to think mindfulness doesn’t work for everyone?

[notinthestarsigns]

I went to a mindfulness session this evening, it was the first session of a 4 week course and I am going to keep going, but I really don’t think it is for me! I find Yoga and physical exercise is really beneficial for my mental health but this session involved things like holding a raisin in your palm, feeling how light/heavy it is, stretching it and looking at the wrinkles on it. If it does help others, which I’m sure it does, then it’s great that it exists, but unless I’m missing something then I really can’t see me getting into it. I found the Chinese takeaway and glass of wine I had when I got home much more relaxing!

I think that's a bit like saying 'Is clearing your head good for everyone?'

It is, but everybody finds their own way.

Not everybody needs a raisin.

It’s just been marketed now and sold to people as a package

This.

I don't want to diss it as it does appear to help many people, especially with anxiety-related issues. I just can't abide the way it's touted as some kind of panacea.

I have to see a few of different types of therapists and the first thing a new one always says is 'Have you tried mindfulness?'. I have mindfulness coming out of my backside. I've given it a really good try and for a long time too. No amount of 'five things I can see' will reduce the swelling in my knees and it makes no odds how heavy that bloody raisin is, my fingers still look like sausages.

It seems like a polite way of fobbing people off and saying 'it's all in the mind' to me.

I agree with ViciousJackdaw . It sends you a message that your problems are not real, they are just on your head (and sometimes they really are).

I probably would fit in a few thoughts about my DD’s additional needs in between looking at a raisin. I always managed to get myself into a state in yoga sessions thinking about my long list of jobs or pain in my back at relaxation time.

I've had decent relaxation out of yoga before. Possibly because I'm quite shit at it so have to concentrate hard 😁

What I want to know though is if all these 'yogis' are so at peace with the world and, y'know, grateful, (namaste 🙏 and all that bollocks) why the fuck do they always look so miserable in class. Why is yoga literally the worst exercise fun wise with people who look smug, pissed off or even both? Go to a pub and all you see is smiling faces, and all you hear is people laughing and chatting.

Go to yoga and all you see are pinched faces with people jostling yo get to the front to be noticed by the teacher. Shame because it's actually jolly good exercise. The teachers are usually nice (although a little earnest) it gets you very fit and I personally find it mentally very relaxing.

@greenlynx yoga is incredible for your back. Really really good - and that lying down one is excellent for it.

It stresses me out and makes me tearful.

Mindfulness is relative

At the risk of stating the obvious - it only works if you need it. If you don’t need it then you won’t see any difference.

It’s purpose us to bring your focus into the present if you are either

• worrying about the future
• obsessing over the past

If you are not having a problem with either of these things, then it’s not going to really do anything for you. Stick with yoga 😊

I would massively get the giggles looking at a raisin in my hand!

I think the trouble is that mindfulness is pushed by so many people and its become a fashionable strategy, sometimes pushed by people with no clear understanding of how to use it. I did various training sessions through work for years, dutifully eating my square of chocolate or looking at my raisin and no matter how hard I tried, I just didn't get it. Then I started receiving support from MIND and starting going to an art group. I was feeling particularly anxious one day and decided to do some painting out in the garden, got totally absorbed in looking at the flowers and painting them and suddenly realised what it was all about. I'd 'got it'. I think whatever you do or use to become mindful, it needs to be something that you can become absorbed in and quite frankly, raisins and squares of chocolate don't cut it! although perhaps a giant bar of Cadburys Caramel might

Tried it and found it really stressful and confusing -I was left feeling angry and not at all relaxed
so I was dreading being obliged to sit in on a session for work reasons.
It was completely different. The tutor wanted us to try the excersizes with no pressure for them to 'do' anything - and that is kind of the point of it to step out of constantly thinking things over. Overthink that and you get all wound up worrying if you'll do it right /fall asleep etc

I find mindfulness as it’s touted by the “industry” completely useless, it’s become this one size fits all cure and I also hate the way there must be something wrong with you and the way you practice mindfulness if you claim it doesn’t work for you.

I do think having something that’s absorbing, that gets you to a state of flow (where something is so absorbing you give it your full focus and time seems to fly by) is very good for you but a good craft project does that for me. Eating a chocolate mindfully just doesn’t cut it.

Its a "concept" that I really struggle with too. I also can't meditate.

I can't stand the mindfulness exercises my counsellor asks me to do, but I'm naturally just apathetic.

@TheLastStarfighter

At the risk of stating the obvious - it only works if you need it. If you don’t need it then you won’t see any difference.

It’s purpose us to bring your focus into the present if you are either

• worrying about the future
• obsessing over the past

If you are not having a problem with either of these things, then it’s not going to really do anything for you. Stick with yoga 😊

And if the present is shit, then what ?

At the risk of stating the obvious - it only works if you need it. If you don’t need it then you won’t see any difference.

That’s such an “Emperors New Clothes” statement.

No matter how hard I try to concentrate I can't stop the constant stream going on in my head.

Not everything will suit everyone. When we did a mindfulness session at work we did at least get to contemplate a chocolate rather than a raisin and got to eat it (slowly) at the end.

I had mindfulness suggested as a way of shutting off mind chatter and getting to sleep. It works to an extent as I get to sleep but it's like my mind realises it's been tricked and after half an hour prods me awake with more stuff to think about

And if the present is shit, then what

Then shit, but minus the worry about the future and the obsession about the past.

At the risk of stating the obvious - it only works if you need it. If you don’t need it then you won’t see any difference

That's not the case. You can be more present in the moment whenever there's a moment.

*then it's shit, sorry.

@Ontheroadtorecovery

That's the human condition. We're addicted to thinking and it feels impossible to stop.

I've found I'm crap at it when I try do it, but the more i try the more I find myself actually being mindful without trying if that makes sense. Like I'm Shite at it when I practice but the more I practice the more I randomly notice I'm taking in moments and being more aware if that makes sense.

It's one of those things that only works if you imagine it to, like a self help book or 'power of positive thinking' affirmations. Personally I think it's a load of bull, and have had to really bite my tongue when lectured about it by starry-eyed friends who next week will be sharing posts about how Covid can be fixed by hugging it out. However, if others feel it actually helps their mental health then who am I to judge that.

@BrumBoo

Do you think that the concept is a load of bull, ie, not stressing about the future or past, or do you think the way it's being marketed these days is a load of bull?

Hugging it out isn't mindfulness.