooswampy or submerged... and it kept on raining solidly ùntil mid-March. No wonder so many people are not confident about the joys of a British autumn/ winter with the memories of squelching and being flooded through last summer/ autimn/ winter still fresh.

Thank fuck my two are past the toddler years. I remember sticking a toddler in a puddle suit and dogedly heading of to the playground in that deceptively drenching drizzle and discovering that a waterproofed toddler can whizz off the end of the slide and bounce for 6 feet. Nobody else was there to hear him scream. Nobody else was stupid enough to be there.

It's not fun squelching through soggy leaves at half a mile per hour while the toddler has a 1:1 ratio of walk/ tantrum time.

Swimming is not currently family friendly. Many pools are lanes only, or basically private hire for a family.
The local farm has slashed its hours to economise.
Most libraries are still shut. Those that are open are not for leisurely browsing or rhymetime groups.
My local museum is not particularly toddler friendly anyway.
Community groups are struggling with the logistics of reopening.
We're at least 2.5 hours from the sea.
Anything indoors requires pre-booking and is the dearer end of the market. Oh and face rags.

My house looks like a stock clearance of Go Outdoors/ Mountain Warehouse/ Decathlon, but that doesn't stop certain qualities of rain and wind from being soul destroying, and that's comming from a person who does things like Run Every Day January and prioritises outdoor excercise. But when it's just me as an adult, I can move quickly enough to stay warm. Toddler pace is fucking cold and miserable.

And it turned out that my grumpy toddler made such a meal out of it due to autism and sensory processing disorder. No wonder he loathed bulky clothes and layers. He still kicks up a fuss now, but he's old enough that any hypothermia is on him. Second toddler, I solved the problem by putting them in nursery and heading off to teach teenagers as a nice break.

Puddlesuit and wellies. Spare clothes in the car / back home and a towel followed by cuddles under a blanket

Glad to see some more realistic responses.

The way the puddle suit patrol are speaking I'm expecting us all to be running out in our thousands, desperate to jump in one of these trendy puddles before they are all splashed away.

Also, don't forget some people have disabilities which makes it hard to be able to walk for miles to keep them and their toddlers amused. Even my daughter gets fed up after 20 minutes in the local fields and wants to run over to grown men's football matches and take their footballs away. No way of stopping her other than strapping her into the buggy or picking her up and carrying her, or holding her hand and letting her sit on the floor in a tantrum. She got bored of investigating pine cones months ago too as it was my original lockdown go-to activity when we had our 20 minutes a day out. Don't think my back could handle daily helping her walk backwards up the slide for hours on end either.

Also don't forget some toddlers don't even want to do the same stuff every day- I can't speak for anyone else but I took my daughter swimming for the first time (lucky enough to have found a reasonable pool in a hotel after weeks of searching) recently and even though she absolutely loved it, we went back a couple of days later and she didn't want to go in again- at all.

As for the dream forests people are talking about- if they were that great there would be swarms of families in them all winter, gathering around a casket of mulled wine- rather than ambulances outside every couple of weeks because someone decided to commit suicide in them. I personally wouldnt feel comfortable walking alone in a secluded forest as a woman.

I'm sure it is all beautiful if you have a 6 year old to converse with or something, or who is happy to sit for hours painting or writing a story of her walk- but lonesome rain walking all winter with a toddler, who needs reining in all the time, just isn't the same as a cosy winter with local libraries and playgroups to visit where they can get variety and stimulation. Also when I imagine puddle jumping I imagine trying to stop a small child from running into the road all day long.

I'm not complaining because I'm happy with my decision to stick to indoor activities, but I'm defending the OP who might not have the same opportunities I have, because most of the things I have found to do are paid for and at least two or three miles away, and I was miserable for months until those things opened even with average summer weather. They weren't anything I had done before either. Had done the lonesome walking and playground visits to death since the lockdown started and was going insane with the lack of variety and accessible activities and communal places to help stimulate my daughter.

As for the people saying that toddler groups are more for the mums than the kids- yeah I love breaking up fights over toys for two hours solid. I do that it all for myself.

The OP was simply asking for suggestions and to be sympathised with how she feels and things being potentially even harder than the summer.

Just remember before you start judging other people for how they feel- most people create posts on here because they just want their children to be happy.

We're in London and making the most of access to museums, galleries and other indoor attractions while we can - I expect they might be locked down again in future. Most of them are free or have a one-off entry fee for a year. I'm also forking out for a few weekly toddler classes as DD has always enjoyed them and really missed them during lockdown. It must be hard to be in more suburban/rural areas where there is less going on. But on the flipside, we can only afford to live in London because we chose a smaller flat with no outside space, which was hard during lockdown. I suppose if we'd chosen a bigger house in the suburbs, we might have fewer places to go/be less willing to travel into central London museums, but we'd have more space at home to do our own activities.

We go out whatever the weather but it's been good to have indoor options (we are car-free so have to walk between bus stops to get there though). DD doesn't seem bothered even by heavy rain and had a great time running around in wellies and a raincoat this weekend. But most of our time was spent inside a museum and a play cafe. It would have been miserable to be outdoors the whole time (for me, at least).

Also for anyone who still thinks that the rain isn't problematic in any way whatsoever-

I had an ex in Miami who broke his foot and had to have a metal plate put in it. Months and months after his operation I would regularly him how his foot was doing to which he always replied- "it's fine it just hurts when it rains". Even his foot had an issue with the rain and was telling him not to go out in it. (And I know he would stay indoors or in a car in the rain!)

when my son was a toddler we went to all sorts of places in autumn and winter outdoors,we went on lots of different walks and just wanted around towns, no you can get a cold just by being outside but we had lots of snow walks and went to playgrounds, nature walks

We tried soft play once and it was terrible, nothing against the centre itself but there was parents and older kids all over the place, older kids running in with younger kids so we never went to another one

But he was at nursery 3 days a week from 12 months

Totally feel the same OP. I tend to walk round big shops and go to coffee shops - take some crayons/toys. It is sad to miss things like the library/ toddler groups etc. It gets me down!

It's been a very wet weekend here, too, so it has put a damper on my spirits as well.

I find the online BBC weather forecast very helpful - you can add your location and it gives info on what to expect, hour by hour. That way you can see when/if there is going to be a break in the rain, and time things to spend time outside during brighter parts of the day

I don't think we'll be getting awful weather for 6 months, just because we've had 3 wet days. During winter it can be gloriously sunny at times, but those days tend to be very cold, so it's a case of wrapping up warm to enjoy the sunshine. Give me frosty days with sunshine any day, over endless rain.

I'm not looking forward to winter here either op. There are currently no soft plays open at all, children can't go to any of the swimming pools as it's lane swimming only and our local library still hasn't reopened.
I've no problem with wrapping up and going out in less than perfect weather but I live in Scotland and the reality is that it's really miserable most days over winter.
I'm due a baby next month and have a 4yo. If the toddler group and library re-opened it will be bareable but otherwise it's going to be a pretty horrible maternity leave tbh.