AIBU to write to my brother’s GP?

[Thingsthatgo]

I’m mostly posting here for traffic, I would be very interested to hear other people’s opinions and experiences. Please be gentle because I am pretty broken.
My brother has been troubled for most of his life, he found school very difficult, and now finds life almost impossible. I believe that he has undiagnosed mental health issues and possibly personality disorders (are they still called that? Apologies if not).
He struggles with every aspect of life, is angry and paranoid all the time. He is clearly very depressed and anxious.
He lives with his wife, but she too seems to suffer from multiple problems. They haven’t let me visit for years, but from all accounts it is not pleasant there.
I have tried everything I can think of to help, and it is now affecting my own mental health. He will not admit he has a problem, he thinks that everyone else is the problem.

If I write to his GP (he sees her fairly regularly for a physical health problem, and she is one of the few people he respects and trusts), might she be able to open a conversation with him about his mental health? Is it allowed? Would she have to tell him that I corresponded with her?
I’m really clutching at straws. I know I can’t help him or cure him, but it’s breaking my heart every day.

Qhy haven't they let you visit?

She would have to disclose the source, or rather he can find out via the freedom of information act. On your say-so alone, she won't examine his MH, she would inform him that she'd received the letter and wait for his reaction. Unless there was a serious threat as defined by safeguarding guidelines.

Whose account are you privy to?

I ask my friend who is a GP this about my Mum. She said she often receive phone calls about her elderly parents from their children and she can listen to their concerns and keep it confidential from them if the adult child asks but she can’t tell the adult child anything.

No, I wouldn’t think you could discuss him without his consent.

You can give the GP information but she can't give you information without his consent.

Have you sought counselling for yourself? I recall you asking about this before.

One way communication (you can inform but won't be told anything) with a risk of disclosure under DPA. If you do this, write it in a way you would be happy or least unhappy if he reads it.

Good luck.

Thank you all for your advice. Chachacha yes I asked about it on the mental health board, and I have got an appointment to see a counsellor next week, which I think will help me.
I don’t wish to discuss him with his GP, I just wondered if I could highlight the problem. I am anxious that he doesn’t know it come from me because he is so paranoid, he has no friends and I don’t want to alienate him.

No harm, I would think.

My sil did this about her brother and nephew.
The GP acted on the information and things improved.

Do they have kids? If so you could list out your concerns to social services - at the very least they’ll pop round.

I think the GP may already be well aware.

Oh OP - I have similar although my brother is alone (sadly)..

I understand this might be unlawful/unethical but it's anonymous, so.. My parents contacted my DBs GP who then contacted him pretending she wanted to make an appointment to discuss something innocuous, pretending it was 'routine'- to everyone;s surprise he showed up! He was put on antipsychotic drugs and has been doing much better..

It's kind of you to be concerned for your brother. I hope whatever you do turns out well for you too.

What lockdown separation says.

Unless he signs something allowing his GP to talk to you, the GP can hear what you say, but no more.

It is common when looking after elderly parents. Your write a letter setting out your concerns. The GP can then try to initiate a conversation with the patient.

The other approach is a discussion with adult social services. If things are deteriorating rapidly so that someone no longer has the capacity to manage their own health or financial affairs, they can either agree to give someone else Power of Attorney (assuming they still have the capacity to do that) or an application to the Court of Protection is needed. The latter is complicated, which is why a chat with SS (who again can't talk about the person but can talk about possible approaches) might be worthwhile.

Yes you can but it doesn't guarantee anything can be done

What are you hoping the outcome will be? It doesn't really sound like the kind of thing a tablet will fix more that he would need to engage in therapy and have some motivation to change.

It's really hard but it might be that there is nothing you can do and you need to disengage.

yes, you can do this. It may be better to phone the GP possibly though. They wont be able to give you any info about your borther but can listen to your concerns and act on them if they feel it appropriate. They wont be able to tell you the outcome though, or any plans of care that are made.
Alternatively you could telephone your bother's local mental health access or crisis team and discuss the situation with them. If they felt appropriate they may be able to offer an assessment, but this could be trickier to arrange if he genuiinely doesnt believe he has any mental health problmes so GP may be the best first thing to try.

The GP can't discuss him with you, but you can write/phone GP (make an appt saying you've concerns about x that you'd like to let her know about in confidence). Tell them the signs you've seen. Then they do with that what they feel is appropriate. You can definitely do this about MH, especially as people are often reluctant to raise it themselves.

We phoned DM's GP to say we had concerns about her cognition. GP couldn't say anything to us, but we listed all the signs and concerns we had. Shortly after DM told us she was called to the surgery for a 'routine' check up/med review, where the GP also said something about routine testing at her age, blah blah, assessed her for dementia, and it did indeed end up with her receiving a dementia diagnosis.

I work in a surgery just in an admin role but this happens regularly. You can pass over any concerns about a family member but they can not confirm anything to you about the patient or let you know the outcome unless the patient gave consent.

@TheId

Yes you can but it doesn't guarantee anything can be done

What are you hoping the outcome will be? It doesn't really sound like the kind of thing a tablet will fix more that he would need to engage in therapy and have some motivation to change.

It's really hard but it might be that there is nothing you can do and you need to disengage.

I think that what would help would very much depend on a full mental health assessment and cant be suggested on the internet. he may well have underlying mental health problems that would respond to medicaiton, he may indeed need psychological intervention - but unless he has an assessment no one knows!

I would. I did this about my elderly dad several years ago when he was refusing to go and see his GP about something I was very worried about. A few days later he received a letter summoning him for a 'routine health review' - he was of the generation that hated to trouble the doctor but would never dare to go against doctor's orders, so he went in and the issue was raised in a roundabout way and resolved. They didn't say anything to him about having heard from me.

I contacted my neighbours GP. She had dementia. I was advised to do so by a different GP. They won't be able to discuss anything with you. But no reason not to give a heads up and say that you're worried about someone and the reason why.

As others have rightly pointed out, his GP will not discuss anything with you due to confidentiality but that doesn't stop you telling the GP your concerns etc. What the GP decides to do with the information is entirely up to them. However, remember the GP is likely to write your conversation on his consultation notes so that there is a record of your concerns and if your DB ever asked for his medical records or has patient access, he would see this. I understand you're doing this out of concern, but just be mindful of this. Wishing you well.

When I've asked mental health professionals what to do in a similar situation, they advised writing to the GP and outlining your concerns. The GP can't discuss is with you of course, but at least they would be aware.

It was the only advice I was given, really, other than you can't make them get help if they don't want it. And also to get counselling for myself, as you are already doing.

Waterandthewild that’s amazing! That is what I dream about happening. Did your brother not know about the letter at all?