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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To find this presumptuous

80 replies

Muddleofpud · 03/10/2020 18:56

We had a note through the door today from a neighbour whose garden backs onto ours. She has decided that she wants some fence panels replaced that run across the end of her garden but runs across the side of our patio. The fence is on our land and therefore our responsibility, but she has offered to pay the cost of replacement as it’s her that wants it done. I have no real problem with this apart from the fact that we some fairly well established plants growing on our side which may get damaged but it’s workable. What has annoyed me though is that she’s already booked in the work for this week whilst we’re both at work which I wouldn’t be happy about, and also asked us if we’d like to contribute financially, which we absolutely cannot afford right now. texted her this afternoon to address the concerns I have, tell her we can’t contribute moneywise, and ask if she’d potentially reschedule the work, but she’s not responding. I’m worried she’ll just go ahead with it either way whilst we’re not in. Can she do this?

OP posts:

FlouncerInDenial · 04/10/2020 12:17

So has a conversation now been had?

MushMonster · 04/10/2020 12:20

I would say no OP. She can place a fence on her side. She does not need to touch yours. And so you would not need to worry about anything, including your plants.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/10/2020 12:23

Sunbathing
This was because they were trampling on your garden. And not being careful by the sound of it. The installers have no business trampling over ops plants. As long as they stay on the far side, it should be fine.

SunbathingDragon · 04/10/2020 12:33

@Mummyoflittledragon

Sunbathing This was because they were trampling on your garden. And not being careful by the sound of it. The installers have no business trampling over ops plants. As long as they stay on the far side, it should be fine.

No it wasn’t. You are every so presumptuous.

custardbear · 04/10/2020 12:57

I'd be skeptical, we allowed our neighbours to replace the fence, it was a new apartment complex so a lovely soundproof fence, even
Gave them permission to remove the plants if they provided new ones about a year later when they'd finished doing the work , all agreed then the building company changed hands ... they did make it right ish on our side but they would only give us the surplus horrible plants they bought for the grounds - really cross!

Elsewyre · 04/10/2020 12:59

[quote Muddleofpud]@Elsewyre, yes I think that’s what she’s suggesting. I’m not very knowledgeable about this stuff, does that make a difference?[/quote]
Ywah they're just pre cast concrete panels that go between the posts.

Helps stop wooden panels rotting, things digging through etc.

But it's a lift up slot in job, half way decent builder will easily be able to do it from once side and with no damage to anything growing.

It's just quicker to have one each side trampling the flowers so if you're not there that might happen

Elsewyre · 04/10/2020 13:01

@MushMonster

I would say no OP. She can place a fence on her side. She does not need to touch yours. And so you would not need to worry about anything, including your plants.

Well except for the horrific rotting mess of dead plants and animals that will build up between 2 back oto back fences

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/10/2020 13:03

You are every so presumptuous

Ha ha ha

Enchantmentz · 04/10/2020 13:04

A face to face conversations and her showing you her plans from her perspective is what is needed so you can make your position clear. You are right to be concerned that she might do something that you wouldn't be happy with. She wbu to just text and presume you would agree to it.

MushMonster · 04/10/2020 13:05

We do have back to back fences here and nothing is growing there. They have some gravel in between. They are no more than 10 cm appart. So based on my own experience I would go for that.

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 04/10/2020 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RepeatSwan · 04/10/2020 14:56

If the op wants to change the fence next year, can they just do it?

InfertilitySukks · 04/10/2020 15:53

Take photos of the fence as it is now, even close-up of the edges and bases.

