To think formula is an amazing invention?

[IsoBordem]

As I was sitting and feeding my beautiful healthy, happy, and thriving baby I was suddenly so thankful for the existence of baby formula. It gets such a bad rap by some people but I would hate to think where she would be now if formula did not exist.

Seeing her in the hospital because she lost too much weight in her first week was heartbreaking. I will always be grateful that we live in an age where baby formula is available!

Bonding with the baby is equally good with ff and bf. I’m not sure why people post about how magical the bond is when bf.

@Parker231

Bonding with the baby is equally good with ff and bf. I’m not sure why people post about how magical the bond is when bf.

Have you or do you breastfeed?

No - but couldn’t have had a better bond with DC’s through ff.

@Parker231

No - but couldn’t have had a better bond with DC’s through ff.

I’ve done both and no it isn’t the same

Nobody is saying formula feeding mothers don’t bond with their baby but to say holding a bottle is the same as a baby sucking at a Nipple to trigger let down and a release of oxytocin into the mother’s bloodstream - and to say this when they themselves have never actually breastfed - is curious.

From my own personal experience holding my child and giving them a bottle is not the same as breastfeeding.

This is not to say that I am better I am not
This is not to say you do not have a bond with your children that would be ridiculous.

But one of the advantages of formula feeding is that anyone can hold the baby and the bottle and enjoy the moment with the baby, whereas physically and biologically unless breast milk is expressed only the mother can do this. By virtue of it being a bodily function certain things happen within the body that the mother experienced and feels. It is unique.

New mothers are often encouraged to look at a photo of their baby when expressing milk and I did this when my third baby was unwell in hospital at at two days old. It does work.

I did both with my 3. Bonding was definitely better with formula feeding because I bloody hated every minute of breast feeding as did my dc who were 100% happier and more contented on formula.

If I had my time again after the first couple of days I’d switch straight to formula.

Now a mum of teens and frankly the breast v formula debate has been the biggest over inflated parenting conundrum we’ve had. Seriously it’s literally minuscule compared to other parenting choices and worries.

I wonder if the breast feeding/ formula demonising obsession in this country leads to mental health issues further down the line. If you start with that amount of angst on such a small issue how are you going to handle the real parenting traumas further down the line.

It’s food, it’s perfectly healthy in this country, it plays a tiny part in life long nutrition and is a dot on the scale of importance re other parenting choices and issues.

Make your choice and don’t give it another thought.

@Parker231

Bonding with the baby is equally good with ff and bf. I’m not sure why people post about how magical the bond is when bf.

You're not sure why.....exactly, you've never tried it! You can't really make a definitive statement such as this if you have no experience of it. The bond may or may not be the same.... I've never tried using formula, so I couldn't possibly comment on it.

I can make the statement as I ff and found it gave the opportunity for me (DH and extended family) to develop an amazing bond with DC’s. Perhaps it’s equal to the bond with bf but can’t see how it could ever be better. (DC’s are now 21 so have the evidence of our bond).

You can certainly make the statement as to how well you bonded with your baby whilst FF. But having never tried BF you are unqualified to comment on the bonding experience of that. Probably best to leave it to the people who have tried both.

@Parker231

I can make the statement as I ff and found it gave the opportunity for me (DH and extended family) to develop an amazing bond with DC’s. Perhaps it’s equal to the bond with bf but can’t see how it could ever be better. (DC’s are now 21 so have the evidence of our bond).

You can’t make any statement about how you found breastfeeding in comparison to formula feeding because you have never breastfed.

That’s like me saying I find driving a car more exciting that riding a motorcycle when I’ve never even been on a motorcycle.

The thread is about how amazing formula is not for those bf to continually criticise those who positively chose to use formula. Those who bf seem to have difficulty in understanding that some of us have positive experiences of ff.

Formula is great for all sorts of reasons. It is how a BIG majority feed their babies in the UK so I think lots of people would agree OP?!

@Parker231

The thread is about how amazing formula is not for those bf to continually criticise those who positively chose to use formula. Those who bf seem to have difficulty in understanding that some of us have positive experiences of ff.

You've completely misunderstood the content of the replies you've been given regarding bonding.

