Lack of info from school, is this normal?

[Puzzle500]

First time mum with reception child here.... No entry to classrooms obviously....but 3 weeks in and we've had 2 brief photos on an app.. No opportunity to ask the teacher how it's going.. My 4 year old will tell us she's watched cbeebies and done dressing up... Is this all I will ever find out... Is this normal? Its a good school, we think but am really struggling and would love some reassurance from the school. Does it ever improve? I don't want to be an irritating mum and hang around asking for info.. Thanks so much

Previously we have had communication books in case of any messages needed to be passed on but otherwise, in general, you don’t get updates. Just parents’ evenings and occasional emails.

This is definitely a case of 'no news is good news'. If they had concerns they'd have contacted you somehow.
It's also very normal to have a Reception child who says either nothing at all happened or just give what were to them the highlights! I sometimes had parents asking what their child had done all day as they were getting very little and I could give them a full run-down!

Hopefully now things are settled they'll be recording more on the app for you to see. I know how much parents appreciated seeing the photos.

We never got told much, and they did watch a bit of cbeebies and dressing up (which is the fun stuff that kids will tell you about). There's not a huge amount to tell tho to be honest and at my school they absolutely would let us know if anything was upsetting them etc

My 4 year old will tell us she's watched cbeebies and done dressing up... Is this all I will ever find out... Is this normal?

Yes, totally normal. You get the heavily edited highlights which only tell you their favourite bits of the day. Either that or they do 'nothing' all day, my DCs had years of feckless teachers who sat on their arse all day and never taught them a thing. Somehow they came out with a clutch of good exam passes at the end

You are all so kind! Thank you! Feeling better xxx

My DD started reception too and I've not heard anything apart from my she tells me. Not worried about it.

@bettsbattenburg

My 4 year old will tell us she's watched cbeebies and done dressing up... Is this all I will ever find out... Is this normal?

Yes, totally normal. You get the heavily edited highlights which only tell you their favourite bits of the day. Either that or they do 'nothing' all day, my DCs had years of feckless teachers who sat on their arse all day and never taught them a thing. Somehow they came out with a clutch of good exam passes at the end

Feckless teachers here as well and despite all the play dates, no playing with any other child either.

You can ask at Parents' Evening and probably see their workbooks.

It’s not normal where I live, but I get the impression our schools have adopted more technology than Britain. We get occasional class wide email updates from the teacher letting us know at least vaguely what is happening each week and each graded assignment is entered in the online grade book which parents can always view for their child.

One thing you can do is ask more leading questions.
e.g.

• what sounds did you do today
• did they have the dressing up corner
• who did you sit next to on the carpet … followed by what was the teacher telling you about
• what story did you have today

(obviously not loads of questions everyday, but 1 or 2 at some point)

I think many children only remember the last hour before pickup, so you need to jog their memories.

You could email the school and say you aren't getting much info from your child, and please could they let you know the rough daily schedule or regular features to help prompt conversation.

I learned to change my questioning style, if I asked my son “what did you do at school today” I will receive a completely useless answer. If I ask something like “did you dress up?” “What story did Miss X read?” Etc I get better answers.

I got lots of “nothing” and “I can’t remember” 😂 like having a 4 year old teenager.

I think many children only remember the last hour before pickup, so you need to jog their memories.
DS thinks he only does RE and French (they are both in the afternoon). He came home and wrote the numbers from 40-49 on his white board today (couldn't do that before) - they must have done maths at some point!

All through nursery and reception my Ds did "nothing", "just sat down" or "played sand" those were the days before online files/portfolio so we got to see his milestone book at parents evening. Needless to say he did a lot more than just sitting doing nothing.

At the school I work at we try to do at least one observation per child per week (usually it will be a few a week) but at the moment we're busy trying to settle all the new children in, get them used to routines and rules and fill in their early years tracker baseline with what they can already do when entering school.

Give the teachers time to get into the swing of the new routines and new children settled. And of you're worried then send a message or call and ask. X

Reception staff member here OP! I understand!

As others have said she’s probably telling you her highlights (CBeebies is a popular wet play treat - we watched a whole load of the cooking show on CBeebies today at lunch - can’t remember it’s name!)

I would also agree no news is most likely good news! The parents that we have had to have a proper chat with so far are children who have been wobbly, or are showing signs of needing additional support, or/ and struggled with the full days etc - your DD sounds like she’s not in that category and has probably settled fine

Another good thing to ask her about to get more response could be what sound she has been learning today, and what numbers did she do. We have started ploughing through the phonics - depending on what program the school they use there may be a rhyme / song you can ask about (if she’s doing Read Write Inc or Jolly Phonics)

In reception the daily work will consist of phonics, handwriting (either on a board or a book), stories and some sort of topic work likely (probably in the form of art or craft). May be worth asking the teacher what days she is doing things like PE, music or outside specific (I know some schools have nature areas and such).

