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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Woke up to find picture of vibrator on my phone

40 replies

Deedee9 · 02/10/2020 16:33

So this morning I woke up and opened the browser on my phone to find an image of a vibrator/dildo on a well known sex toys website. Now my dh has used my phone before once when his phone broke and he was waiting for his new one to come and another time when it was being repaired. Both those time’s he’d taken my phone when I’ve been asleep looked at porn and forgot to clear the history. I of course asked him about it. The first time he lied but admitted it later and the second time he was honest and said he had looked at it. So my first thought was obviously my dh had taken my phone again especially since he accidentally left his phone in work yesterday and only got it back today. But then I panicked that maybe our 8 year old ds had snuck my phone early this morning to play games and maybe an inappropriate pop up came up. But he only plays roblox and nothing has popped up before. So i gently (not using any inappropriate wording) quizzed my son to see if he had used my phone at all and if anything had popped up. He was honest (can always tell if he lies) and said no and that he’d been on his tablet and played roblox on that and not on my phone.. But to be fair he’d have no reason to lie anyway. So when my dh came home from work i of course asked him about this and he denied it. Due to previous behaviours my gut feeling was that he is lying. We have a great sex life and to be honest I’m not offended by (soft) porn or sex toys. The only thing that bothered me was when he did look at porn he lied about it. I don’t care if he watches it and he knows that. So if he didn’t search this who did? Oh and fwiw I also have two teenagers. But they have their own phones and I very much doubt they’d search this sort of thing on their own phones never mind their mum’s phone. AIBU to want to get to the bottom of this?

OP posts:
SmileyClare · 02/10/2020 18:24

We're very open with each other
If he had an issue he'd share it with me
Due to previous behaviors, my gut feeling is he's lying

Which is it? You're open and honest or you don't trust him.

D4rwin · 02/10/2020 18:26

He's lied before. I'm not sure why you're surprised he's lied again.

SonjaMorgan · 02/10/2020 18:29

OP I would be concerned that your DH is unable to go for short periods without looking at porn. It sounds like some sort of addiction.

That being said I don't know why he would be looking at sex toys instead of porn. It doesn't sound like ideal viewing material and I would expect there is an innocent explanation.

couchparsnip · 02/10/2020 18:31

Teens playing truth or dare?

AliciaWhiskers · 02/10/2020 18:35

@Esspee

Trust me, if you DH looks at porn your sex life is not satisfying him.
This is nonsense.
ravenmum · 02/10/2020 18:46

Is your phone browser account the same as your PC browser account?
If so, it might have synced. Someone might have been watching porn on the PC, and the shared browsing history from the sync would make ads appear on your phone too.

SmileyClare · 02/10/2020 18:48

Theres no need to (feel embarrassed) I'm no prude

So you don't have an issue with dh using porn in his own time?

The issue is him looking at porn on your phone?

The likely explanation is he looked at porn on your phone, had a wank, and a "related" ad has now popped up on your phone.
Why not establish that you don't mind him looking at porn, just not on your phone and that you don't wish to be informed every time he knocks one out.

Put a lock on your phone if your dc occasionally pick it up and use it, as there is a chance there may be over 18 content lurking on it.

InFiveMins · 02/10/2020 18:57

It's definitely your DH. He's lied about it before, he's lying about it now.

Crunchymum · 02/10/2020 19:01

Stop giving everyone open access to your phone.

Your 8yo has your password? Why?

SoulofanAggron · 02/10/2020 19:15

Trust me, if you DH looks at porn your sex life is not satisfying him.

@Esspee I don't think that's necessarily the case at all. Some men just enjoy porn/wanking sometimes. Doesn't mean they're not content with the way their sex life is with their partner. It's like sometimes we might want chocolate rather than steak.

I think I'd be put off by a man who was majorly into porn though. It'd remind me of sleazy exes.

Busybrain2020 · 02/10/2020 19:18

Your husband is addicted to porn. It's a bit chilling that he's so desperate for it that he'd sneak onto his wife's phone while she's asleep to watch it, and then lie about it. Honestly it's so creepy and your boundaries are fucked up if you think this is ok.

I also think taking someone's phone while they're asleep for any reason is a bit invasive to be honest. And be aware that if he's looking at anything illegal then that's on your device and you'll be convicted not him.

ItIsEnola · 02/10/2020 19:22

I'm confused by the practicalities of this. Was your phone in the bedroom? Are you really suggesting DCs crept into your room when you were asleep and used your phone? I don't believe that for a second.

Also, worth reminding people not to share any stories about DCs and inappropriate content. There's always odd lurkers about on Friday nights.

Smallsteps88 · 02/10/2020 19:24

Of course it was your husband!

ulanbatorismynextstop · 02/10/2020 19:26

I've had random things pop up on my phone and I live alone.

Boobissue · 02/10/2020 23:03

Wtf! I've no issue with porn but if my DH couldn't hold of on the porn surfing because his phone was broken or being repaired and he just had to have his fix on my phone, I'd be seriously thinking he had an addiction!

You think he's lying, because he is lying!

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