@Parker231

The thread is about how amazing formula is not for those bf to continually criticise those who positively chose to use formula. Those who bf seem to have difficulty in understanding that some of us have positive experiences of ff.

No you are incorrect I don’t think anyone had personally attacked or criticised you for formula feeding I myself certainly have not

Myself and someone else have said that you are not eligible to compare breastfeeding and formula feeding because you only did one of them. That is not a criticism of formula feeding and if you interpret it as this then it says more about your perpetual need to justify your own choices To a bunch of strangers who are not actually making you do so.

Nobody is criticising you

@ShivD

Formula is great for all sorts of reasons. It is how a BIG majority feed their babies in the UK so I think lots of people would agree OP?!

Well quite. I mean the breastfeeding rates in this country are woeful and there are lots of babies being born so the maths isn’t hard it is

Plus lots of women combination feed too

I think bonding is the same ff or bf but DH would
disagree based on his experience. I think the biggest impact on my bonding was the debate around bf/ff and the emotional guilt/upheaval attached. I do wonder if they were given equal billing would there be less stress altogether. It feels like there's two camps some times.

Yes it is amazing, it is a life saver. My issue isn,t with formula its,s more with companies.

@S0apMaker

I wonder if the breast feeding/ formula demonising obsession in this country leads to mental health issues further down the line. If you start with that amount of angst on such a small issue how are you going to handle the real parenting traumas further down the line.

It’s food, it’s perfectly healthy in this country, it plays a tiny part in life long nutrition and is a dot on the scale of importance re other parenting choices and issues.

Make your choice and don’t give it another thought.

Demonising? Over 90% of women in this country formula feed their babies even higher than that after six months

Your use of that word is completely OTT
Also, your previous post in which you dismiss the choice of feeding as nothing in the scheme of things contradicts your viewpoint here.

I have breastfed and formula fed though the latter to a much smaller degree. My babies didn’t sleep better on formula. My babies weren’t more content on formula. In fact the opposite.
Also I think that choosing to stop doing something you hated doesn’t by dint of that make something else superior as a bonding experience. If you are honest you probably were relieved to get off what you saw as a hamster wheel of breastfeeding and you appreciated the fact that other people could take your place at feeding time, have a meal, get some sleep. These are all benefits and I totally understand that, but these suggest increased independence from a baby rather than an increased level of bonding through switching to a bottle. You found the end result of a different process more appealing not the actual act itself.

My god, shesgonebatshitagain, you’re literally telling women here that their experiences aren’t valid, that they’re not being attacked when that’s how they feel, you’re telling them their bonding experiences don’t exist because they’ve formula fed.

And yet you still have no idea why they’re using terms like demonising and criticise? Which you're claiming are OTT. Fuck sake. 🤦🏼‍♀️You don’t have to say derogatory things about formula to be a twat and belittle someone.

@SistineScreamer

My god, shesgonebatshitagain, you’re literally telling women here that their experiences aren’t valid, that they’re not being attacked when that’s how they feel, you’re telling them their bonding experiences don’t exist because they’ve formula fed.

And yet you still have no idea why they’re using terms like demonising and criticise? Which you're claiming are OTT. Fuck sake. 🤦🏼‍♀️You don’t have to say derogatory things about formula to be a twat and belittle someone.

Back again to hurt abuse at me I see. Some of you can’t read it seems to me.

Did you see that I used the words “benefit” and “I understand “
Millions of women laud formula because it means they can get some space from the exhausting demands of a baby. Someone else can literally take over. I merely described bottle feeding - note not necessarily formula - as an act which has the opportunity to increase an individuals independence from a baby and give them a few minutes of their life back to do something else. I am saying the increased capacity to do other thing might indirectly increase the bonding feelings directly in response to a woman who said she bloody hated breastfeeding.

I am not saying formula feeding mothers don’t bond with their baby. I have explicitly stated that in another of my posts.

I have even stated in this thread I have also formula and bottle fed my three children. Missed that bit I suspect, while you were directing your withering fire on me.

You are so defensive and aggressive, clearly this is not really about my views at all or any statements I make but something else. Is this how you speak to people in real life you don’t agree with?