Photograph the letter if you’re going to post it through her door.

overnightangel · 04/10/2020 15:58

5 words:
“This doesn’t work for me”

Bonniegirlie · 04/10/2020 16:05

Firstly, I would take LOTS of photographs ASAP. Then you can decide what you want to happen. If it is your fence then it would be criminal damage or theft if they removed the panels without your permission. Plus the potential damage to your plants. If you decide to let them do it, you need to know exactly what is being installed. And I would get that in writing too. If she's paying for it, she will probably have the "nice" side facing her. Is that OK with you? If you go and see her and she insists she's going to do it whether you like it or not then I would speak to the police about it. We had a neighbour who started trimming overhanging tree branches (which he was allowed to do) When I went to the bottom of the garden to see what was going on because I heard him, the cheeky git had his ladder resting on our tree (ie over our garden) and was planning TO CUT THE TREES DOWN because he didn't like them! He wasn't taking any notice of me and I had to get the police round to explain the notion of criminal damage to him and luckily he took notice of them.

SlopesOff · 04/10/2020 16:27

My neighbour paid to put a fence on the border, previously had been a nice hedge but they let it die, it was our hedge but it needed dealing with and they are lower than us so needed to stop our garden sliding into theirs. We agreed to removal of dead stuff and ivy.

One day I went down to find workmen removing stuff. I noticed they had cut down a shrub that was remaining from the hedge and was mine and was not best pleased, but knew that neighbour would have told them to remove everything, he has no knowledge about plants and if it is in the way it has to go. Sadly we have had no blue tits here since.

I did tell the men not to remove anything on my side and they left the rest of the shrubs. They put gravel boards in which were not high enough as they had dug down, and then told me not to put any soil against the fence or it would rot. Not pleased. Contractor was a know it all pompous git but the fence looks nice.

I would ensure that you put everything in writing and, keep a copy, drop one round by hand and also send one by signed for delivery. State exactly what you want, ie: do not touch your fence or property in any way or trespass on your land. And you need to know exactly who is supposed to be doing the work and when, and to be there to ensure it is what you want if they are touching your property.

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 04/10/2020 19:08

Just popping back to say sorry for the emoji post - 6yo dd was messing about with my phone earlier... I'll ask mnhq to remove it

Original poster

Muddleofpud · 04/10/2020 20:54

Hi everyone sorry have been at work.. No conversation as yet, she wasn’t in this morning and I’ve been at work since. No response to the text either. I’m going to go round there tomorrow morning, and if she’s not there then I’ll pop a letter through the door stations that were not happy and do not give permission. Both myself and DH have managed to swap out shifts around so we’ll both be home on the day she’s booked the work in for, so if she does try anything we can stop it immediately. I will take lots of photos now and photograph the letter before I put it through her door..

OP posts:

Thisisnotnormal69 · 04/10/2020 20:58

Ugh this sounds like the beginning of a real headache! Be VERY firm, in writing!

RepeatSwan · 04/10/2020 21:01

@Muddleofpud

I think best to be very clear like this as the fact you can't get hold of the other party would make me very worried.

Original poster

Muddleofpud · 04/10/2020 21:14

Update!! Literally 5 minutes ago she responded to my text, saying she hadn’t seen it
She’s said that the fact that we have concerns has now given her anxiety so she’s going to cancel the whole thing. Hopefully that’s the end of it then

OP posts:

GrolliffetheDragon · 04/10/2020 22:03

Don't let her do it. I lived in a house where the fence on my side had been replaced by a neighbour and it caused no end of problems because he really did see it as his fence.

If she pays for it she'll probably see it as hers to do with as she wants even if it's on your land.

BloggersBlog · 04/10/2020 22:44

Ah that's good she's cancelled.
Wonder how your concerns have given her anxiety? In case it causes problems between you?
Anyway, good result. Plus good that you and dh have arranged your work so you can check in case her anxiety eases and the work does go ahead. cynical moi?

RepeatSwan · 04/10/2020 22:51

I am glad to hear she got back to you!

PlanDeRaccordement · 04/10/2020 22:59

I think legally she cannot do this. Also, I would not allow it as it is technically an encroachment on your land. If you let it happen and do not assert your rights as landowner, you could be in for a boundary dispute and survey issues if/when you go to sell your property.

For this and the many good reasons already listed by prior posters, I would not allow it at all. Even if you have to take time off work to guard your fence and make sure her contractors don’t do the work behind your backs unwittingly. She has to be lying and saying it’s her fence or she has permission.

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