AIBU to write to my brother’s GP?

[Thingsthatgo]

I’m mostly posting here for traffic, I would be very interested to hear other people’s opinions and experiences. Please be gentle because I am pretty broken.
My brother has been troubled for most of his life, he found school very difficult, and now finds life almost impossible. I believe that he has undiagnosed mental health issues and possibly personality disorders (are they still called that? Apologies if not).
He struggles with every aspect of life, is angry and paranoid all the time. He is clearly very depressed and anxious.
He lives with his wife, but she too seems to suffer from multiple problems. They haven’t let me visit for years, but from all accounts it is not pleasant there.
I have tried everything I can think of to help, and it is now affecting my own mental health. He will not admit he has a problem, he thinks that everyone else is the problem.

If I write to his GP (he sees her fairly regularly for a physical health problem, and she is one of the few people he respects and trusts), might she be able to open a conversation with him about his mental health? Is it allowed? Would she have to tell him that I corresponded with her?
I’m really clutching at straws. I know I can’t help him or cure him, but it’s breaking my heart every day.

I was basing my opinion on the chronicity of the issues as stated by the OP which in itself suggests there will be no quick fix but you are right I should not proffer an internet opinion although it is my field. The GMC would have my guts for garters.

I guess she sounds so distraught that I was wanting her not to get hopes up too far. You cannot always change someone else who does not want to be changed and in that case you can only change your own reaction to the situation. Dementia or depression are a whole lot different ballgame to entrenched personality issues in terms of prognosis.

Writing to GP is a good idea
GP does not have to tell DB
GP cannot tell OP anything without consent
If DB made a SAR in fact any 3rd party info should be redacted so OP should still be safe.

If he already suffers from paranoia, I wonder about the repercussions of becoming aware that someone has spoken to his GP about him, but being unaware of who.

I have written to the GP of an elderly relative. They were not in good health but typically of that generation would say 'I'm fine,' when they were really not. They did not want to 'bother' the doctor or make a fuss.
I knew of course they could never discuss it with me but I do think it was taken seriously and the GP started asking more probing questions during telephone consultations to tease the truth out of them (lives with spouse who asked me to help). Health issues are not solved but they are getting investigations and treatment at last. I honestly don't think that would have happened if I hadn't written the email because they would have just made polite conversation with the GP so as not to be 'any trouble' until they were dead.
I did ask that they didn't share my letter but I don't think the relative would ask for full access to their records because they completely trust doctors to do what is best. I would totally stand by it if I was ever confronted though.

It's not a terribly uncommon scenario in mental health and GPs are usually quite good at not letting on eg with the 'called you in for a routine check up' line.

The main problem is that will only get a foot in the door and then unless the person a) consents to further intervention b) lacks capacity or c) meets MHA detention criteria it may still be that nothing more can be done which is awful for families. People are allowed to refuse treatment that others might think would benefit them and that is hard to see.

The brother wouldn't normally be aware that anyone has raised concerns, especially if you explain to GP that he is unlikely to take your interference well. The GP invites them for a routine check or med review and then brings the conversation around to 'I'm noticing you're a little..." or "X is common at your age, do you have any concerns..."

DM had no idea we intervened - she would have gone ballistic, but it had to be done, for her own safety.

If the person requests their records any 3rd party information should be redacted unless that party consents to its disclosure so there shouldn't be any worry on that front.

Thank you all. I appreciate that the GP may be already aware, and may also have broached the subject with him without him telling me. I am also very aware that it might not help, if I am being honest I think it has only a very slim chance of helping. But I guess I am willing to try anything that might help. Our mum is talking (being shouted at) on the phone with him nearly every day for hours and hours, and is unable or unwilling to stop. She is having counselling, which helps her a little.

I often get calls from relatives. I use my imagination and experience to bring things up that have been raised. I would have no objection to getting a letter but obviously I couldn't tell you any outcome