Hurl abuse at you? What I have I said that is abusive to you? Please tell me, I'd love to see more of your assumptions.

Wow, you used something remotely positive in terms of formula feeding. Bravo. Do you want a medal? It doesn't absolve you of the rest of the crap you've said.

“Shouldn’t have to bring something else down if you are secure in what you decide.”

Oh the fucking irony. 😂 You’ve went after these women to tear down their positive experiences of formula feeding. Tell them their experiences are wrong, that they don’t matter because you’ve had such wonderful experiences about breastfeeding, and look at all these magical things breastfeeding cures/wards off so how could it possibly be anything other than wonderful/amazing/Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

“S0apMaker
I wonder if the breast feeding/ formula demonising obsession in this country leads to mental health issues further down the line. If you start with that amount of angst on such a small issue how are you going to handle the real parenting traumas further down the line.”

Your response -

“Demonising? Your use of that word is completely OTT

Also I think that choosing to stop doing something you hated doesn’t by dint of that make something else superior as a bonding experience. If you are honest you probably were relieved to get off what you saw as a hamster wheel of breastfeeding and you appreciated the fact that other people could take your place at feeding time, have a meal, get some sleep. These are all benefits and I totally understand that, but these suggest increased independence from a baby rather than an increased level of bonding through switching to a bottle. You found the end result of a different process more appealing not the actual act itself.”

You’re belittling her feelings and calling her dramatic (OTT). You’ve decided to assume what she’s feeling (if you’re honest) and tell her what she is actually feeling (You found the end result of a different process more appealing not the actual act itself)

S0apMaker has said her bonding experience increased because she switched to formula. How is that hard to understand? If she truly hated breastfeeding then having to constantly do it will result in a negative association with the act and by default her bonding experience with her baby will suffer. Switching to formula increases her mood/mental health and makes it easier to feed said baby. That’s it. That’s how she feels.

“Parker231
The thread is about how amazing formula is not for those bf to continually criticise those who positively chose to use formula. Those who bf seem to have difficulty in understanding that some of us have positive experiences of ff.”

Your response -

“No you are incorrect/Nobody is criticising you”

This is how Parker feels. You’re telling her she’s wrong for feeling this way because YOU don’t see anything that’s been said in this thread as an issue.

“squeekums
it suited me best. I got to bond with dd, not feel like a cow who is nothing more than a milk bar. “

Your response -

“The act of breastfeeding actually releases oxytocin, so I’m not sure what you mean by you got to bond because you were bottle feeding instead of breast feeding. “

You’ve said this but then went onto day further up thread that no one has said FF mums don’t get to bond with their children - really? This woman has said she got to bond with her child while feeding and you’re bringing in breastfeeding facts to ...disprove this bond? So because she FF she doesn’t get to bond with her baby? It’s not bodily as breastfeeding is but to try to say she didn’t bond with her child while feeding because she didn’t breastfeed is ridiculous. Again, you’re invalidating her experience.

“Squeekums
I didn't need to ruin myself mentally to try try and try again”

Your response -

“There has been research into breastfeeding and women’s postpartum mental health. There are some interesting articles on the subject. Women who breastfeed were found to be at lower risk of developing PND in the first place than women who do not breastfeed in one study. For women who do have PND, breastfeeding has been linked to fewer depressive symptoms. Regular breastfeeding at three months has also been attributed as one of the factors that can contribute to a greater decline in symptoms of PND.”

Again you’re bringing in breastfeeding facts to invalidate and disprove another woman’s experience. Women who BF are at lower risk, there’s still risk there. Since she has already said her mental health would suffer would you suggest Squeekums continue to try to BF even when she’s said trying on the off chance nothing negative happens? She knows her limits and has stated as such.

Another one of your responses to Squeekums -

“I’ve never felt like a cow or a milk bar. I love breastfeeding it is a very special time for you and your baby or child. I love the fact that breastfeeding is a source of comfort and security for them too.”

Thing is that’s your experience. Magical, special time all yours. It hasn’t got anything to do with Squeekums. Her ‘cow milk bar’ is her feelings and experience. Just because you’ve experienced something positively doesn’t mean she has to.

