Lack of info from school, is this normal?

[Puzzle500]

First time mum with reception child here.... No entry to classrooms obviously....but 3 weeks in and we've had 2 brief photos on an app.. No opportunity to ask the teacher how it's going.. My 4 year old will tell us she's watched cbeebies and done dressing up... Is this all I will ever find out... Is this normal? Its a good school, we think but am really struggling and would love some reassurance from the school. Does it ever improve? I don't want to be an irritating mum and hang around asking for info.. Thanks so much

I reckon it’s part of accepting they are starting a new life that doesn’t involve you. It’s a shock to the system if you’ve been intimately involved with every aspect of their care up to that point. I remember examining the mostly-eaten contents of my son’s lunchbox after his first day at preschool and wistfully imagining what he looked like eating when I’m not around. And hoping there’d be someone kind enough nearby if he struggled to open his juice carton or spilt yoghurt on himself. You’ll get some info from the teacher, and some she’ll just come out with spontaneously, but I think we basically learn to accept there will be large swathes of their little lives now that are essentially a mystery.

I’ve also found that asking is useless. I just wait until he comes out with something, then stop whatever I’m doing and give him my full attention. He responds well to that and often tries to think of everything he can remember to tell me. So he starts to learn that’s a great way to get and keep my attention (instead of winding his brothers up), and I get the info I’ve been longing for. It’s win win. Thank you Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.

My DD is a bit young for her age and this year in year 3, she has suddenly taken up 'school role play' of an evening (she is the teacher and I am struggling through year 3 Maths challenge questions and if I do well I get to do some mindfulness colouring ..) You could try a bit of role play with her as teacher. I think you'll quickly get a sense of what class is like.

The best question I've asked my 6yr old (yr2) usually on the walk home ...

What was the best bit/favourite bit/funniest bit of today? - be prepare for lunch/hometime/I can't remember!/farts/falling off things etc...

but an upbeat question can give you a real insight.

It still works with my 11yr old yr7 when she gets home and often brightens her mood as the last bit of the day is often not her favourite!!

The most effective long term plan is to make friends with some other parents in the class (not that practical at the moment though). Each child will tell their parent one or two things and then with several accounts you can work out what they have been doing. Small children also seem to be far more willing to tell what happened to another child at school - like telling you that Jake spent all day under the table but having no clue what they did themselves. Although they almost always know what they had for lunch!

It's normal. No harm in just making brief contact with the teacher by email to ask if your DC has settled in ok if it will out your mind at ease. I know if all thirty did that it would be a pain for the teacher but in reality you might be one of two parents who do. (I am a teacher by the way so not being unsympathetic to the difficulties they face)

Usually after the first few week they would bring you in for a meeting, but this year we are having a zoom meeting due to corona. I wouldn’t worry because if your child wasn’t getting on well you would be the first to be told/called. Sound like their having a blast!🙂

Normal, and also normal to be shocked by the change in contact from nursery to reception.
No news is good news, if they're worried they'll contact you. So otherwise assume all's fine.
And all children give very edited highlights of the day
In time you learn how to winkle extra information out but it's a lengthy process.
Don't worry, you'll get used to it.

I feel similar, op. Wasn't really expecting a constant update, but the only thing my child brings home from reception is a daily accident form (and one trip to A and E, after 1 month ). I'm pretty unimpressed actually, not even a reading book sent home so far. All 'homework' is online, this week they've been asked to count a few object at home, which seems very basic and unchallenging. All I get told is 'we played outside', but at least there's plenty of exercise and fresh air (and accidents).

There's normally a quick meet the teacher meeting before Oct half term where you get more on how they're settling etc.

Yes sounds pretty normal. With regard to asking your child tho I always find it better to avoid such open questions such as 'what did you do today' and ask much more specific ones. 'Was it pizza for dinner today' will get a response especially if you're wrong. 'Did miss x sing a silly song today' 'was y playing with you today'