AIBU to call my colleagues out on constantly spelling my name wrong?

[gretagreengrapes]

I started a new job about 8 weeks ago. Certain team members spell my name wrong on every email, despite it being in the email address, on rotas, telephone lists etc. I'm finding it a little rude and careless to be honest.

Think Tracey/Tracy, Clare/Claire... but with more than one letter difference, more Sean/Shaun.

AIBU to call them out on it, and how do I tell them?

I get the wrong name a lot- Old-fashioned variant of a popular name. When a lot younger, people could react negatively if I asked them to use my correct name.At one level it doesn’t bother me but I remind myself my mother loves my name. Normally I just smile and Explain this to people - and politely ask them to use it. Never an issue

My name is often misspelt I don't worry about it. I wouldn't say anything.

This scenario will just get worse as a number of people now have decided to take a name from a particular region but then anglicise /phoneticise it. Eg Niamh/Neeve/Neave.

The trouble is, parents always seem to want to give a unique name and often fall into the trap of just spelling a name differently.
Us fossilised folk find it hard to keep up with all the variants.
Yes, names are in emails but most folk just click on the email address that looks most correct in the drop box and don't think any more about it.

Maybe parents would stop trying to recreate a name.
Maybe people who have multiple variants of a name should just accept it.

And yes... I've had over 50 years of people spelling and mid-pronouncing my first name, maiden name and my married surname.

Life's too short.

I have an unusual first and last name. I would spend a lot of time grumpy if I allowed the misspellings and mispronounciations wind me up.

I get Kat alllllll the time, despite cat being spelled c-a-t 🤷‍♀️

I've always felt sympathy for those named Rachel/Rachael - they seem to get called 'Racheal' a lot. Then there are names like Claire, Catherine and Amy which have several spellings - all of which are correct of course but it must get terribly annoying to have to keep telling people 'There's no 'E''.

I have an Irish name, not one of the beautiful sounding ones, a monstrosity and it is never spelt correctly. Thankfully, the first letter sounds like a name in its own right so I tend to just use that.

I don’t really like the term ‘call out’ - it’s like you think there is a moral authority in being able to spell.

Can’t you just ask them politely.

I have this too! My name is a slightly less common spelling of a name (one letter difference, eg. Tracy/Tracey etc) but it seems like everyone finds it so hard to spell it right!! My sister in law, who I've known for 28 years, has never spelled it correctly on a card, and I often find people will spell it wrong on my Facebook page, even when my name is right there on the page!! It's infuriating.

Just to add, having been a TA for eighteen years, I've seen so many strangulated variants of even the most simple and humble names as well as astonishingly ridiculous spellings of names.
Don't get me started on current fads. There are going to be a lot of young people, in years to come , who will not be thanking their parents for their names!

I agree you should definitely bring the correct spelling to their attention, rather than the sanctimonious and idiotic 'calling out'.

I don't care how people spell my name. It really doesn't matter. Sometimes they don't even get the right name.

E-mails usually are on Reply or a drop down list or a group. I almost never actually have to type out an email address letter by letter. The correct spelling is sometimes an issue but not as often as people make out.

Why should they remember - especially if a name is from a different language? Yet everyday words that everyone needs, that were taught in school, which do not have seven random alternative spellings...?

The people who inist that some colleague should be able to remember that is it Tracey with an E and Lucie with an IE and Krystina with a K but Cate with a C "because "it's not hard" are often unable to distinguish between your and you're, happily write could of and would of, and don't know and can't spell at least three of the words in the "vital" e-mail they are writing. But hey - everyone should know how to spell Caitlynne - because "it's not hard"

People get mine wrong all the time. Similar to me being Janet but getting called Jane. Only slightly different written down but a totally different name. It drives me mad. Tell them op.

People never spell my name correctly (I have one that has an alternative spelling), but conversely, I never remember anyone else's spelling either.

I wouldn't be offended OP.

Why should they remember - especially if a name is from a different language?

Because it's polite. And how ignorant oh well if it's from a different language fuck it nobody can be expected to spell it right.

I email people with names I have literally never heard before. I check. Every. Single. Time. How to spell them because it is polite! I know several Mohamed / Muhammad / Mohammed's all spelt slightly different and no I can't always remember who spells it which way but again I check because it's polite and because it matters.

When I was new at my job I spelled a colleagues name wrong in an email (Tracy/Tracey). She immediately responded and pointed out the error and I NEVER made that mistake again ;)

I have a normal name, but no one spells it right. I do correct people. Or just say call me netty.

Customers keep calling me Sonia at the minute
As in I answer the phone saying "Catherine/totally different but v common name that's nothing like Sonia"
Customer "ah good morning Sonia"
Me

I would mention it. I get annoyed. I have a foreign name, but ffs. It's VERY easy one! And! It's in my email, it shows as my name, it's my signature.

In my opinion it's either done on purpose or the person has absolutely no attention to detail or is thick.

@HoldMyLobster they probably did that on purpose!

I've got a name like that and it does piss me off, but I tend not to make a fuss about it (just internally seethe). Luckily the people I actually work with always get it right, it's more the general public who spell it wrongly. But still, when it's in response to an email I've sent with my name definitely spelled correctly in the signature it just comes across as so lazy and rude.

The reason I don't say anything is because of an incident when I was an undergraduate. I was a member of an email discussion group for a student interest, the forerunner of an online forum. One member was replying to another and accidentally typed Anotnia instead of Antonia. Obviously we all knew her name was Antonia and it was just a typo, it's not like Anotnia is even a name (and this was before 'unique' spellings of traditional names became popular). But when she replied, she insisted on pointing out 'and it's Antonia, not Anotnia.' She was called Anotnia by nearly everybody of our extended acquaintance (even people who weren't on the email list) for the next three years and well beyond. Even now, we've lost touch but she's occasionally interviewed on tv or radio, I always think, 'Oh, it's Anotnia.' So even though I remember Anotnia quite fondly, I never complain about the spelling of my name because I don't want to spend the next 20 years being known as 'Anne with an e' or equivalent.

I check too - but not everyone does - and I don't expect them too. It is not "ignorant" to predict that people are more likely to know how to spell names that are in a language that is familiar to them. In fact the opposite of ignorance. I work in an international environment and pre-Covid was frequently travelling so my comment is based on many years of evidence. People who don't speak my language almost always misspell my name.

@louiseTrees I'm impressed you spelt Lynsey the way you did. Guess my name! And yes i get various spellings of my name more often than not.

Fink - exactly. I have seen similar.

And many of the people swearing they never get it wrong probably do on occasion - because we all do - just most people let it go.

As you are newish to the job, and the error has already led to you not getting important emails, I would simply do an email to all and say

My name is KATHERINE please ensure you always spell it correctly, it's not good to miss out on important emails.
Thank you
Katherine

I have been letting it go for 8 weeks, thinking they might finally read my email signature. They also sign off letters / reports I dictate, and I'm having to alter my name on each one.
I am going to politely tell them how it's spelt in the next email.
I'm not sure what's so wrong with the term call out, to criticise an action but will refrain from this in the future as it's obviously quite offensive!