@SistineScreamer

Hurl abuse at you? What I have I said that is abusive to you? Please tell me, I'd love to see more of your assumptions.

Wow, you used something remotely positive in terms of formula feeding. Bravo. Do you want a medal? It doesn't absolve you of the rest of the crap you've said.

“Shouldn’t have to bring something else down if you are secure in what you decide.”

Oh the fucking irony. 😂 You’ve went after these women to tear down their positive experiences of formula feeding. Tell them their experiences are wrong, that they don’t matter because you’ve had such wonderful experiences about breastfeeding, and look at all these magical things breastfeeding cures/wards off so how could it possibly be anything other than wonderful/amazing/Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

“S0apMaker
I wonder if the breast feeding/ formula demonising obsession in this country leads to mental health issues further down the line. If you start with that amount of angst on such a small issue how are you going to handle the real parenting traumas further down the line.”

Your response -

“Demonising? Your use of that word is completely OTT

Also I think that choosing to stop doing something you hated doesn’t by dint of that make something else superior as a bonding experience. If you are honest you probably were relieved to get off what you saw as a hamster wheel of breastfeeding and you appreciated the fact that other people could take your place at feeding time, have a meal, get some sleep. These are all benefits and I totally understand that, but these suggest increased independence from a baby rather than an increased level of bonding through switching to a bottle. You found the end result of a different process more appealing not the actual act itself.”

You’re belittling her feelings and calling her dramatic (OTT). You’ve decided to assume what she’s feeling (if you’re honest) and tell her what she is actually feeling (You found the end result of a different process more appealing not the actual act itself)

S0apMaker has said her bonding experience increased because she switched to formula. How is that hard to understand? If she truly hated breastfeeding then having to constantly do it will result in a negative association with the act and by default her bonding experience with her baby will suffer. Switching to formula increases her mood/mental health and makes it easier to feed said baby. That’s it. That’s how she feels.

You accused me of belittling someone and being a twat. I consider that abusive.

I’m not demonising anyone. I suggested that demonising was OTT especially when she was implying that a less than six percent minority of women that breastfeed after six months are doing this. So much hysteria around the whole thing it’s ridiculous especially when previously she’d said make your choice and get on with it. I have previously stated that myself in real life have never encountered any of these breast feeding mafia unicorns who look down on formula feeding mothers or these women who formula feed and think breastfeeding mothers are smug bitches. Only on Mumsnet to be honest.

The poster herself in her previous post said she bloody hated breastfeeding so I imagine she was delighted to stop. She also said feeding choices were nothing in the scheme of things as a parent then said that the demonising culture regarding what whatever feeding choices a woman makes might affect their mental health. Thus then giving feeding choices more significance than her previous post. I suggested that switching to bottle feeding might make the end result of that process more appealing and affording more bonding opportunity than an actual bottle itself. Of formula or expressed milk.

If you want to try and skew what I have written into something else I couldn’t care less.

I will never understand why this is such a divisive issue among women. What does it matter how others feed their babies?

@SistineScreamer

Quite the fan aren’t we?
I am not invalidating anyone’s experience.

I responded to a women who said she chose to FF from the first 24 hours because she did not want to feel like a cow or a milk bar. That is hypothetical and insulting to me and many other women who breastfeed and don’t feel like this at all. If she’d fed for months and said she stopped because she felt that way well that’s different but she didn’t.

I responded to another woman who said she didn’t get the whole magical thing about breastfeeding and challenged her on her ability to do this because she had never actually breastfed. I have breast and Bottle formula fed so I can compare the two. I wasn’t the only person to state this incidentally.

I then responded to a woman who made contradictory comments about the significance of feeding after saying in the scheme of parenting feeding choices were negligible. I even wrote in that post that I understand and get the benefits of formula feeding but that in my view and experience it’s the opportunities to do something other than breastfeed that bring about the increased bonding not the bottle feeding itself. This is especially true when you consider that millions of women say they love the fact they can give their baby to someone else to feed or share the night feeds, etc etc And that this helped them enjoy being a mother more.

If you find this offensive and insulting as I have before it says more about you than me or my views. I stand by all my comments. If you don’t like them that’s fine but your rantings suggest you haven’t even read them properly.