Has anyone found love at the school gates?

[Wishfulthinkk]

Posting for traffic. Name changed as I’m embarrassed
Has anyone found love on the school run / at the school gates?
My son has just started school, bumped into a man who used to be my next door neighbour many years ago. His son has just started in same class as mine. He’s now divorced. I’m single. Probably wishful thinking but just wondering?!

I don’t see why not as you’re both single. There’s no reason you couldn’t get to know each other. Maybe you could get chatting and ask if he wants to get a coffee or something?

My exh did

Dont shit where you eat springs to mind?

One of the mums at my school did. The headmistress had to ask the man who's marriage she wrecked to stop doing the school run for home wreckers Dd. His own slightly older daughter by the wife he left kept seeing him and getting very distressed.

If you're both single why not? Just take it slow - if it goes wrong you'll have to see him every day for years.

The headmistress had to ask the man who's marriage she wrecked to stop doing the school run for home wreckers Dd.

He wrecked his own marriage. Stop holding women accountable for the actions of men.

Not personally but happened to two of DD's classmates' relatives. Caused real problems as there was overlap with a partner in a coma. Didn't quite come to fisticuffs in the playground but it was unpleasant to watch and hear the vitriol which went on for years.

@Lantern156

The headmistress had to ask the man who's marriage she wrecked to stop doing the school run for home wreckers Dd.

He wrecked his own marriage. Stop holding women accountable for the actions of men.

I came to say exactly that. He wrecked his own home!

Yes, other people, including when I was at school but in all honesty it’s always been really messy and unsettling for the kids involved.

My husband is a teacher and he's been invited by many single mothers to go for a drink to discuss their child's performance or to come over for dinner to improve parent/teacher relationships. He's even had students give him letters from their single mothers saying to meet him at X bar for a drink at Y time - it's clearly embarrassing for the students involved.
Whilst there's nothing wrong with two parents dating (obviously), I do think you should consider the impact on the children. If it doesn't end well, will they still get along. Is his ex likely to cause trouble and might this impact your child at school (via their child)? Just have a think, if it seems all good then take it slow and go for it.

My husband is a teacher and he's been invited by many single mothers to go for a drink to discuss their child's performance or to come over for dinner to improve parent/teacher relationships. He's even had students give him letters from their single mothers saying to meet him at X bar for a drink at Y time - it's clearly embarrassing for the students involved.

That's actually so sad that the mothers are doing that. Does your husband wear a ring or do they know he is married?

I did. We were both single though, been seeing each other for a couple of years now. I don't think anyone else at the school gates actually knew (they're now at secondary so no longer do school runs), apart from another mum who I'm friendly with. And it took us a long time to tell our children, who were fine with it. Our children are friends so we got chatting after a play date and it just developed from there really.

Well there is a family drama that continues to play out like a soap at ours . Generally I've only ever found litter and the odd lost glove.

(I forgot to add, good luck!)

I suspect this is quite common, especially as dads at the school gate are still in the minority. I’m another one whose exH had a relationship with a married mum. Now we are separated he has moved in on another one!
But I guess it’s fine if both parties are single as in the OP’s case. Just keep it under wraps a bit as it might be embarrassing for the children.

I would definitely keep it under wraps - I didn't want our DDs to be embarrassed or for other parents to gossip about it. But don't see why not if you're both single. Also if it doesn't work out, if they've just started that's a long time to have to see him on the school run! But good luck!

My friend did she was divorced he was a widow they have now been married 8or 9 years. (Can't fully recall what year they married)

Thanks all! It’s probably just wishful thinking on my part. We have friendly chats at the school gates a couple of times a week when we bump into each other. But there’s not been any flirting or anything from either side. Probably just a silly fantasy in my head. I don’t date or online date or anything as I have sole care of my two young children as their father passed a few years ago. So there’s no opportunity for me to meet men. Nor am I actively trying to. I’ve always thought he was a lovely man (not as in to fancy, just a nice chap) and now hearing he’s divorced may be kind of made me look at him in a different way. He’s not conventionally attractive or anything stand out, he’s just very nice and I feel really comfortable chatting to him, it’s just an easy rapport. Like I say, probably a silly fantasy on my end and I doubt I’ve even registered on his radar tbh!

Tbh there is so much flirting on the school run from dads to male school staff to lesbian/bi mums giving the side eye. Sooo yeah im sure liaisons happen.. whether it's actually 'love' is a whole other story.

WishfulThink .Sorry to hear your DH passed away .Have you friends who may babysit occasionally or DGP ? Anyway why not just chat to the guy you like and be friendly to him,see how it goes, perhaps see if he might like to go for a coffee one morning?

I can't think of an occasion. Dads were/are in the minority in my Dad's schools.

@CakeRequired

My husband is a teacher and he's been invited by many single mothers to go for a drink to discuss their child's performance or to come over for dinner to improve parent/teacher relationships. He's even had students give him letters from their single mothers saying to meet him at X bar for a drink at Y time - it's clearly embarrassing for the students involved.

That's actually so sad that the mothers are doing that. Does your husband wear a ring or do they know he is married?

He has a ring but they either don't look or don't care. They hover around him like flies at school events.

@dottiedodah my parents are deceased and the children’s Grandparents on their fathers side have now retired abroad unfortunately. I do have friends I could ask to babysit, but have never done so far.
I’m probably being ridiculous and deluded. Sad and lonely and fantasising over something! I’d never make the first move anyway so will just continue to have friendly chats and keep my romantic fantasies in my head

Wishful think.You are still young ,and your fantisies are not "deluded" at all! Sorry to hear your DP have passed.My DM (also now passed sadly) was a widow in her early 40s ,with me to look after as well.Dad died in his early 50s .She remarried my stepdad and they had a long marriage together .You never know what the future may hold! Keep having friendly chats with this chap and see what transpires .Sending hugs to you xx

He has a ring but they either don't look or don't care. They hover around him like flies at school events.

OK that makes them highly pathetic then. Feel sorry for your husband.