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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Woke up to find picture of vibrator on my phone

40 replies

Deedee9 · 02/10/2020 16:33

So this morning I woke up and opened the browser on my phone to find an image of a vibrator/dildo on a well known sex toys website. Now my dh has used my phone before once when his phone broke and he was waiting for his new one to come and another time when it was being repaired. Both those time’s he’d taken my phone when I’ve been asleep looked at porn and forgot to clear the history. I of course asked him about it. The first time he lied but admitted it later and the second time he was honest and said he had looked at it. So my first thought was obviously my dh had taken my phone again especially since he accidentally left his phone in work yesterday and only got it back today. But then I panicked that maybe our 8 year old ds had snuck my phone early this morning to play games and maybe an inappropriate pop up came up. But he only plays roblox and nothing has popped up before. So i gently (not using any inappropriate wording) quizzed my son to see if he had used my phone at all and if anything had popped up. He was honest (can always tell if he lies) and said no and that he’d been on his tablet and played roblox on that and not on my phone.. But to be fair he’d have no reason to lie anyway. So when my dh came home from work i of course asked him about this and he denied it. Due to previous behaviours my gut feeling was that he is lying. We have a great sex life and to be honest I’m not offended by (soft) porn or sex toys. The only thing that bothered me was when he did look at porn he lied about it. I don’t care if he watches it and he knows that. So if he didn’t search this who did? Oh and fwiw I also have two teenagers. But they have their own phones and I very much doubt they’d search this sort of thing on their own phones never mind their mum’s phone. AIBU to want to get to the bottom of this?

OP posts:
Ohdoleavemealone · 02/10/2020 17:02

Ask your husband again.

BexR · 02/10/2020 17:05

Would your teenagers do it as a joke/dare?

WantANewHome · 02/10/2020 17:05

Can you look at the browser history to get the time and website

Thisseatisnotavailable · 02/10/2020 17:07

If you don't care that he watches porn whats the problem? if you don't like that he does it on your phone, put a lock on your phone.

AdoraBell · 02/10/2020 17:20

Put a passcode, or change the current one, on your phone. Don’t tell anyone what it is.

Re your DH lying the first time, ask him again and if he says No then tell him if it wasn’t him it must have been one of the children. If he is lying that should make him to be honest, and if he isn’t lying then he can ask the teenagers like you asked the younger child.

CambsAlways · 02/10/2020 17:25

She doesn’t care if he watches porn it’s the lying about it

WitsEnding · 02/10/2020 17:27

The scrabble app keeps giving me ads for vibrators at the moment - I may have used the odd rude word but my internet history is spotless.
Could it be something like this?

CurlyhairedAssassin · 02/10/2020 17:27

What would your DH/s motivations be for looking at a vibrator? My first thought was that he was a bit shy about suggesting you use one together, and that a photo of one left on your phone may get a conversation started

TorkTorkBam · 02/10/2020 17:30

Why did you ask him? You know it was him. Did you actually want to say "DH please make sure you close the browser when you use my phone, I got a right shock this morning."

Butterfly3105 · 02/10/2020 17:32

He could have been on the webite and the website just flashed it up, why he's lying I have no idea?!

Deedee9 · 02/10/2020 17:34

I've asked him again and he said that after last time and the upset it caused he would be honest if he had done it. Last time i could tell he was lying but this time i don't know.

OP posts:
RedskyAtnight · 02/10/2020 17:38

Are you sure you didn't accidently click on a link yourself, rather than shutting down your browser before you put your phone down? I'm forever doing that. Check browser history?

tmh88 · 02/10/2020 17:40

This might sound crazy but I once while asleep sent a friend a really bizarre jumbled text I had no recollection of! It could of only been done in my sleep and I was alone so nobody else did it! Could you of maybe been browsing in your sleep or maybe accidentally pressed a pop up before you locked your phone for the night?

Deedee9 · 02/10/2020 17:43

No because i always clear my browser history. Not because i'm looking at anything untoward. It's just habit really.

OP posts:
Deedee9 · 02/10/2020 17:44

Oh i never thought of that. I doubt it but suppose it's possible.

OP posts:
Regularsizedrudy · 02/10/2020 17:48

Oh for gods sake, it’s clearly your dh. There’s nothing to get to the bottom of. He’s a perv who looks at pervy stuff so much he has to do it even in the 24 hours he’s not with his phone. Is your sex life normal. He sounds very weird. I wouldn’t dream looking at porn on someone else phone - can he not postpone a wank one day?

Deedee9 · 02/10/2020 17:51

I think perv is a bit harsh. Yes our sex life is good neither of us have any complaints. Sex/porn aside we have a good relationship, get on really well, and still make each other laugh like we did back when we met as teenagers. If dh ever has any issues he'll speak to me about things as i do with him.

OP posts:
WhatifIfeellikeacat · 02/10/2020 17:52

Your DH probably hoped you would want to buy it because this is his secret wish to see you using a vibratorConfused

PlanDeRaccordement · 02/10/2020 17:58

You don’t have to have visited a sex toy website to get an add for one pop up. And clearing browser history doesn’t always clear the cookies. It’s quite possible that the ad has shown up based on them knowing you are female, sexually active and in a long term relationship. By them I mean the data file on you that is sold to advertisers based on your profile.

Iola4 · 02/10/2020 18:02

Maybe your husband wants to use one on himself?! Haven't the faintest.
But what puzzles me is why would he lie about viewing porn if you are cool with it?

ClementineWoolysocks · 02/10/2020 18:04

Is he ordering your Christmas present early?
I don't think a picture of a vibrator warrants getting to the bottom of anything and it would be a very odd visual image to wank to.
Also, there's nothing pervy about sex toys.

Deedee9 · 02/10/2020 18:06

lol well we have a good sex life and are very open with each other (usually) so if he was thinking along those lines he knows he could mention it.

OP posts:
Deedee9 · 02/10/2020 18:08

I asked him that and he said he just felt a bit embarrassed. But really he's no need to. I'm no prude but what i do expect is honesty.

OP posts:
SunshineCake · 02/10/2020 18:08

@Deedee9

I think perv is a bit harsh. Yes our sex life is good neither of us have any complaints. Sex/porn aside we have a good relationship, get on really well, and still make each other laugh like we did back when we met as teenagers. If dh ever has any issues he'll speak to me about things as i do with him.
Except speaking to you about looking at sex toys on your phone..
Esspee · 02/10/2020 18:16

Trust me, if you DH looks at porn your sex life is not satisfying him.

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