I promise you, You won’t be “that parent” by simply sticking your head in and asking how she’s doing - best time is probably end of day though. Best way is to approach towards the end of the crowd thinning down and just start with something like “Little one is really enjoying school, she seems happy, I just wondered how everything’s going because she doesn’t tell me much!” And then just feed on, ask what you can do to help her along - this will likely get the teacher to highlight some more info on what she’s doing in class and give you more of an idea.

The online journals are interesting come primary school - especially when parents are used to constant updates from nurseries! Primarily, they document proof that the child has hit the different targets of the EYFS, whereas, while nurseries use it for the same reason, you also get a lot more of the fun stuff at nursery just to keep you posted - which schools just don’t have time to do. There’s a high chance that the teacher has a lot of observations “banked” which just aren’t published yet (thinking of my own pile of post it notes containing observations for the week that I need to type up this weekend)

Hope you’ve been put at ease a bit OP, trust me I fee the pain even though I don’t have children. I ask at the end of the day before home time what they’ve enjoyed what did they learn etc. Child’s answer today? The best bit was lunch and they learnt how to pull ten paper towels from the dispenser at once. So demoralising I love it

Thanks so so much everyone. So helpful x

Teachers don't have time to update daily diaries about each child like they do in nurseries. Its hard but you need to trust the kids are safe and learning. Ds2 has just started in foundation and I'm more relaxed but that is because I know what to expect. There is a big disconnect with first time parents I think. School do it so often they forget to tell parents things.
Here's a rundown of what my kid gets up to. He has a reading book to practise with at home. Just sounding out words, but any book will do.
They will do some phonics, sound mats( different ways to make sounds eg ow and ou) and tricky words to practise and memorise (these are words which don't follow phonic rules).
Maths is just recognising numbers, shapes, perhaps some simple addition. They occasionally watch numberblocks or something off youtube).
They do alot of play. There's a sandpit, mud kitchen, big tray filled with different things each time eg waterway, small worlds, ice. Lots of learning toys counters, sand timers, pegs, to help with maths, etc.
Its a transition from preschool really.
They have music time or dance (jump start jonny is a hit). Some form of exercise. I ask about the Muga, which is a trigger word for my kids.
They will have a group story and individual reading sessions too.
Kid will be fine.

@bananaskinsnomnom that is so helpful thank you. And an absolute classic on the paper towels!!! Really appreciate advice.

Yes it’s normal, it’s such a drastic change from nursery and preschool, hopefully at parents evening (if schools have them) you will get to ask your questions and see some of your child’s work. Least you get something out of your child my son ‘can’t remember’ daily 🙄 and he’s in year 2.

I could totally have written this, except my DS is adamant that he sits in a chair "all day and all night" and doesn't do anything, including not playing and not eating, apart from saying that whatever I plan on giving him for dinner is what he had for lunch or at breakfast club. I'm just sticking with the no news is good news mantra! It's certainly a massive change from the daily update at nursery

We’ve had quite a bit of communication. I’ve probably had about 20 observations some group, some singular, a zoom meeting about what they will be covering and quite a few notes about what they want us to do with the children. To be honest I’m still a bit in the dark as 4 year olds don’t generally tell you want you want to hear. Basically I think it’s totally normal to feel a bit lost even if the school gives loads of info like mine has.

DD is also in reception and we don't get anything from the teacher after the first day or two. That is until today and she was fighting with a child over a bike and they told me at the end of the day.

Based on this I would take the "no news is good news" approach as above.

I feel your pain op. DS just started too. I get informed if he did play on the iPad or if he didn’t. I have spent the vast majority of my career in early years so I should know better!

My son started P1 in August (Scotland). We were 'spoken to' about three times in the first two weeks by his teacher and classroom assistant because he really struggled to settle. He refused to eat and use the toilets, that kind of thing. They were quite concerned about him (he's a very anxious child).

None of my friends have heard a dickie bird about their children, so I would agree with previous posters that you will only hear if something is a problem.

I'm actually hearing more from DS about school than nursery! He claimed to spend most days at nursery "sitting by the cupboard" but now tells me about all the games and songs they have had and all the letter sounds they are learning.

We get a weekly newsletter pasted into their books which tells us all about the things they've done this week in their different areas. That is really good to have and I really appreciate having that level of update.