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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this presumptuous

80 replies

Muddleofpud · 03/10/2020 18:56

We had a note through the door today from a neighbour whose garden backs onto ours. She has decided that she wants some fence panels replaced that run across the end of her garden but runs across the side of our patio. The fence is on our land and therefore our responsibility, but she has offered to pay the cost of replacement as it’s her that wants it done. I have no real problem with this apart from the fact that we some fairly well established plants growing on our side which may get damaged but it’s workable. What has annoyed me though is that she’s already booked in the work for this week whilst we’re both at work which I wouldn’t be happy about, and also asked us if we’d like to contribute financially, which we absolutely cannot afford right now. texted her this afternoon to address the concerns I have, tell her we can’t contribute moneywise, and ask if she’d potentially reschedule the work, but she’s not responding. I’m worried she’ll just go ahead with it either way whilst we’re not in. Can she do this?

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Aquamarine1029 · 03/10/2020 18:58

No, she can't, and I would be contacting her now to make that crystal clear. Tell her no one is to touch that fence without you being there, and the job will be done only when it's convenient for you. No exceptions.

LittleMissLockdown · 03/10/2020 19:00

Id tell her she could put up any fence she liked on her side but your fence would be staying put. If ots not damaged or causing a problem then I wouldn't be wanting it replaced, especially if it was being done whilst you were at work and their was the potential for your plants to get damaged.

Original poster
Muddleofpud · 03/10/2020 19:02

I’m going to give it till tomorrow and if I’ve still had no response I’ll go and knock on the door..

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ForTheLoveOfCatFood · 03/10/2020 19:04

I’m on the fence on this (pun intended!)
Can’t you get the plants sorted the day before and let them replace the fence. Saves you the money and you get a nice new fence Grin
If the plants are well established if your careful they shouldn’t get damaged and will soon recover

Freddiefox · 03/10/2020 19:07

Do you want a new fence?

Original poster
Muddleofpud · 03/10/2020 19:09

@LittleMissLockdown

Id tell her she could put up any fence she liked on her side but your fence would be staying put. If ots not damaged or causing a problem then I wouldn't be wanting it replaced, especially if it was being done whilst you were at work and their was the potential for your plants to get damaged.
There’s nothing wrong with the fence at all, it’s a bit dirty but that’s all really, nothing a coat of paint or stain wouldn’t fix, no structural damage. She’s also stated that her workmen would be putting in concrete bases at the bottom that the wooden panels would slot into.. my worry is that this concrete will overspill/overhang into our flowerbeds which the plants are growing from and if any digging down is required that roots might be damaged. She seems to want a completely sterile fenced in area with no plants as she already cut back trees and shrubs from our garden that were hanging over the fence into her garden, so I’m sure she wouldn’t give a toss if our plants died in the process
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Original poster
Muddleofpud · 03/10/2020 19:12

@ForTheLoveOfCatFood

I’m on the fence on this (pun intended!) Can’t you get the plants sorted the day before and let them replace the fence. Saves you the money and you get a nice new fence Grin If the plants are well established if your careful they shouldn’t get damaged and will soon recover
Yeah I’m happy for her to have the work done and pay for it, I just want to make sure the bits our side are dealt with first. I think it’s a bit rude though to make arrangements to have the work done without consulting us first and now after ‘telling us’ it’s happening to ignore the response I’ve sent..
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SpringFan · 03/10/2020 19:15

Reading about the concrete bases and her disregard for plants, I would put a letter though her door to say that you wil not allow the fence to be replaced. If she wants to put a fence inside her boundary that is her business but she is not to touch your fence or put concrete bases on your land.

LittleMissLockdown · 03/10/2020 19:15

Form what you've said I genuinely would just tell her to install it in her own garden. It would bug me greatly if it was installed poorly and I was left as the one in charge of maintenance when the original fence was already sufficient.

Throckmorton · 03/10/2020 19:16

If it's on your land, it's not hers to touch!!

AnnaSW1 · 03/10/2020 19:16

Just tell her the truth. You want to keep your fence. If she wants all her fences to match she can put the end fence inside her boundary in front of yours.

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 03/10/2020 19:19

I would not have any confidence in work people to take any care, or even know how to take any care around plants. I would want to be there on the day to keep an eye. Ime even when given explicit instructions around gardens and plants people will still trample on/chuck stuff on plants. And concrete powder spilled over your plants will not make them happy at all.

She is v presumptuous and she is not allowed to do anything at all without your permission since the fence is yours and on your land. Speaking directly to her seems the best course of action because despite what your rights are - neighbour relations are precious things...

MyNameForToday1980 · 03/10/2020 19:21

It's your fence, on your land, if she purchases and installs another fence, is she gifting you a new fence?

It sounds like a legal/contractual and boundary line disaster.

It'd be a hard no from me. She can do whatever she likes on her own land.

