To not tell my family when I go into labour?

[Wobbitcatcher]

I’m due my 2nd baby any day now. With my son my husband was keeping everyone updated on WhatsApp but made the mistake of saying her next check is at midnight but midwife thinks baby will be here before then.

Baby wasn’t born until nearly 3am and with stitches etc we were pretty busy so he didn’t actually update them again until 4am.

My family were in bits - a way over the top reaction, they thought I was dead

The situation is more complicated this time as my SIL is also pregnant and already overdue, she will be upset/fuming if I have my baby before she has hers.

My instinct is just to not tell them anything, they can’t worry if they don’t know and they could wake up to a baby photo instead of staying up all night worrying.

My dhs family will be looking after our son so no need for them to know.

I’m currently having strong period pains so think something could happen this evening!

@Wobbitcatcher

The situation is more complicated this time as my SIL is also pregnant and already overdue, she will be upset/fuming if I have my baby before she has hers

Seriously? Maybe you should get some kind of plug and keep your baby in until she says it’s ok for the poor thing to come out!?

I've been the one to look after my DD's older children when she's in labour and have, of course, always known.

The last labour was induced but her DH rang me when she went into to labour and I let her sister know.

However, it would never have occurred to either her sister or me to expect updates; what exactly is your family expecting to be updated on?

Her husband let me know a couple of hours after the baby was born and sent me pictures, I let everyone else know, although I didn't tell their children as I thought that was for them to do.

Your SIL sounds ridiculous and your family sound very selfish.

You and your DH don't need the added pressure of having to worry about other people and their wants and needs during your labour and the birth.

Don't tell them you're in labour, soon enough to let them know when the baby is here.

My brother didn't tell us my SIL was in labour with their first. Just phoned when she arrived. He only told my parents (& me) when she went into labour with their second because my parents were needed for childcare. Noone else was told though.

Made total sense and noone was offended either time

I also made the mistake of letting people know I was in labour with my first...I was in labour for almost 48 hours and it was a nightmare. With the others I didn’t mention it to anyone who didn’t directly need to know (the person watching the other children) and it was much better.

I didn't tell my mum I was going in to be induced! I think I spoke to her once in the few days I was in hospital before the birth and just kept the conversion neutral. Only after the event did I admit I hadn't been at home all that time, but that I hadn't wanted to worry her (and have her ringing every two mins for updates).

I had asked DP to ring her soon
after the birth but she didn't answer the phone! She then complained, when I did manage to speak to her, that we hadn't told her earlier!!! 🤷🏼‍♀️ 🤣

I'm expecting our 2nd on Saturday and in exactly the same boat. My mum phoned the labour ward twice while I was in labour first time because she was 'so worried'. DH had to leave me twice to go and speak to her. It was a fucking nightmare.

This time I'm saying nothing.

Your SIL sounds like a nightmare!

Definitely don't tell them

My Mum knew when my sister was in labour - updated when going into labour suite but then things went pear-shaped and it was 14 hours later my dsis called her with birth announcement (dn was 6 wks early, 4lb, blue and was hours until she could see him)

My Mum was horrible to her - saying she had been up all night worrying and how could we not have called earlier with an update
Dsis has never forgiven her for ruining the only first birth announcement she would ever have (dn is only child)

During my first labour I had 2 calls from my mum patched through to labour suite and MIL called by the ward just to get an update!

After the event is fine!

Any news @Wobbitcatcher. Hope you’re good.

Social media has had an enormous impact on our lives but it has had an adverse effect on women giving birth.
It's almost expected that birthing women ( and their partners , particularly) should keep Uncle Tom Cobley and All up to date on every moment of the birth process nowadays.

If you want a private birth then you tell them. Tell your partner to not update on his mobile. Let people wait until you're ready. It won't hurt them.
Your baby's birth does not belong to other people.

Definitely no need to keep everyone else in the loop. Your pregnancy = your way!

@Proudling no news yet, 9 days overdue now!
SIL is being induced tomorrow so at least she’s happy!
I have horrific toothache so hoping to get an emergency appointment tomorrow and the first time in weeks I’m desperately hoping the baby doesn’t come tonight!
Thanks for checking in!

Don't tell them. I never told anybody anything until after I'd had my baby, neither did husband.

It wouldn't even cross my mind to tell anybody. Why would they need to know?
However, YABVU if you can't keep your legs crossed and let sister-in-law deliver first.

Just an update! Baby girl was born at 2pm today (I was admitted an hour before my induction slot in active labour!)

SIL had her baby Wednesday so was happy to go first!

We didn’t tell anyone we were heading in this morning but they did know about the induction so it wasn’t a big secret. They thought my husband wasn’t with me (SIL was induced and had to go it alone) so they weren’t hounding him for updates.

No one has moaned so far and baby is really sweet, calm and happy!

Congratulations!

Congratulations 👶🏼👏

Congratulations!!

Well done

Congratulations!! Glad you're both safe and well x