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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was an odd question

41 replies

Coldnights · 04/10/2020 09:28

Someone I know recently went missing and when the police were given her photo. They asked if she actually looked like that.

OP posts:
Sargass0 · 04/10/2020 09:30

I should imagine they meant is it an up to date photo?

bonjonbovi · 04/10/2020 09:30

It could have been an old photo, and the missing person has changed hair colour/style, or got glasses etc.

Surely it’s better to ask than for the police to waste time looking?

letmethinkaboutitfornow · 04/10/2020 09:30

Was it a realistic picture?
Or was she in fancy dress, dressed inappropriately? In costume? With / without makeup?
I wouldnt think it was an odd question

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 04/10/2020 09:30

Not really an odd question, it may have been an old photo, or have filters etc on it. They need to make sure it's an up to date photo.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 04/10/2020 09:30

Did the officer screw his/her face up and say ‘Does she actually look like THAT?!’ incredulously. Or was it more like ‘Is this a good likeness?’ We’re living in the age of filters.

Fearicecream · 04/10/2020 09:30

That question is probably very common now. Snapchat filters and other various apps do change appearances. So the police had to be sure it was a genuine non filtered pic.

SunbathingDragon · 04/10/2020 09:30

Sounds odd if you haven’t been there before but the police want to know the person hasn’t dyed or cut their hair since, or whether they usually wear glasses etc. Do you remember as an example Claudia Laurence, the chef who went missing many years ago? All the newspapers pictures showed her with long blonde hair but she was actually a brunette at the time she disappeared and looked very different.

MrsRogerLima · 04/10/2020 09:31

I think context is important. Does she have a 'unique' appearance? Was the photo showing her wearing maybe fancy dress or something? Obviously dyed hair? Potential for filters or Photoshop?

PaulinePetrovaPosey · 04/10/2020 09:31

Makes sense to me. If it was a photo of her all done up on a night out (for instance) it might not help if she was likely to be looking more normal.

giletrouge · 04/10/2020 09:32

They will be well aware that a) the photo could be uncharacteristic/unrepresentative b) could be an old photo c) people change their appearances AND their appearances can change; haircut, tan, different kind of clothes etc d) could be an enhanced pic.
I would have thought it's a pretty standard question in these circs.

WishITookLifeSeriously · 04/10/2020 09:33

I would think that lots of people nowadays don't have 'realistic' photos due to filters on social media. Sometimes people look completely different in their pictures

Florencex · 04/10/2020 09:33

It isn’t an odd question at all. I am sure you remember Claudia Lawrence who wen t missing in 1999. The picture that is ingrained in my memory was her with blonde hair. In actual fact her hair was dark brown at the time she went missing but that was not revealed until much later.

Florencex · 04/10/2020 09:34

*2009 I lost a decade there somehow

BlueThistles · 04/10/2020 09:34

was the person using FILTERS? so no not an odd question at all given today apparent need for such things. 🤔

SteveArnottsbeadyeyes · 04/10/2020 09:35

Even disregarding filters etc, there’s a bit difference in say a photo of someone dolled up to go on a night out - hair straightened, false lashes on, eyebrows pencilled on etc, to people’s day to day look. So I think it’s a very fair question.

Ughmaybenot · 04/10/2020 09:37

It’s a perfectly reasonable question.
For example, if it were me, you could pick a photo of me from a time I went to a particular wedding three years ago. I had almost black hair, was dolled up to the nines, make up wise, had no tan as it was a winter wedding etc. If you were to compare that to now, I look very different; beachy blonde/brown hair, very tanned following last winter abroad and a good summer this year, I rarely wear much make up day to day anyway, plus I weigh almost two stone different from then... I look so completely different that an old photo like that would be little help at all!
That’s before you start thinking about snapchat filters etc!

DBML · 04/10/2020 09:38

I think it’s a very sensible question in this age of filters.

My son showed me a photo of his new girlfriend, but when she turned up at the house during the summer, I didn’t recognise her.

Ponoka7 · 04/10/2020 09:38

Why do you think it's odd? Have you never seen someone's pictures and not even recognised them?

AvoidingRealHumans · 04/10/2020 09:46

I agree with others that it is a reasonable question.
Just this week on our village Facebook there has been 2 different teenagers missing and both pics that were shared had filters on.

HandfulofDust · 04/10/2020 09:55

Even without filters (which are a big factor) she could have lots of make up on in the photo, it might have been an old photo or taken from a strange angle etc. It's not unusual for a photo not to be a great likeness of how someone normally looks.

FarTooMuchWashing · 04/10/2020 10:23

I realise I haven’t had my hair cut for 6+ months and so I no longer have a bob with fringe, and my hair is much greyer - so no, it’s a sensible question for the police to ask.

jagoda · 04/10/2020 10:24

I am surprised you think this was an odd question tbh. Confused

Nikori · 04/10/2020 10:28

I think context is important.

Context is everything!

I love these threads where the OP gives minimal information and we are expected to read their mind and figure out what the problem is.

NeutralJanet · 04/10/2020 10:31

I doubt anyone would recognise me from my Facebook profile picture if I went missing, its from a night out a couple of years ago and I put a filter on to make it look better, I'm normally hideously unphotogenic and much more scruffy.

Bassarid · 04/10/2020 10:41

I agree with all the other posters. On the basis of what we have been given, it sounds like a reasonable question to me.

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