Original poster
Muddleofpud · 03/10/2020 19:24

Thanks all, I’ll probably end up going round tomorrow to speak to her in person anyway.. We 100% don’t want anything happening whilst we’re not at home, so at the very least I’d want the date changed. She could absolutely put up fence panels back to back with the ones already in place if it’s purely for cosmetic reasons, but she’s said in her note that the workmen will be using the concrete posts in between the panels that are already in place so I’d guess she’d need new posts for another fence and that’s going to cost more.

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Original poster
Muddleofpud · 03/10/2020 19:28

It's your fence, on your land, if she purchases and installs another fence, is she gifting you a new fence?

It sounds like a legal/contractual and boundary line disaster.

I’d not even thought about this aspect

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ForTheLoveOfCatFood · 03/10/2020 19:30

Agree it’s rude not to discuss and talk to you before arranging a date.

If she can arrange for the work when you can be there to over see but if not then fence goes on her land instead and leave your fence as is

1forAll74 · 03/10/2020 19:32

I would be worried about workmen doing this job, as they probably don't care about damaging other people's precious shrubs and plants etc. Plus them doing the job when you are not there to keep an eye on them.

I had some of my mature and lovely shrubs ruined by some cowboy fencers years ago, in a similar situation to the one you have.

LaurieFairyCake · 03/10/2020 19:32

You're crackers to allow this

Even if you take pictures of your lovely plants, stand over the workmen (you can't, you're at work) and tell them not to dig down they could still damage them and there would be NO recourse for you.

Well there is recourse (court) but it's costly.

Just tell her to build her OWN fence on her own land - there is no reason at all for you to give her this when you don't know her and you don't want your plants damaged

There was a thread on here less than a month ago who came home to find all her plants fucked all the way up the garden on one side - literally ripped up out the ground

Workmen work for her - they will not give a crap about your plants

Muddypuddlesinthewoods · 03/10/2020 19:37

I'd also take photos this weekend so you have proof of what it currently looks like incase she starts the work while you're at work.
I'd also discuss who's responsibility the fence is going forward. Before I bought my house my neighbours put up a new fence which they paid for its not great quality I will eventually want to replace it however this means removing the fence they paid for and I'm not sure how to go about it without upsetting them.

Original poster
Muddleofpud · 03/10/2020 19:39

@LaurieFairyCake

You're crackers to allow this

Even if you take pictures of your lovely plants, stand over the workmen (you can't, you're at work) and tell them not to dig down they could still damage them and there would be NO recourse for you.

Well there is recourse (court) but it's costly.

Just tell her to build her OWN fence on her own land - there is no reason at all for you to give her this when you don't know her and you don't want your plants damaged

There was a thread on here less than a month ago who came home to find all her plants fucked all the way up the garden on one side - literally ripped up out the ground

Workmen work for her - they will not give a crap about your plants

See now this worries me again. I’m sure between myself and DH we can manage things if we’re both there at the time, but I’m worried she might just go ahead with it anyway. Would it be considered criminal damage?
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LittleOwl153 · 03/10/2020 19:42

If they are using existing posts, then they arebjust dropping in the gravel boards and new fence panels the it shouldn't involve any digging up of plants. If they are careful the only impact would be those attached to the fence/leaning on it.

That said I would not want this to happen whilst I was not there to oversea, and tbh would not be encouraging it to happen if the fence is sound. Putting in her own posts on the other side of yours will increase the cost alot, and will potentially cause root damage if plants are rooted around the fence.

Difficult one.

SmellsLikeFeet · 03/10/2020 19:43

Good idea about going round to speak to her. I would suggest you say that you got her note about the new fence and ask her who's installing it. I'd then go on to tell her about not touching your fence at all, then ring the contractor to advise them it's out of bounds

SuperheroBirds · 03/10/2020 19:45

I’m not entirely sure why everyone seems to think that the workmen are going to do a terrible job and your plants will be destroyed. Yes, she should have discussed it with you before booking them, and asking if you want to contribute is cheeky, but surely there is nothing wrong with the basic concept of a neighbour asking if they can replace a fence?

Original poster
Muddleofpud · 03/10/2020 19:47

@LittleOwl153

If they are using existing posts, then they arebjust dropping in the gravel boards and new fence panels the it shouldn't involve any digging up of plants. If they are careful the only impact would be those attached to the fence/leaning on it.

That said I would not want this to happen whilst I was not there to oversea, and tbh would not be encouraging it to happen if the fence is sound. Putting in her own posts on the other side of yours will increase the cost alot, and will potentially cause root damage if plants are rooted around the fence.

Difficult one.

So potentially things could be worse if she ends up having a separate fence installed.. Confused
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Original poster
Muddleofpud · 03/10/2020 19:50

@SuperheroBirds

I’m not entirely sure why everyone seems to think that the workmen are going to do a terrible job and your plants will be destroyed. Yes, she should have discussed it with you before booking them, and asking if you want to contribute is cheeky, but surely there is nothing wrong with the basic concept of a neighbour asking if they can replace a fence?
It’s just that personally I’d rather be there when this happened so that I can oversee the work done and make sure my property wasn’t damaged in any way. My issue is with the fact she’s booked it in regardless and won’t respond to my request to change the date
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